You know that one slow, melancholy piano piece - da da da da daaa, da da da da......da.....da - that was playing today. And so was, "SepTEMber.... NoVEMber..... And these sweet days, I'll spend with you....." September is my favourite month. But, after walking my way right through the densely populated river fest - without being caught for not paying - and got home, I was lonely. Classical Japanese music was playing. I went out and played a little with my dog. But, feeling well is terrible, cuz you get the luxury of remembering what joy can be in life - HAS been in YOUR life - but there is absolutely none of it now. No friends. No future. No fun. No sweet summer nights playing music. No nights out on the town. Just this damn house to clean, and a hollow, hollow life, carved deep by relentless suffering. I believe I passed Andrea, from the Cafe Saga, in the crowd. She was looking at me, and so caught my attention - I mainly remained in my universe, a million miles away. And, I wonder what people think when they see me after so many years - did any of my conduct or hints or outrage plant any seeds of growth in them? Are they better people now - or do they want to avoid me and return to their pathetic bullshit world paved with gossip and games? Did Andrea, (if it was her), wonder to herself, "Why didn't I date him? Why was I such a complete C-WORD? I could totally understand him now." Or did she wonder, "OMG! it's that WEIRD GUY! Better text half the planet!"
I leave off, to watch Desperate Housewives - later...
(12:45 am): So, yeah, it's beautiful September, and I'm not starting a new school year, moving in with fun college roommates, going camping in the woods, meeting new friends at a job, going out and doing fun stuff, drinking coffee, getting stoned, selling body parts down at the old red mill. I'm just REFLECTING. The wind wafts in distant voices and piano notes, which wend awound and disappeaw down a wabbit whole. I think of all the people I wished I could have spent more meaningful time with. I lament that, by necessity of this illness, all of my associations have essentially ended with something to be desired. I am disappointed - I can't get mad at myself, I can't get mad at this illness. I see life going on, and one day, it will all be gone - all this colour and ceremony and festival - these happy people, these people who should have been happier, these lost wanderers, will all be dust oblivious, wafting through space, no sound, no breath. In my one lifetime, I have been so unable to do all that I wished I could have done - and I feel that, in the few places I have had effect, I have been more of a weight drawing people down, than the inspiration I so longed to be. To convey that we must live NOW, love NOW, see and feel all that is real around you, and bring out the best in each other - it's nothing more than an unheard cricket chirp from some crack in the sidewalk now.
In addition to these people, so sadly abandoned by my crushed heart, are all those who suffer in this world. Yesterday, some stranger threw acid on a woman's face in Portland - and the same thing happened again today in Arizona. They must have seen the same TV programme, of that poor little beauty queen in England, who's face was destroyed by acid from her despicable boyfriend. How terrible. I've seen a few of these programmes - maybe they are all "48 Hours". Tonight, it was about a girl named Krystal who's throat was slashed by a serial killer. Then there was also the story of the woman who lost most of her face from a bullet, and had to wear a fake face. And the triplets who were burned as children. It's all so sad - so insulting and pointless. How wonderful life could be if we would just grow up as a civilisation - but how can that be, when we are necessarilly infected with deviants and contrarians...
That's all I have to say about that. But here's an "unrelated" thought which occurred to me recently: Irrelevant things. Creative things with absolutely no use to anyone. Almost every invention, discovery or leap forward has occurred because someone somewhere was wasting time doing nothing of importance. I am completely serious. Think about it. Progress is based on irresponsibility. And this is why teenagers think they are immortal. If teenagers thought they were mortal, they would be too nervous to go out and do nothing useful all day long. They would seek to apply themselves and follow the rules and completely ignore dissolution and vanity. They would even have less sex - and this would greatly be due to the fact that the main force behind the feeling of immortality is libido. (You tap into the geometrically-amplifying feedback loop of a network of sexually-driven teens, and it feels like ANYTHING is possible!) And they would be desperate for any information about old people. If teenagers thought they were mortal, they would abhor wasting time. Instead, they are programmed to go out into the world with a very large screw lose in their heads, and take all kinds of ridiculous risks, and make up all kinds of ridiculous fun and games - and not even that - but to sit around all day wondering about completely meaningless things. So, you see, evolution has deliberately built the teenager like a fly who can't stop eating until it explodes and dies - and this is to the benefit of us all.
It is from the aimless flow of random imagination that virtually all great ideas have sprung. Such is the manure of our aspiration. The blood of our capitalism. The sinews of our religion. The snot-rags of our linen cabinet. And marijuana should be administered at birth.
