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MOOSE

SHAME IS THE NAME - (On Being Poisoned to Death...)

Posted on 2010.06.29 at 17:53


Yesterday was more relapse and so was the day before. Maybe cuz I merely trimmed a few branches. Maybe cuz I ate potatoes. It's been taking so long simply to get together my next order from azurestandard.com. My main accomplish yesterday was to make a giant pot of lentil/bean chili. I shall portion this into smaller containers to freeze. Then I use them one at a time, mixing them with a container from the LAST batch, as quality control. And to move inventory. This time, I included 1/2 a red cabbage. I also included beet stalks and juice which have been in the fridge, half-frozen, for months, but which never went mouldy. I'm not sure, but either THAT, or the cabbage, gave it an OLD GARBAGY FOOD taste. But that was drowned out by other additions. Like soy bacon bits, and my flour mix. I'm just wonder, cuz I got a mini-relapse after eating this "chili", if some ancient anaerobic bacteria survived and are trying to hurt me (?) - if so, this will either go on for months, or I will have to throw it all out. But, it tastes good. Nutritious. Other than than, I got some very minor kitchen cleaning done. I really get so sick it is driving me nuts. I seriously can't keep ahead with my basic life stuff. None of my dreams are possible. I'd be happy to be stuck in a mobile home park in West Virginia with a tiny garden for the rest of my life if only I didn't have to suffer this crushing illness, which everyone else uses to think so little of me, because they don't understand or believe it.

I am mainly writing this because I am hoping to get to the library today, and so I should also post something to LJ while there. On Coast-to-Coast last night, some woman was talking about channelling spirits, who illuminated why there has been an epidemic of autism. Her info was extensive, and I have problems with chanelling, but I'm open-minded to her. She says, in her book "Foundation of Discovery", that an underground military city near Hawthorne, NV, has been releasing a toxic powder into the atmosphere, composed of anthrax, radiation, and other chemicals. Hawthorne is where retired chemical and biological weapons have been stored. In FACT, there was a request to burn these weapons and release them into the atmosphere, and this was granted. I'm not sure if it was ever rescinded. But THAT has been going on for years, if it is presently continued, and severe health effects from that are very possible. This woman says that the release of which she speaks has been going on partially since the 1980's, and full-steam by 1996, coinciding with the autism epidemic, which has mostly hit northern states, (downwind). And, she says, the powder is in the soil, making potatoes toxic to eat. Potatoes. Well, I almost always relapse after eating this, one of the best foods ever, but I thought it was the carbs or the spices or possibly some fungus.

I have written before about a white powdery fungus which is becoming more and more common in produce, esp. in potatoes, in my experience. Is there a connection to some military toxin in the soil? A toxin which disturbs bacteria and plant life so that certain fungi are encouraged? I simply don't know. But I do know that fungi are becoming more prevalent and resistant. Fungi are associated both with bat White Nose Syndrome, and bee Colony Collapse Disorder, destroying these crucial species. But my tentative view has been that nicotinoids AND the genetically engineered BT toxin were responsible. (With the addition of cell phone signals, possibly). I suggest you Google these topics.

I have learnt that I am highly reactive to fungi. Although CFS is an immune-sytem OVER-ACTIVATION, it does have some deficiencies, which allow Candida yeast, etc., to spread. Yeast and fungi release toxins like formaldehyde, vinegar, acetaldehyde, ammonia, etc., which can seriously mess with a vulnerable brain. Also, over-abundant immune cytokines also mess with the brains of people with CFS, (includes Gulf War Syndrome, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, Fibromyalgia, and others). But what is triggering the initial immune system disorder, I don't know. However, it is interesting that one of the first acknowledged, and historical, cluster-outbreaks of CFS, was at Lake Tahoe, NV - quite close to Hawthorne - in the 1980's. The whole fungal-ballooning might simply be a function of fundamental immune system disruption of both animal and plant life instigated by such a military toxin, and/or BT, and/or nicotinoids, organophosphates and other pesticides. Gulf War Syndrome also shows potential connection to anthrax, radiation, nerve gas, and anti-nerve-gas injections.

I find MANY similarities between CFS and autism. Also MS. (And this includes frequent presentation of psychic-type abilities). CFS, however, shows more pain. These illnesses should all be studied in correlation. And, like Mad Cow Disease, the genetic versions need to be held separate from the environmentally-triggered versions.

Plant and animal life has been struggling to edge ahead of FUNGI for a billion years. Now, as in the Gulf, our irresponsible hubris is moving us back again, rapidly. At lightening speed. And the dolphins know this. Animals who rebel against us know this. Autistic children who swim with dolphins, who sense only the wisdom and love, they know this. And they also rebel.

"Little brats!" - Michael Savage.

And what do the dolphins say? What do the dolphins, who have radio talk shows with millions of listeners, say? Who cares what the dolphins say? Who cares what the pelicans say? Who cares about the plankton? Since they are being suffocated in the Gulf; since their cousin whales are being BLOWN UP in the Gulf; since the turtles are being deliberated incinerated instead of cleaned and rescued, while nests and eggs are trampled and treated as a game, well then, we deem them SOULESS, ex post facto. Since we watch them die, they are mortal, unintelligent and less than divine.

