"a killing field for hypotheses" (madman101) wrote,
"a killing field for hypotheses"


I am thankful for all the people in my life - that they aren't here.

I am thankful that I can still boil old veggies and give them to my dog.

I am thankful that I have so many socks that I can simply wear them and throw them out.

I am thankful that the Polynesian girl has finally stopped staring at me.

I am thankful that I've bought gifts for people all year, so Christmas will be less expensive.

I am thankful for Norman Goldman and Chicago Progressive Radio, which switches to DANCE at 9:pm.

I am thankful I am not on Lindsey Lohan's speed-dial.

I am thankful every time I recover from CFS I plumit into a relapse, relieving my guilt and self-awareness.

I am thankful the Koreans know what they're doing.

I am thankful that I discovered giant bags of powdered Yam at the Hispanic Meat Market.

I am thankful I am no longer addicted to House MD.

I am thankful the Pilgrims invented Thanksgiving as a way to starve the turkey-luvin' Injuns.

I am thankful that I am a white male near the greatest city in the greatest country in the world, alone, poor, and wrapped in leather BDSM straps.

I am thankful that I have proven that being right is the opposite of making money.

I am thankful for Benadryl as a last resort.

I often do not show my tongue the appreciation that it deserves. So - thanks, tongue.

I am thankful I don't have to concern myself with the whole TAX CUTS issue.

I am thankful that my laptop works and I can finally worry about hackers again.

I am thankful that there's a still a chance that I can rake the leaves.

I am thankful that those screaming animals seem to no longer be living in the fireplace upstairs.

I am thankful for rainy days; the time between Xmas and New Years, and those 9 months in the womb that seemed to go by in a flash.

But, most of all, I am thankful for Lizz Winstead, and all the work George Bush has provided her. Let's have a B&B! Cheers!

I have heard 6 or 7 xmas songs so far today. Help! I hate this part of xmas - the constant xmas music! The other part I don't like is that, 2 weeks before xmas, there is a competition of people to be petty, mean, rude and condescending, until they can relax around Dec. 20, and be all cheerful and loving. Many poor people and minorities and maginalised people simply don't survive this period, and they FLIP OUT. How fortunate for the majority! Little examples of how BAD people can be! Lucky us!!!

One xmas song I heard which was OK was a kind of 60's/INDIE thing, like, "Baby, It's A Wonderful Life." It's worth listening to, if you want an xmas song. Even better than Jewel. Even the morning GARDENING SHOW had THE FROZEN ROBINS on there, singing xmas carols, including, "Oh Rahm, oh Rahm, Emanuel...", which had pretty good lyrics, for which I am also thankful. http://frozenrobins.com/

Yes, I've sent my gifts to peeps all year, and in return was stabbed in the back, of course. I even packed BOXES of Christmas Stuff, etc., a card, a 2-CD mix, and other CDs, for a relative BACK IN JULY - CHRISTMAS IN JULY - fully realising that it would take AT LEAST 5 MONTHS before my other relatives passed this stuff along for me. This is what xmas means. xmas is only important one day a year, then we ignore what it really MEANS, the rest of the year.

It's not important because it is important - or vice versa.

I had a dream: I had been to the mountain top, and I ordered a McRib. In fact - I DID wake up from a dream, with one of those deep FEELINGS you get after a dream sometimes. Like you are wide awake, your life is suddenly on PAUSE, you look around, and you are aware of something very profound and new, or changing. Sometimes,it is because someone you know has just died, and passed by in the night. Sometimes it's because of some badly digested piece of broccoli, or such...

First of all, there are few times when my illness really subsides enough for me to be truly contemplative or meditative. Such had happened last night.

(That relief has ended btw - I now have a fine morning eyegraine).

ALSO, I don't know why they do it, but the Madison classical FM station likes to play REALLY LOUD BOMBASTIC PIECES at about 4:am, which is when my radio is automatically tuned to it for a greater SLEEPING experience. Instead, the music wakes me up! I don't know if they're trying to stay awake, or they're trying to wake up all the dairy farmers, but it often fills my dreams with strange themes and background mx, and force my dreams to end with some START or SHOCK or MEANING...

