"Dead: OSAMA following U.S. raid!":
"Thousands of Moslems riot in streets of Dearfield!":
"Wife used as human shield, happened to be there!":
"Virgins come down from Heaven: Photo-shoot proves Osama dead!":
"Countless Washington bureaucrats worked on Manhattan-like project!":
"Respected agent with astigmatism takes back claim that Osama was shot in left eye!":
"Initial suspicions raised when neighbours reported strange activity!":
"Artist's rendition of what might have been going on in the Complex!":
"U.S. surveillance focused on comings and goings of Osama body-guard!":
"BP execs present during time of Operation!":
"OBL being buried at sea, along with smartphone and box of DNA!":
- [PICTURE STILL AT CLEANERS] -
"People at the Pentagon express relief, joke about invading Pakistan!":
Note: Actual date for release of truly Dead Osama will be night before election, 2012, according to latest Bin Laden video.
LATE BREAKING: It really WAS ORVILLE REDENBACHER!!