I heard today that if you live within a mile of someone who is very positive and happy, then - or you will become 25% happier, or something. That's wild, whatever it means. Now, the specs and stats for this truthism was not elabourated upon, but still. There's a big difference between living in Montana and living in NYC - although, both extremes probably work against the happiness propagation. But the idea is that one positive person in your neighbourhood increases the happiness of people around them, and THEY increase the hapiness around THEM, etc. I believe in that. I've seen it happen. I've seen it shot down, far more often, in negative neighbourhoods. Where's the study on that, hmmm? Well, it is far easier to destroy a building than to create a building - so shouldn't negativity always win out? Not necessarilly. We evolved to be positive - and foolish and superstitious and empathic. It's really our most precious asset as a species. So.
Now, of course, cranky people live longer - but that's past childbearing age, which doesn't count. We need cranky grandparents to warn us of the wiley ways of the world. But, being happy and completely deluded during childbearing age is what we are designed for. See also "Teenager".
I've been both the happy person and the negative person. Being the happy person takes at least ten times more balls. And life isn't easy, walking around with 20 testicles in your underpants.
Oh - excuse me - I mean PANTIES... Got to be POLITICALLY CORRECT, huhhhhhhhhh!
Tomorrow will finally be the day when I fix my good laptop. Plus I have on my agenda clothes, laundry, gathering up toxics, but mostly sedentary stuff, cuz I'm gonna get hit BAD...
I can look at the little sore on my thumb, and it tell's me TONNES of things about how well I will be in the near future. I'm pushing it, folks.
But once THAT'S over, I will have much better exertion tolerance, yay!
The weird thing is this: It doesn't matter how much tolerance you build up - how much more activity you can achieve - you still get sick just as often and just as bad - or worse. Manly worse, eventually.
Well, yo, it's time to go back to Philly. I just heard NPR's "World Cafe" playing Bruce Springstein's, "Atlantic City." And I just felt like switching to my Springstein box set, and cranking it. It's Labor Day, I'm high on authentic Irish Whiskey, I accomplished something, and I want to sing! Even though I don't really like Springstein, ha ha. It's just what the lawyers ordered, (inside joke). (Hey, Steve. Where are you? What you up to? You look like the lawyer in "Changing Lanes". BTW - I saw that movie recently on crap TV - pretty good, pretty real, I could relate to both guys - although the all-in-a-day situation was not necessarilly real. But everything is possible. And, PS, thanks to Bob, without which, this box set would not be possible! And Tom, you're married, but why did you disappear, from the clan of the four Rad Irish Lads? And Will, you've always had your sacrosanct head up your butt - how do you like it now, with all your kids? I nevertheless miss you, and all the insane, deluded girls who swirled around us. I wonder about all these people in my past). One thing I like about Springstein, is that most of his songs are easy to play along with on C Major harmonica.
I can't wait to be free.
Why was I drinking beer all my life, when I sing so much better on whiskey?!?!?
END OF NAUGHTY BIT
(Labor Day, 9:pm): Well, I'm never doing THAT again. That whiskey put me through HELL today...
I was listening to a shortwave religious show a minute ago, and people were talking about their and such. It was pretty interesting until some guy popped in and started speaking in tongues and preaching wildly. One guy dreamt of three black clouds, each rising from: Asia, Europe and North Africa, then floating over America and killing people. A woman dreamt that the sky was made of green putty. Another dreamt that there was no more daylight. And one woman spoke of the giant finger of god appearing in Russia, and writing a warning across the sky. But - apparently this wasn't a dream, because the people all agreed that this actually happened in 1986. ....OK.... They also said that some time in the late 1980's, the sky apparently had an earthquake, and sounded like a bowling ball rolling above - and their were weird lights in the sky at about the same time.
Well, it's not a matter of me not believing any of this - and I don't, although the bowling ball thing could have happened - I just find dreams so intriguing. And some religious dreams of apocalypse COULD be true predictors of some disaster, rather than being entirely fabricated by subconscious theology. Plus I like apocalipso music... wut? Um, anyway, here's what I think: The universe is fully composed of magical subatomic quanta, bleeding information to all places all at the same time. We are like victims of Hiroshima, walking around while psychic information from the entire universe shoots right through us like radiation. We are constantly immersed in this instant update of what the universe is all about, what it's up to, what everything else is doing and thinking. If we had paid much attention to this, we would not have been able to function in "real life" on our planet, and we would not have evolved. So, we go about our real world lives, a bit like machines, figuring things out, working on things, going places, predicting things. OCCASIONALLY, we are inspired by the influx of psychic info from the universe. And the main way we tap into this inspiration is through dreams. Dreams, and "god", and creativity even, are ways that the chaotic psychic info meets our structured brains and ideas. Dreams lead us to conform our idea structures, and personalities, better to the meanings currently flying around in the universe. But, enough of that subject.