But, I dreamt that - oh damn, I don't know who he was now - but this famous guy was in jail, and he was on the phone to someone in an argument, and when it ended, he threw the phone and it hit me on the forehead. I called him and explained that I didn't want to be pinged on the forehead again, but I was cool about it. He said, "I like your style."

More importantly, every one was in a school cafeteria. And the TeaBaggers had convinced the majority whites to now only allow the blacks to eat one serving of mashed potatoes. Even though the portions were about the size of a small chicken, that's all they got, and the majority got two or more servings, plus other food, and they had big square cardboard, (like egg-carton cardboard), plates - but the blacks were given small square cardboard plates.

I was off with the blacks, and the kid who plays CHRIS ROCK on EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS was my little buddy. I commiserated with them, and gave him a hug. He simply asked me to make them some green tea, to make them feel better. I'm nuts, I know...

But I realised that the majority whites had made this move because the TeaBaggers had convinced them that DENYING, (or competing with), the blacks was the best choice cuz IT WAS IN THEIR INTEREST. They got to eat more potatoes, a supposedly dwindling resource.

But why couldn't they be convinced that COOPERATING was even MORE in their interest, because by cooperating, everyone would get more potatoes?! All they needed was a new message of selfishness, packaged in "SHARING".

So I made an appeal to them, along these lines. I reminded them that we were all in the same CLASS, (as in a class in HS). So, how could they allow to let othr CLASSMATES be treated as something lesser than THEMSELVES?! We need to pull together!

"Look at us! We are all good, great people! We are SUPERHERO'S! We are not in need over POTATOES! We can do ANYTHING WE WANT! Are you just going to sit by, and buy into this insulting rhetoric, (camouflaged race-baiting), of the TeaBaggers - that suggest that YOU HAVE NO DIGNITY?! Or are you going to TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE THE SUPERHERO'S THAT YOU ARE, and let the blacks eat what they want?!"

I convinced them. Then I woke up - with that FEELING. I saw how the separation of large servings vs small servings was what has been going on more and more between the majority whites on one side of this city, and the poor/blacks on the other. And, perhaps it behooves me to do something about it... I don't know... When all my attention is going into GETTING OUT OF THIS TOWN...

But the blacks are still A PART of me. And I say that with deep significance. More than most whites, I know the black experience, the black psychology, the black pain... Living living around this culture for so long, I am keenly aware - despite the crime, the danger, the dysfunction - all, which I mainly despise.

You notice that, with the fall of the economy, there has been a drop in crime. Well, that's partly due to cell phone cameras, etc. That's also partly due to Obama being elected - which was, if you turn it over, a masterful strategy of the elites, (Brown Brothers, Koch Brothers, etc.). But this is also due to another phenomenon, which is this:

Blacks are not stupid. In good times, in somewhat bad times, they can make as much noise as they want. But, when push comes to shove - when times get REALLY bad, they "know their place"...

(Woops - I burnt my dog's asparagus. The kitchen filled up with smoke - and now the whole house. Eyegraine is why!...)

And THAT means that blacks know they are the minority. They completely understand how cut-throat and selfish some individual, ("individualistic"), white can be - HAVE been - esp. towards THEM. And that explains much of their sociology and culture - which has some power to it, so long as the whites are all "INDIVIDUALISED" and in it for themselves. But the blacks know that SHOULD EVER those individual whites band together into a selfish cut-throat MOB majority, then the blacks are in real danger.

So, the blacks are calm, non-reactionary - basically trying to tread economic water a bit more than they've always done. They are much wiser than most whites about how to deal with economic shocks - and don't have the convenience of blaming blacks. BUT, should the economy hit a second dip, and/or should the UNEMPLOYMENT COMPENSATION halt, and/or should something damning be exposed about Obama's association with the elites, then there can be a heavy backlash from the blacks.

And, to stray a little off topic, this could associate with CATHOLICS, if it's really solid, and based on social justice. One reason is because the debt. crisis in Europe could likely evoke major uprising in Catholic countries, against the bankster-governments' austerity demands, (or against the northern Protestant profiteer elites. We may be in for a pusche by the former Holy Roman Empire against the north. Watch France and Poland, and Mexico).

