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* - galaxy

regarding the madonna/whore complex

Posted on 2011.04.19 at 05:03
Women are esteemed as great amazing beautiful goddesses, on the one hand, and bitches and whores and sluts and so forth, on the other. This is called the Madonna/Whore complex. One reason women are given this duality is because of men. A man sees a woman as a Goodly ideal, and strives to win her and marry her, subsequently achieving a kind of social security, and possibly a dowry and maybe a beer factory or something. But, woe, the man who sees a woman as scum - he is out to TAKE her, or rape her - to steal her power, or her spirit. Why? Because he is either out to take her away from some other man/men, or he is seeking to crush the strength, or man, in her. He is out to UN-MAN her. Or maybe she's just actually a whore. Who knows. Anyway, scenario:

A man marries a woman and runs into a bunch of emotional turmoil with her. This could be because his ideal of her is now crushed - he has to deal with the fact that she is an individual, that she actually poops, and that she has her own little MAN living inside her, who can be something of a bastard at times. Or, this may be because he happened to marry a screwed-up woman. (Usually, it is a combination of the two, plus him being a jackass). Let's say she turns out to be an emotionally unstable nut - or just has some personality disorder. And, no matter WHOM she married, she'd end up unhappy and in a dysfunctional relationship. Well, certainly the husband, by now, is thinking she's nuts - and a whore and all that.

One day, the woman is crying, and she calls her friend, a man - possibly a jerk. Man number two CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! How DARE man #1 cause this wonderful ideal goddess to CRY!! Well, see, man #2 is using this "goddess" device in order to fight away man #1, the husband. It's a ploy for his own personal conquests. Going to war for the Queen. Men feel driven to fight and compete with each other, and the Madonna/whore complex is their excuse to do this. (It's not so much that they genuinely care about the ACTUAL woman).

Then man #2 ends up marrying the woman, becomes convinced that she is a bitch, and the process continues... Both the males and the female(s) have been socialised into playing out this little dualistic dysfunction. And they learnt it from their own parents. Mom was so absolutely giving and selfless - but damn her, she controlled every aspect of life!

And, females also project a similar dualism onto men: All men are liars, bastards and jerks, "except for MY man! He is the toppers! He is the knee of a bee!" Because, well, dad was so wonderful all the time, except when he came home drunk. Then he was a bastard and a liar, always making Mom cry... It's a childish thing, this dualism. But it is partly necessary, to make life interesting. The more interesting, (i.e., BDSM), that it makes life, though, then the less that INTIMACY or RESPONSIBILITY or JOY are cultivated - replaced by a pathetic emotional dependency.


kurisitaru at 2011-04-19 21:12 (UTC) (Lien)
We touched up on these topics and topics simuliar to them in my sociology class. We also learned that there are 182 ways to call a woman a slut, most of them negative terms, and about 43 ways to call a man a slut, most of them are positive. (If you consider things like "pimp" and "player" to be positive). I also think that is many languages not just the English language, but that wasn't clarified to me...
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2011-04-20 14:31 (UTC) (Lien)
hello, you floosie - yes, there is a double standard

on the other hand, not a lot of sex would get accomplished if men weren't encouraged to be the whores that they are - women tend not to take initiative, are more passive, but maybe that's all sociolisation - partly due to the labels - although not entirely

the only female who ever really took active initiative with me was a lesbian

so, who knows which came first, the labels, or the reservation - there is a big penalty when females take initiative - i haven't thought much about why that would be in an evolutionary sense - if it means anything there - if it's natural at all

anyway - i'm pretty sure that the label difference is similar in most other countries, except in places like Bhutan or Nepal - esp. in Western countries
hellaine at 2011-04-20 00:24 (UTC) (Lien)
OT but elmo chasing rinoa, eh?
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2011-04-20 14:34 (UTC) (Lien)
hi - yes

i don't know how people know that, tho - i didn't - i couldn't recognise the girl - although she has a hot upper body

i think Katy Perry might be more appropriate, tho, wouldn't you?
minuetcat at 2011-04-21 20:10 (UTC) (Lien)
There are so many enlightening things I could say in light of this, but alas, I am braindead. It was a very interesting read, though!
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2011-04-22 16:11 (UTC) (Lien)
thank you

all brains are welcomed to the banquet

happy earth day!!
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