Chip Brewster, local Ace TV Reporter, says that holidays can make traffic more dangerous: "People make bad and more riskier choices." More riskier? Are we in Kindergarten?
This kid keeps coming by and asking for work. He said he wanted money to buy new shoes for school. The first time he came by, he seemed so exhausted and hot, so I sat down and talked with him for a while. Then I gave him $5 and told him to come back again next week. He showed up yesterday. He said he spent the $5 on food. So I asked him to clear away litter here and in the vacant lot. He did so, although he wasn't thorough, while I decided to prune branches real quick. I gave him $5. He showed up again today, with a friend, and a lawn-mower. This time, they needed money to go the the candy store. There's a candy store? The other, older kid, stood there like he wanted to shoot me if I said no. I said no - and told them I needed to save up my money now. And they both respected this, and seemed to like me. But, they are from one of the worst streets in the city - and if they chat to the wrong folks, I stand the chance of being on the wrong end of a home-invasion.
I will be remembered well. AND, no more CFS...
"Look at me now!" - means: "Hey! I'm so successful!"
"Now look at me." - means: "Woe, I'm in really bad shape, dude."
(Mon 2:pm): I don't like my fridge. The freezer is great - but the fridge below is no cooler than a dewey Irish morning. Consequently, all the containers of the lentil-bean chili which I made a while ago have all gone bad - fermenting like I'm in Mongolia. It only takes a few days and things go bad.
I'm wating for some cookery in the mail, plus 8 LED flashlights - good stuff, on sale.
Speaking of ... I used to wonder why anyone would build a city on top of a mountain. Well, now I believe they knew what they were doing. Safe from uncivilised rabbles and oceanic invaders, in a fairly stable climate, amidst mountain and ocean negative ions, no floods, etc. They sat up there, whittling on blocks of stone all day, and making Panama hats to trade with Pacific ships below. They are still making those hats. Plus they weren't too far away from the giant earth-etchings, which were possibly landing strips for hot air balloons from Egypt, or maybe UFOs... Of all the places on Earth to live, Machu Picchu was one of the smartest. And, unlike coastal city-states that had perished in rising sea levels, tsunamis, hurricanes, and sea quakes, MP was above all that.
My concerns go out to my LJ friends in . I'd hate to see any homes damaged. Boulder is one of those cities I've considered moving to. It is liberal, but conservative Colorado Springs is prettier. But I decided not to move to Colorado, because it is so dry, at times. Dry is not good during global warming. However, I am still open to Grand Junction, which is one of the prettiest areas I've seen, but it looks like it could get hit by a large flash flood. I am also open to Sante Fe and Missoula.
Another city which is wonderful is , New Zealand, where all the buildings are made out of Leggos. Nice location near ocean, lakes, mountains, rainforests. I thought this would be a prime location, with few earthquakes, and it was just now hit by an earthquake. (A 500-year-dormant volcano in Indonesia has erupted, btw). Southernmost Invercargil is another interesting NZ city, made up of lost and forgotten Scottish people. But the wonderful South Island of NZ not only has quakes, but it seems to still have ozone hole issues, so all the people there are turning into African Americans, which would be a lot like my present neighbourhood.
You don't want to go swimming in the Atlantic beaches of , because there's an odd reddish-brown sheen on the water. Best to avoid it, whatever it is. Whatever it is? IT IS BP OIL FROM THE GULF. I've mentioned fish die-offs on the East Coast already, and a fine coating of oil/dispersant is all over beaches of Florida's Gulf coast, (revealed by UV light) - but the corporate media is not reporting these much at all. If there's something weird in NYC, then it's a curiosity story, not connected to BP.
OK - http://www.normangoldman.com yesterday ran a repeat of one of his great shows, where he describes a vast conspiracy-theory scenario which the left should brandish before trembling right-wingers, during the first 1/2 hour of the show. I recommend starting here for the little conspiracy theory tour I am now taking you on...
Next, go to http://www.coasttocoastam.com for last night's show (Mon-tues), wherein, in the 3rd and 4th hour, George Nori interviews a fine, cogent expert on privacy issues, the JFK assassination, banksters theiving on the poor through inflation, etc. This is the very guy, a far-left/right libertarian, who first informed Ron Paul that there is, indeed, no gold in Fort Knox. Ron Paul is now pushing legislation to open up Fort Knox.
