where hypotheses come to die (madman101) wrote,
where hypotheses come to die
madman101

reality

Well, I've been bouncing all around. And today, EVERYONE'S looking at my car and smiling. I guess it's just a fun shopping day for everyone, and they're all in a good mood.

Nice to talk to that lady lady at PetSmart - we live in same neighb.

I'm at Kinko's, 40 cents a minute...

But let's see if I can scan something in here...

......

Dear Doctor Doctor,

I just wanted to fill you in on my health, since we had so little time to talk last time.

As I said, I do have good days, which I relish. However, migraines, deep fatigue, etc. continue. I have had a number of 3 to 5 day long relapses recently, during which there may be an hour or two when I can function. Every relapse is a little different. In addition, almost every morning is a long haul uphill until I can finally get out of bed. If I ever try to be active when my body says it isn’t ready for it, I soon pay with another relapse of fatigue which puts me in bed for another day.

Recently, I was up too late, and the next day I experienced the flashing visual sciata, and other symptoms, due to accumulated “body-tiredness”.

While cigarettes can help the migraines slightly, I suppose by raising blood pressure, they are a net loss, and contribute to the body-tiredness, as well as the typical CFS fatigue. I meant to ask if you might be able to prescribe nicotine pills, to help quit, yet to help w/ migraines.

Also, there has been an increase of the very ominous condition where my head and heart seem to be communicating through some kind of echo chamber, as if I had inhaled a canister of nitrous oxide and it was bouncing around in me. Very hard to describe, but one of my most dreaded symptoms, because I feel like blacking out.

I can’t say that it was the light, during my tanning, which was therapeutic – since I tried it wile having a dark towel over my eyes. I believe it is the very hot sunlight. And it seems that it helps when I sleep while my room is warmed by a space heater.

Other therapy: I have met many people online, and have had the pleasure to “practice” some of the psychology and helping that I value, through this. This activity also allows me to be creative, and creativity is a MAJOR therapy for my CFS. Otherwise, life has been very difficult here in Rockford. Not to mention my siblings hating me, such that I had to call the police on one of them.

I am constantly making mistakes – big and small. My non-profit was dissolved because of my ineptness, and now I’m dealing with re-registering it. I accumulated hundreds of dollars of fees from my bank because of bounced checks – I can’t deal with math. Because I never chose a LOCAL access number for my aol, we ended up receiving a phone bill amounting to over $1000. I was pulled over for DUI, and when I tried to talk, my CFS-garbled mind and speech convinced the police I was drunk. And I am constantly confusing and irritating people, who have no idea how hard I try not to.

However, the error regarding the Student Loan discharge was not mine. I have spoken to Prairie State Legal Services, and they know that this problem has been happening to others. So, they are trying to get it fixed.

I ran out of Synthroid recently, and have discerned that the lack of Synthroid simply gives me a normal, sleepy kind of tired. This tiredness is nothing compared to the very different fatigue(s) of CFS.

I have meaning to tell you these things for a while. Thank you. I hope you enjoy the Holidays,

Sincerely,

madpatient101
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