I was in bed asleep - dreaming that I was in bed asleep. Sick. I lay in some new, forlorn apartment, alone, on a mattress, hearing little noises from the neighbours next door. Somehow viewing their TV-show life on my computer. And I was that guy next door that no one knew and he never came out. Because he must be strange. He must be forgotten.
Some important official in Pakistan was shot to death by his body guard, 26 times in the back. The body guard smiled because he was doing God's will. The important official had come out in opposition to an unfair law which allows ANYONE to accuse ANYONE of insulting Islam, and the accused is put to death - evidence is not really necessary. So, if someone has a gripe against their neighbour, then they say that the person was talking shit about Mohammed, and bingo, the accused is sentenced to death.
The important official came out against this, and God's will was done.
Beyond the injustice, look at what this is. It is a complete involution of morality - a perversion - a mutation of people into frightened killers, ruled only by an atmosphere of desperate conservatism - a social milieu suffocating anything that seeks to move forward or freely. It is turned in, eating itself. The state sneaks around in people's dreams and blood vessels, and everyone is infected - everyone is guilty.
And I thought, "That's what's happening to us..."
That's where many people are trying to take us. That's how they want everyone to deal with economic decline - with dysfunction and death, instead of new answers. Because new answers rob power from those who profit from the status quo - and from further stagnation and corruption.
It's been a long slog to this place. Americans already had in them Puritan values and reservations. But now it's everywhere...
I've watched people grow up and get careers - in social activism, in law, in business, banking, etc. - and from what I see, they all pretty much have the same job now. They have all become professional blame-placers. Careers, wealth, progress, profits - these are all measured by how efficiently others can be neutralised or undone by blame. Subtle insinuations, interrogations, assumptions, commandeerings, accusations - a thousands cuts, another cold billion.
So the ethic is now everywhere. It just isn't being said. But try it on your friends. Whatever they say. What ever they do. Respond by saying this:
"That's God's way of punishing you," and see what happens.
It will seem to fit, strangely.
Close down and stoop under the yoke. For it is slave or enslave these days. And the great majority are quietly learning the former. Go along to get along. Don't fret when they come for your neighbour. Abide, because, "If you're not guilty, then what are you afraid of?"
How did we get here? Running towards the popular, away from the shunned. I've seen people mean to placate me with platitudes and, convincing themselves they have succeeded, then running off to ingratiate themselves towards my enemies - my socially-chosen enemies - enemies I can't de-enemise on my own because society requires the enmity to "function" - it needs the game. And there is a mutual cajolling and exchanging of gifts, whereas I am on a mattress staring at a wall.
This is how the rich become richer, and the middle class become slaves. Everyone runs away from anything that might associate them with guilt, and run towards anyone who can buy their sense or appearance of shame away.
But the shame remains.
Shame is the name.
Because, "That's God's way of punishing you."
It must be foisted externally, and so, this is how we make the economy continue. Blame is the game.
"Languish within our benign neglect. Accept our crappy internet. Accept our crappy high-speed rail. Accept our shipping of jobs overseas. Our picking of pockets; devouring of the Commons, and shifting of blame... Run. Run with us. Run from the shame. What ARE you, a loser?"
I'll tell you something. When you realise that certain wonderful people are out there doing all they can to discredit you, you may overcome your depression...
Because it has always been THEIR depression. NOT yours.
But if you do not play the game, running away, cowering to... If you do not accept the game of shame and blame, and instead take responsibility for your SELF here on Earth, HERE AND NOW, there is a very good chance that Hell will come early for you: Your punishment will somehow be administered to you before, not after, you die. (Unless you physically break free of it all - and I don't mean via suicide!)
Funny how that works out.
"How's that mattress working out for ya?"...
Very slowly, coming out of my pain here and there, I saw the lady on the CBS Evening News ALL so VERY EXCITED about the NEW CONGRESS - and, "Welcome, won't you come in to these halls with me, because oh it's WONDERFUL..." And then the story flashes to, "And here's how the Republicans intend to repeal Obama-care...".
I thought, "This is OBSCENE!"
And, everywhere, the story is all about Owen Honors, Owen Honors - SHUT UP ABOUT OWEN HONORS!! Who the fuck cares about Owen Honors?!