I am the person who will destroy China. (madman101) wrote,
I am the person who will destroy China.

assuming the fetal position

9:pm yesterday
This is day 3 of big relapse - still have big probs. First thing I start to do when a relapse clears is to deal with food. Food goes bad and I have to deal with it. I have some meaty-fatty soupy thing in there that has been in there forever - it's for making dog food - but I have boiled it three times. There were two turkey patties waiting to be dealt with. I usually don't eat meat, but I've been eating a little lately for some reason. One of the patties was a little dried out, and dark/hard. I fried them both up, and ate the dried one. I must announce that if you want turkey patties to taste more like beef, let them dry out. End of public service announcement.

Due to relapse, hadn't eaten in 3 days. Trying to deal with eye probs, first meal was greens - for the beta carateen and the lutein. Didn't help. Figured turkey might be helpful - partly cuz I am dealing with a little brain damage, as well as regenerating some muscle. So I chose the turkey burger - which may be bad because of the wheat bun. Garlic bread helped get me into this relapse in the first place. See how fun it is to be me? Dog is happy I'm getting better. He's been pretty patient about it. Although, it sometmes spooks him when I'm walking at snail's pace.

Well -

Read a new chapter each week of Thom Hartman's "Rebooting the American Dream" at http://truthout.org

Listen to 10 unreleased Springsteein songs on new box set "The Promise" on NPR's "Fresh Air" site - lasts only through tomorrow.

Get mellow Hawaiian coffee half-price for a limitted time at http://www.normangoldman.com - the best - and USA made.

You still don't believe? See book about BUSH FAMILY conspiracies - includes stuff about Brown Bros etc. elites CONTROLLING OUR POLITICS http://www.familyofsecrets.com

(Tues Nov.16 9:30am): Day 4 - relapse still lingering in eyegraine, balance, vertigo, north by northwest, etc. I have a tonne of physical stuff I have to do - I am 3 days behind. Urgent. Can't dare drink caffeinated green tea until noon at least. Can't overdo exertion or else this will build into major cfs probs again. How can I deal with things at my own pace when they keep throwing me these curve balls.

When I recover from relapses, my dreams are about me in younger and younger times - HS, family, playing pong in the womb, etc. This is because my cells are regenerating. This time, it hasn't really happened yet. I had a great dream last night, though - maybe I was about 20. I went to explore a vibrant little hick town. Near the end of the dream, children were being physically abused in the streets. See - this was a sign that my cells still aren't regenerated fully.

In the dream, I rode around, went to a bunch of places - a pool hall, a cafe, etc. It was fun. While I was sitting on a street bench, a cute-ish blonde girl came up and snuggled up with me, talking sweet, asking me to convince some new restaurant to lower the prices of their food and drinks. Or something like that. When I asked, "What's the competition like?", she acted as if I had spurned her. I guess she thought I thought she was a whore just using me, when in fact I was the only person she had snuggled up with in this mission of hers.

That happens to me in real life.

HYPOTHESIS: Tadpoles are fetuses. So are butterfly larva, mosquito larva, etc., etc. The normal course of life was to emerge from an egg in the water, pass through evolutionary stages into the sexually mature stage. More complex species retained only the earlier evolutionary stages, and then went through a quicky transformation into the puberty/adult stage, as in frogs, and butterflies, etc. The first phase, the fetal stage, was/is their "childhood" stage. Their fetuses HAD to be able to function outside, swimming or walking around, eating food, growing. But even more complex species, like chickens, left a lot of food inside their eggs, and this enclosed much of the fetal stage - wherein the fetus could be helpless and parasitic.

In more complex species, primarilly mammals, this transformation of the fetal stage into a helpless parasitic stage basically disabled the fetus - and a whole new intermediary stage had to emerge - that of actual childhood. So, with humans, we go through fetal, childhood, sexual. In fetal, we go through the phases of our evolution, basically. But childhood is something different - it substitutes some evolutionary with LEARNING. t puts distance between fetus "birth" into puberty, and the puberty stage. With humans and mammals, there is lots of time to establish identity, in childhood, between these two stages. Changes in our toxic environment are messing with this process.

The only dif between a human fetus and a tadpole is that the tadpole is functional in the environment - not helpless. The OTHER dif is that the tadpole is arguably of a less "advanced" species. When considering the morality, harm, or such, or ABORTION, this new perspective should be considered, if viable or valid. For whatever it means, in this perspective, a human fetus is comperable to a functional "child" of other species - I say comperable, not same.

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