Well, a few weeks ago, I realised that there was real opportunity in dawning a white robe, losing the shoes, and going to NYC to preach some damn new religion. The time is PERFECT for that. Seriously. Or, it could come from someone from, say, the Philippines, or South America - into the belly of the new Empire. May the PACK-MAN, hey? If I had my choice, it would be Kesha - although Shakira fulfills the "ALIEN" requirement. Lady GaGa is more likely to invade Britain. And Sarah Palin has her eye on North Korea, which she can see from her house...

But maybe I oughta just dress up like Lady GaGa and walk around the neighbourhood, offering to bring comfort to the disenfranchised blacks, for like $20 a BJ...

So, yeah. Also in this dream was a bunch of mathematical or logical figuring, which I have completely forgotten. Well, the title of this dream should be the song that I was singing, or Chris Rock was singing, near the end...

"So, just run away, and be proud..." I think this song might have come before my whole SERMON TO THE WHITES UPON THE POTATO PILE...

If it weren't for the eygraine, I would have remembered the actual notes of this song. But, it does have some representation of my life. For, do not EYE want to run away FROM THIS CITY, and somehow be proud of my life - sort of as a substitute for actaully being physically ABLE to accomplishing anything I would have otherwise have been proud of? The answer is yes, it does. It also represents a kind of resigned attitudes by blacks at the moment. Since I thing the economy will still get worse, that resignation won't last forever. The blacks are biding their time, waiting for things to get better... IMAGINE their surprise when Sarah Palin is elected Pope...

This Christmas, please give more potatoes to black people. And, if you're black, gimme a hug!

There were some interesting stories on the radio machine since I last wrote to you, dear reader. One story was about the naked man who ended up in a woman's home, sleeping on the sofa. Another story was about the man who's hand was impaled on the HOOK he was retrieving from a big fish's mouth. He couldn;t get his hand removed, so he clubbed the fish and asked his son to cut the rest of the fish body off. Then the man drove six miles and walked into a clinic, with his fish-head hand up in the air, "I need some help here - real quick!"

Other stories were from the, "Wait! Wait! Don't tell me!" ANIMAL SPECIAL... The former body-guard of THE ROLLING STONES spoke wisely of several things. He also has a show on cable: "ANIMAL RESCUES", or something. He's amazingly ZEN - you should give the show a listen. Another story was about an animal-catcher who had to get a 350 pound, 26-foot SNAKE out of a sewer, or some place. He didn't know how do do this. So, he asked a passing boy - little, about 60 pounds - to allow himself to be lowered into a hole to taunt the snake with a towel tied to the end of a brrom-stick. The snake bit the towel, the kids screamed to be let out, and they fished the boy, pulling the snake, out of the hole. Nice story - great law-suit...

This morning, http://www.ttbook.org covered CONSUMERISM, including Chuck Klosterman, a bit on Andy Warhol, and the author of "CHEAP". Meanwhile, on local NPR, some Irish theosopher named Donahue(?) spoke of how the world won't let us live our own private thoughts and contemplations anymore - too much noise, too much technology, too much materialism, (too much IMPERIAL INVASION OF PRIVACY). So, we are all taken away from our own spiritual independence and imagination and creativity - although what he was implying is that we've been taken away from GOD and such...

But I know, this is true. I can view pics or videos on my laptop - but do I really NEED to? I watch very little TV now. I can do without an expensive cellphone. Nobody wants to call me unless they just want to text and twitter about completely pointless things in their lives, "I'm BREATHING now..."

I have maybe 7 cellphones for some reason. I don't use them. If I ever used one, it would only be in case I ever wanted to dial 911. I wouldn't need a plan, even...

And, so, you see, this rather is like the story of my life. All I really need is 911. No plan. No text. All I need is my imagination, away from this CFS - and just for that, I would be thankful... To just run on, and be proud... For the encrypted, unknowable statement which is my life...

And so, I'd like to make a movie about my life, called, "Cellphone Without A Plan"

It will be the 2012 remake of, "Rebel Without A Cause."

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