Next, in the 2nd(?) hour of today's (Tuesday's) Alex Jones show, Jones aired the audio of his interesting "The Obama Deception" DVD, which is anti-Obama/NWO, but very pro-JFK. Everyone should listen to it, or purchase it, via http://www.infowars.com - and Jones has a You-Tube channel. Alex Jones can also be heard on weeknights on shortwave 4,840 MHz.
Thom Hartmann, national progressive talk show host and writer at Portland's WPOJ, has co-authored a book on the JFK assassination - but there are other writers with supplemental and alternative information. Hartmann is also anti-bankster, anti-Fed, and has written other books like "Screwed", etc.
The widely-popular progressive Ed Schultz (MSNBC) pulls no punches in denouncing corrupt Republican, etc., politicians, but he is not yet extremely deep into conspiracy theory explanations of things. However, he's great, and he asks you to march with him in Washington DC on October 2! Hopefully, he will arranged a cameo by Obama. But, here is the chance to revive Progressive energy and regain momentum so we don't lose Congress to Boner, who has been seen in the beaches off of NYC... If you can, please spread the word! If you can't attend, make a donation! Google: "ONE NATION MARCH". Ed's at http://www.wegoted.com. Laura Flanders will be airing the entire event on Dish, etc., see: http://www.grittv.com
I found a long, simple poem I wrote, called "Oh! Tiger!" - plus a stuffed tiger I slept with - too bad I didn't have these for Ashley when she stayed here. I also found a tiny plastic tiger I once hoped to give her. She loved tigers and sharks and vampires, and yet hated snakes and zombies. I have no idea what that all meant.
(Thurs 9:am): People believe things were so much better in the 50's - I suppose that's one reason why the powers that be are stoking all this racism. I reckon it helps people have more meaning in their lives, to ignore reality, and therefore this is supposed to be good for the economy. I saw a commemorative calendar, featuring historical pictures of this city. There was a picture of a crowd watching a baseball game in the 50's or 40's. They were all just as ugly as the people here today. And believe me, almost everyone here is really ugly. There were plump or chubby people, but not as many gigantic people as there are today. And no 6 year olds with breasts. But there were many freaky-dorky-goony looking people in the pic - mainly clueless women all decked out so hype-librarian that they looked positively garish. But the thing that interested me was that so many people in the pic looked comfortable with their personalities - they dared to have expressions, show their emotions, dawdle about... So many various faces showing various thoughts. Today, at least here, there are mainly two types of emotions which are shown at baseball games: Jackass idiots shouting and being assholes, and the sheep people around them begrudgingly, uncomfortably, laughing along with this bullying behaviour.
I found someone's ancient pair of jeans which had never been used - they are "Levi Moving On" jeans, dark blue, with a fake seam. They actually fit me, so now I have a new pair of jeans, although their embellishments, etc., look old fashioned. I can wear a jacket over them. I THINK they are guys jeans. I found them a few years ago, as well, and they didn't fit because I had a woman's butt.
(Noon): My cookery arrived, and I finally have a frying pan that works. So I made some pancakes - 1/3 cornmeal, 1/3 non-gluten flour mix, 1/3 "Mama's Non-Gluten Scone Mix" - plus appropriate water, oil, salt, & seasonings. They cooked up super fast. Pretty good, but lacking that unique taste of wheat. I'm going to eventually get more buckwheat flour JUST for pancakes, and see how that goes. But these aren't really - pancakes are an invention of the refined-flour 20th Century - these are little bisquits or cakes, like something from the Healthy Hippie Cafe.
I've been low-energy for several days. Wanted to do more yesterday, but only produced 3 bins of recyclables. Once again, the main garbage guys came by first and took away some of my recyclables TO THE DUMP. I'm so tired of life here - of the stupidity. It doesn't matter if it's ON the bins, or you've been putting out SIGNS, or if all the recyclables are in a separate area - the stupidity just continues. Well, my plan was to take my dog for a walk this morning. I took him for a 2-block walk. We turned around homewards when he refused to stop pulling my arm off. And he understood, cuz then his behaviour got better. If I have to give him away, no one will want him if he doesn't learn to walk in a civilised manner. But, after this, my energy level was dropping, with brain problems. I was wiped.
