I am the person who will destroy China. (madman101) wrote,
I am the person who will destroy China.

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my life is no picnic

OK - some of you may have gotten the wrong impression. I am not really a madman - I just play one on LJ. Actually, my name is a reference to Madison, WI - and the 101 is a reference to the University there, and a kind of "into to me". But mad is OK, too.

But you think I'm a little nuts do ya? Well, go check out psychostalker9's latest entry. She leaves me in the dust!

And she should be president.

Here are some quotes from her...

"the more you suffer the more it shows you really care." -The Offspring
"stand back amigo, this is a job for the anti-christ!" -someone from JTHM
"the mailman is on your mom." -i dont know
"squirrelly wrath!" -foamy
"the power of death is intoxicating." -Legato Bluesummers
"i detest humanity but i think i hate tourists even more." -Hiei
"and you shall shed tears of scarlet." -Vicious
"BAKA!!!! BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA! BAAAAKAAA!!!" -inuyasha in japanese. (baka = idiot, fool, retard, ect.)
"its just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head." -Metallica
"i shall kill you all!" -Stewie
"real heros dont accept the world, they fight it." -Angel
"save a goat, sacrifice a human." -Me
"its like someone stabbed Mr. Bubble!" -stewie
"well fuck you Mr. bear!!! you speak lies!!!" -Nny

OK -

Well, bad news. Turns out my parents have been hiding this from me all these years. I just found out I am Jerry Seinfeld. Joking! Yo - I'm better than him, and do I CHARGE YOU FOR IT!?!?!? No!

But, the real truth is, well... My father once worked at a nuclear power plant in Brazil, that's where he met my mom. Once, they went on a picnic and got very high, and had sex. They were going to name me Adam - by coincidence - when they found that my dad wasn't actually the father. A bivoacing carpenter ant had somehow impregnated my mother. Something caused me to grow very large. So, a great deal of plastic surgery was performed when I was born, and I grew up as a normal child. But now there is an ant-leg growing out of my side and I am really at a loss. I wonder if this is something for Annie's Girls.

Anyway, it explains why I enjoy masticating my vegitables and hanging them all over my room until they get all fungusy. I thought I was just doing some Goth thing...

Well -

They're called "Cheddar Garlic Bread" from HiLander's, and there's a bunch of them in a bag. But I can't taste the garlic and I can't taste the cheddar. These ingredients are listed after "enzymes". My idea would be for them to be one part flour, one part salt, 48 parts cheddar, and 50 parts garlic.

But Doritoes has a new chip called, "Black Pepper Jack", which sounds like a pirate or a gang leader, but they taste good. Although every American processed food HAS to be made with, primarilly, Partially Hydrogenated Corn/Soybean Oil and SUGAR/Corn Syrup, these may actually have some non-hydrogenated and sunflour oil in them. However, they've got more monosodium glutimate than Monteray Jack!

There sould be a law - if people are going to feed us death, they should include antidotes like vitamin E as ingredients!

Ritz has made a cracker that tastes better than the standard Ritz - they're rectangular, salty, and great for toppings.

And there's some 4-cheese mini-crakers that have been around for 2 years that are GREAT, but I can't rmember their name.

So - if any of you feel you have been exposed to too many evil chemicals, like hair spray, hair dyes, gasoline, paints/solvents, pesticides (DEET), etc., and you are feeling oddly tired or allergic or edgy - then my advice is to get healthy before you possibly slide into a severe illness like CFS. So, how can you avoid the SLIDE?...

first, avoid these chemicals, and detox/fast if you can!

next, don't get into BIG stressful situations

next, get enough sleep so that you remember your dreams

next, avoid:
- monosodium glutinate (MSG)
- annato
- Aspartame/Nutrisweet

and if you are really serious, then cut down on:
- wheat products
- sugar/starch
- dairy products
- partially hydrogenated and trans fats
- red meat

So - that means go out into people's gardens, and graze. Migrate south if necessary.

How's THAT for variety!?!?!?

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