Resting again in bed, the dog barks, someone is knocking on the door. I don't know if it is yet another stupid neighbour complaining, or the police charging me with animal cruelty... I see a white van, and an ugly guy, so I'm thinking it is probably the crazy gay guy for some reason, but no - it's just my cookery and flashlights - light as a feather. I rest for 2 hours, because I am now exhausted. The pots and pans are obviously Chinese - cheap, but they work for me. The frying pan is too small, but eh - I also have my own "wok-on-a-handle", and other cookery. Now I can disgard some heavier, dirty pots. These are more portable, which I like. I could break them like a twig if they offend meh.
This insane economist is screaming and laughing on Newsradio WBBM - he's very astute. Howard....
Many lefties don't understand why most conservatives are jerks, and consequently, idiots. (Or vice versa). Well, for one thing, when the whole country slides backwards - when the economy goes into reverse - and you can manage to salvage, at least, the status quo, a la Obama - that is to say, you prevent the backwards slide - well, then, you're still a Progressive, even though you haven't PROGRESSED anywhere. You've just CONSERVED - you've kept things from COMPLETELY self-destructing. That's if you ARE a Progressive.
But if you are a CONSERVATIVE, not wont to move forward, and everything is sliding backwards, then you have no choice: There is nowhere else for you to go but BACKWARDS. In bad times, conservatives become as far-right as the right-wing RADICALS had been during the boom years. And, SO, moving backwards with a counterproductive economy and SOCIETY, means affiliating with, associating with, making virtual love to, BULLSHIT. Such as racism, destructive austerity measures, "Just say NO to legislation", tax cuts, Xenophobia, anti-jobs, pro-violence talk radio, rule-by-fear, and so forth.
You pull one conservative back with the rip-tide, and they all have to follow. Why? Because they only profit when all of society races to the bottom, (formerly the illusory "top"), and so they obliquely advocate the decline, through so much rhetoric and hypocrisy. They continue trying to collectively out-compete each other to be at the head of the pack, leading the masses to whatever makes the authoritative corporate elites the best profit margin AT THE MOMENT. The moments get briefer, the profits smaller, the absurdity and rhetoric more dangerous... They started a delusion which they are, like dogs, addicted to, though it becomes inattainable - they are cloaser to the goal, they think, than most of the masses who fight to follow them.
This psychology ultimately fuels the rationalisation to inflate the currency, to pay the debt of the elite, while impoverishing the masses.
In a conservative society, people are afraid to move, for fear of being ridiculed. They have seen what ridicule and relentless competition and cruelty and insanity can do. They fear bullies, and so: they choose to side with the bullies. Cowardly mob-psychology - they hide in the rabble, in gated communities. It isn't that conservatives ONLY meanly and rabidly disparage Progressives, or Liberals. They would as quickly turn on their own, and eat each other alive. But their OWN know enough to keep in line, to tow the line, and to join in the mob-behaviour attack against outsiders. The outsiders - the poor, the foreign, the gay, the ethnic, the worker, the sane, the creative, the innovative, the "unreligious" - these are all represented by Progressives, or Liberals, and Progressives have not agreed to goose-step in line! Progressives are seen as immoral idiots who do not understand the evil ways of the world, and therefore, attacking them is fair game - because blaming the victim is fair blame. The attack does not abate, until the Progressive relents or dies. By blaming, blaming, blaming - attacking - warring - blaming others, the conservatives who are pulled backwards into the decline of society, compelled by fear to seek safety in numbers, they mean to externalise the enemy or victim, escape the blame, and escape being attacked themselves. Of course, this way lies mass-death.
That is one reason why they have so vastly attempted to co-opt the energies of a necessary anti-conservative, or Progressive movement, in recent years: So as to divert attention away from the FACT that it has always been THEM who were culpable, in fact. (And, in most cases, they have succeeded in their blameworthy, corrupt campaigns of exploitation, through control of the law and the media, as well as voting machines). Another reason is that they are simply uncreative, other than in Machiavellian propaganda.
I am not saying conservativism is always bad. Some conservative views could have prevented Woodrow Wilson, a naive Liberal, from being co-opted by international bankster-elites. (Great Depression #1 was as much his fault as the fault of the three Republican presidents after him). But, for the most part, especially in the last 30 years of NEOCONSERVATISM, it has been conservatives who have operated to the benefit of these elites, at the expense of progress in society, and in social wealth on the whole, (along with NeoLiberals). AND, it has almost always been the PEOPLE who have pushed for Progressive legislation, in reaction to the injustices of the exploitations, as under FDR. The intelligencia whom they advance, or their advocates, are almost always, unfortunately, corrupted away by the powers that be, by very real threats and rewards incomprehensible to the massively naive.
My dog has learnt to poke his head through the curtains and bark to me whenever the mailman arrives. I get up, and play with him, and get the mail. THIS time, he gave four barks, which is a lot, and he was nippy-rough while playing. Was he telling me that the mailman was NOT stopping at the house this time? Was it all a carb rush from the bits of pancake I gave him an hour before? And, a few minutes later, a little dog up the street was going crazy, which was unusual. So, I don't know what happened. It's times like these when I check the time, and later check the local news for some weird event - often there is coincidence. Or -
I need more rest.
(6:pm): OK - Norman Goldman is describing how both GWB and B.Ladden have been leaches off of each other, feeding the U.S. War Machine, burning holes into our pockets. Likewise, the Islamic protestors overseas and the anti-Moslem protestors over here are feeding off of each other. This is in synch with my thought that not only did GWB, and supporters, do B.Ladden's work for him, by supporting war, fear, economic decline, division, etc., but B.Ladden, of course, has been doing GWB's, etc., work for HIM, since he is basically a functionary of the U.S. See-I-Aye...
, right? Well, the far-right thought that a "mosque on Ground Zero" was WRONG, and so now that the religious threat of Koran-burning has been applied to apparently remove the "mosque", (ALSO a wrong!), then everything will now be all right. But that is so wrong. First of all, there was nothing WRONG with "building a mosque on Ground Zero", i.e., converting a moslem building into a moslem YMCA a few blocks away from GZ. The ACTUAL wrong was BELIEVING IT WAS WRONG - and all the hate, and stupidity, and racism, and superstition BEHIND opposing "the mosque". Instead of dealing with issues like religious freedom, property rights, freedom of speech, freedom to gather, the free market, religious harmony - vs. racism, etc., these issues have been successfully ignored, paved over by the pre-eminent religious tussle - as if the religious tussle was the whole point. But the religious tussle SOLVED NOTHING - nothing has been solved. It has only preserved the chance that similar contests will arise in the future - similar bigotry, etc. It has absolved the bigotry, racism, hatred, etc., behind those events in the future! What we are left with is no resolution, but an insult to our intelligence, a cowing us into little games of religious spite and sanctimony and self-importance as useful tools of dialogue, of thinking, of approaching problems, and life itself. WHAT CRAP. But that's exactly how the greater powers like it. They want us stuck in these little children games.
Well, the thing about this whole burning-Korans issue is that it is totally fabricated. It almost has me convinced that T.Jones is merely a See-I-Aye agent set into action by Obama to get the "mosque" removed from "Ground Zero", without alienating useful anti-Moslemism. If it weren't for the Obama Administration, this would never have been thrust into global media prominance. Look at all the people calling attention to it: Obama, Clinton, Petrayus, Gates, Gibbs - WTF?! It so plays out as a political theatre operation by the See-I-Aye: They call T.Jones into action; Petrayus says the burning "will endanger our troops"; the media and the Administration and T.Jones turn it into a breaking-news gossip-mill; T.Jones finally announces that he won't burn the Koran, since the Imam in NYC has decided to move "the mosque", which he HASN'T decided to do at all; meanwhile the Imam is presented with a buy-out offer by Donald Trump, and Iran releases an imprisoned U.S. hiker. Classic, obvious, and frankly scary that everyone has fallen for it.
We don't even question what the hell Petrayus is doing back in power, spouting such idiotic nonsense, unbecoming for a General, to the press?! We don't even question what this loony religious guy was doing in Germany, and is now in Florida, where most of the other pro-terrorism U.S. covert operations have occurred? - (you need to look into history, etc., to know what I am referring to here). We don't question why this whole Koran-burning issue arose, so close to the mosque issue, which, itself, had a nefarious, dubious, and combustive eruption via Pamela Geller AND WHOM ELSE?!
It's pretty obvious that the Iranian Hostage Crisis, Gun-for-oil, etc., were also fabricated operations - and it is not beyond possibility that 9/11 was concocted to gain GWB political capital, and revenge for his dad. So, it's entirely possible that the mosque/koran episode has been contrived as well. I predicted that T.Jones wouldn't burn the Korans - he's either a nut job or working the media. Listen - I realise that it is possible for none of this to be any kind of political conspiracy. I'm just saying: LOOK AT WHAT IS POSSIBLE, and: The fact is that, while we have been suckered into accepting that such nonsense is NOT conspiracy to the point that we can no longer look at things rationally. The fact is that, if this is "real life" and NOT conspiracy, it is far more ABSURD than any conspiracy explanation. Okham's razor says that CONSPIRACY is the simplest and most likely explanation, i.e., truth. (Whatever, the scheme didn't work, and so, as of Friday, the talking heads are backing this preacher off the air).
(9:pm): Rookie Blue is a good show - although I'm not watching it. I just watched , which was worth watching. It didn't make me laugh out loud until they fell through the wall on top of another couple - then there was the cockroach. At that point, I knew I would be crying in the last 10 minutes of the movie. Yep. I love Britney Murphy (RIP) - I love her clumbsy randomness, and her little squeeks. The movie reminded me of Ashley - we never worked things out, but I believe we tried in our own way. Sad, cuz we were once so happy. I remember watching other romantic comedies together on DVD, via phone.
Post dot dot dot September the Friday, 9:15pm... Most police shows bug the fuck out of me. I become like unto an infertile fruit fly, I does. Please be aware that this post will eventually become very interesting and very important - I guarantee you. However, as is my wont, I begin with the banal, and painfully expand to the universal. The beginning theme of this post is, hitherto and also in addition, "localism".
I had two completely disabled days, weds and thurs. I only managed to place my cooked beets into jars. Of botulism. Today, I managed to get out of the house somewhere around 3:30pm. First, I walked to the bank near my house, and extracted $100. Then I walked to the library, but the library done be closed, on accounta the downtown river festival, I reckon, yup. It's friday - Labor Day is monday, so why are they closed? Because they stupid. (Bear in mind that I am desperate to catch the DAY buses ASAP, cuz they run every 1/2 hour - not every hour). Well, OK, I figure I'll catch a bus to the East Side library, so I walk to the bus station, cuz I know all their downtown routes are changed cuz of the festival. I see the busses all leaving. So I stop by the produce store and drop off a flier. Go back and wait at the station. Bus shows up. I wait for people to get off. Bus driver is yelling, something like, OK - That's looks fine, because look at those idiots on the bus, they are taking for-fucking-ever to get off! And, I'm standing back, waiting for them all to leave. Then I realise, the fucktard is yelling at ME, I mean, come the fuck on, this is getting ridiculous. The last person is off the bus, and he is still yelling at me. And get this: he is the same asswipe who left me in the dust when I went running after him a week or two ago, when I ended up getting a ride from a stranger. So I yell at him, "I was staying off the bus, but I didn't see anyone else getting off!"
Then he says, oh guh, OK get on... So I get on, and he still thinks there's someone else wanting to get off, so I say, "You really should have been yelling, "Get OFF the bus! Get OFF the bus!" And he says that there's some other guy that wants to get off, (before I can get on), and so we both look back there at the seats and the entire bus is empty. So, like, is this some fucking GHOST you are talking about? I make some remark that's it's almost the weekend, therefore... therefore, WHY THE FUCK IS HE ALREADY DRUNK!!!!!!! But, yo, talk about reverse racial profiling... this guy was white, and he was actin like I be a nigga, man. Instead of treating EVERYONE like classy, intelligent, respectful whites, let's treat everyone like idiot crime-sucking niggers, yes, that is the answer. Well, I forgave the guy cuz he obviously has some Alzheimers thing goin on and that is so great for driver competence and the safety of passengers in the future...
Connect this to the little bit I did about the neighbours and the sidewalk in the previous post, and all shall become clear: I need to move.
Well, it turns out that this bus back-tracked off its normal route many blocks, because of the festival, right past the bank near my house, so I lost a half an hour of befuddlement and walking, when I could have just caught an earlier bus at the bank.
I'm running behind, now. It's the 4:15 bus. I have already postponed: 1 - a visit to the disability service; 2 - a stop at an apartment building; 3 - the library - not to mention that I don't even THINK about going to the river festival... I decide to go past Taco Bell, and just go straight to the East Side library, where I seek anything resembling a burrito. Inside is a Meg's coffeee shop. Now, let me diverge real quick...
The only reason the East Side Library has a coffee shop in it is because of me. Not only did I put in an extensive cafe suggestion to the DOWNTOWN library, which receives virtually no suggestions whatsoever, but I was influential with Webs Norman, the head of the Park District, at the same time they were formulating where and how the East Side Library would be built. I was possibly the only "outside" person he told as to where the location would be. It happened to be at a former Starbucks, the central location of my "cafe saga", (sic). And, since Webs was also into cafes, we had both talked about this place, and how, since it was closing, it might make a good library - with a cafe.
The only problem is that, after the cafe saga, - nevermind another Starbucks. And, so, the whole idea of a former Border's/Starbucks being converted into a Library WITH A MEG'S was so intensely bittersweet it took on the flavour of tequila vomit.
But, alas, I relented, and I went into that Meg's in the East Side Library, and requested the plasticised turkey and cheddar sandwich. There was only one girl behind the counter, typical Meg's-cute, a minimum of 5 freckles, and an invitation to gossip-hell - but she was the only one there. She gave my my sandwich, plus a bag of potato chips, which I never requested. Maybe that means LUNCH, I dunno.
So, I snarf half the sandwich, and bring the plate to her counter so she won't have to clean up my table, and say, "Thank you," and it was then that I could see the ever-burning drama rear it's ugly head - the drama of infinite cafe sagas of years gone by, waiting to pounce on it's next victim, over and over and over, until an entire village for Meg's barristas has been successfully developed in the Alps, funded by unassuming dupes like me...
She looked at me, in some acute scorn or disdain or disappointment, perhaps for my not appreciating the free potato chips, eyes cutting intently into mine, or was that...
Or was that some kind of ever-longed-for look of haughty, steamy sexiness - some ultra-hot desire that has disarmed her so that now nothing - not even looks mattered - above the desire of hot sexual union? A look to the kill, to the fight, to the temptation - to the consummation of hot simmering days of summer all gone to naught but ice-cream. Give it to me now, baby, of damn you forever! I dunno. I got the hell outta there fast.
She was pretty cute, girlish - why she be fuckin around in my brain, yo? Cuz, da ting is dis: Me no wanna be in de middle of no schoolgirl yakity yak.
And yet, I am honoured that she feels I am worthy enough to owe her something - seriously, I am. All males are this way. Except, in addition to being a male, I also run into phone-booths and become Superlesbian! Meaning, ain't no schoolgirl gonna mess with me and have any idea of knowin what she be doin, yo.
As she locked up, I raced to get whatever online stuff done that I could. Then I went to the library desk and found out that I owe $20 dollars because i had some CDs overdue by a week, at most. 50 cents per day, per CD. That is INSANE. Today, I saved $15 dollars making a phone purchase of pots and pans, but I also paid another $10 for flashlights, in order to activate the savings. Not a bad deal - but I lose $20 on nothing?!
Then, I walked to the supermarket. First, I went to the bank inside and ordered a new debit card. Then I waited at the customer svc. desk to make a return of geranium oil. Then I shopped - still no Desenex! I walk up to the Polynesian girls counter, but too much business, and I rush away to another eisle. P Girl thinks I'm avoiding her. Lady at next counter is amazingly slow. Stops to help bagger with previous sale while I'm standing there waiting. Minutes counting down - bus will be here IN ONE MINUTE. P Girl is fascinated by my niceness and yet my obvious frustration. She needs to stop staring and making every frickin guy feel like he's so damn special to her. Although, she checked to see if I was jealous, after she talked to this studly tall guy, so, wtf. She has crappy teeth, and I just want it to stop.
Then the nice bagger man wants to talk to me about my dog, "the boss". Why is everyone so queer today? Everybody got somethin to do, but nothin to be, mama.
Finally, the check-out ends, and I talk my cart and run like hell out of there, across the parking lot, to the bus shelter. Made it. Asked lady driver to drop me at eyeglass place. Go to eyeglass place, give them glasses to fix, they demand I get a new prescriptions, I say no fucking way, and tell them to get in touch, while I run to catch next bus - catch it, home. Oh, on the previous bus, some retard told me it was too cold to be wearing shorts, so, "Oh, well, I'm from Wisconsin, see. " So, blow that out you petrified asshole.
It felt so weird and blustery today - like we would have that soon-to-be infamous "Labor Day Tornado", which would not hit the downtown fest, but would come after me, and me alone, and when it snuffed me out, it would disappear, and then, in a hundred years from now, there would be a Paul-Bunyun-like statue of me vanquishing that dreaded tornado, and I would not at all be remembered for my Pseudo-Hispanic Cornbread, made entirely without an iron pan.
Turn on TV. Daughter of Paul Simon comes to town, egads. Local news tells of troubles at public housing, talks head of local public housing district. He is a midget. That is both amusing and amusing to me.
There will come a day when I am required to bring him succulent cowhides.
I just found out that the LD call I made to azurestandard.com to clear up their $200 mistake has cost me $41...! They still haven't cleared it up. And if they CASH that extra $200 check, it will be a $39 overdraft fee for me - plus they never credited $22 they owe me onto my recent order. They say they are switching their software right now. Until they clear it up, I don't want to use my checking account for other things. Plus I wrote a check to someone else on my OTHER checking account, and they still haven't cashed it.