But dolphins have been around so many millions of years longer than we have. We've been around, arguably, 200,000 years. Until we found technology, with cumulative advantages over generations, we were up shit creek - and for this small modicum of smarts, we think we are smarter, more conscious than all other creatures? Did you build your own cell-phone? Did you gather all the materials for the house around you? Did you invent fire? No! Do you have any idea what you are doing in the deep-ocean Gulf, or how the 80,000 untested chemicals allowed by your "safety-conscious" government will affect life, as they combine and combust? Do you have any idea where my shoes are? No, you do not. A dolphin would know where my shoes are. I think they're in the hall...

Look at us, draped in labarynthian protections of technology, law, theory, gossip, religion, guns. Since the animals die, and cannot invade, we think ourselves divine. Whilst we render ourselves soon extinct. Of all this conspiracy, so brief, so illusory, we squabble over the apparent infinite legal rights of some imaginary INVISIBLE HAND OF THE MARKETPLACE?! Idiots!

Compare dolphins and humans. They are naked. Their brains are larger than ours. They can sleep while also awake. They can communicate intricately across very long distances without needing cellphones. They can clearly communicate psychically. They are wise. And, until only recently, they have been free - able to live their lives in oceans full of danger, over millions and millions of years, COMPLETELY NAKED AND TOOLESS. Can we, with our intelligence, do anything so astonishing? Don't tell me dolphins are not intelligent! And humans... Our one saving grace is compassion, and this, we have allowed to be shorn by every possible means and manner of making a profit, or controlling each other, or devouring the land.

(the next day, Tuesday, noonish): I was knocked down by more crushing CFS torture for the remainder of yesterday. Excruciating pain - no one sees it... Trying to recover this morning, but even though I make progress, I have the dreaded, deep disequilibrium or whatever it might be called. Because of all this, I lost track of this post's thoughts, etc. The slightest stresses, exertions and diminished deep sleep have left me frayed, and prey to the whole fungi thing. And, ya wouldn't think it, but merely people being craps is enough to bring me incessant pain. People who breach agreements; people who seek advantage over one; people who take one for a joke; people who don't listen; people who disrespect; people who reinterpret illness as character flaws, etc. (As a result of some of this, I will now be referring to "the gardens guy" as Super Creep). And, of course, other stressors, like tinctures of sugar, alcohol, caffeine, etc. The effects are absurdly cumulative and long-term, requiring absolute and constant discipline to eventually achieve just a little recovery.

I'll try to pick this up. The nature of the human ape is to be on the take. And when there is nothing to take but dignity, dignity is taken with the greatest relish. A perpetual squabble ensues, and is represented by claims on property, acquisition of meaningless objects, like golden chickens, and eggs, and chickens, and eggs. But the main thing, best learnt through the urban ethic of assumed scarcity - through declining civilisations, where "no" morphs into "yes" and back again, and all reason goes subsequently warped - is to seek control before becoming controlled, whether or not the danger of the latter actually exists. In fact, this is often a rebellion against the control one has sheepishly given oneself over to, so as to legitimise oneself in the society, such as by working 9-5 at a very boring, pointless job, and yet kissing the bosses' ass in a conspiracy to legitimise the corporate or government's absurd or immoral mission. When the whole structure of society is absurd, then, basically, ALL jobs become boring and stupid, and therefore controlling. And, all jobs will be sought to be rendered so, just as all people with be sought to be rendered illigitimate or impertinent, though a few - a minority - the weak - may not be.

When it comes to being backwards, this city is always ahead of the curve. So, many of my examples come straight from personal experience here. E.g., the wonderful city clean-up crew exists to help out disadvantaged people by mowing their lawns, clearing weeds, etc. So, of course, they rake away all the wonderful organic matter away from hungry plants, rip away your Boston Ivy cuz it's apparently a weed, and so forth. But, it is a basically good thing. However, many times I requested that they call ahead, and NOT in the mornings, since that is when my attempts to gain energy and wellness are completely make-or-break. But as soon as they know me as a person, as soon as they are on friendly terms with me, as soon as they know I prolly won't get their ass kicked, what is it they say to each other? "I'M not going call first. I'M not going to wait till afternoon. What a jerk! He should be happy, at least, we're helping him. We'll just do it the way we're going to do it..." And so, after this oh-so-unique and original informal banter, they go out of their way to NOT do it "the way they do it", but OPPOSITE to the way I requested. Likewise, I asked Super Creep not to disturb me in the mornings, because I am so often frayed or ill, and very soon he is knocking on my door, asking for things. This passive aggression, which is absolutely PATHOLOGICAL in this town, which is based on the whole paranoid control game, and which is universally stacked against the disadvantaged, is one reason why societies become dysfunctional, the trains fail to run on time, and fascists or tyrants are finally brought in TO CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF THE SOCIETY.

Such games show themselves as absolute Catch-22's to the poor - similar to how Latin American countries have been destroyed by the Vice of U.S terms of trade, corporate control, and military force - wherein: "Either you choose the first terrible choice, and lose you your dignity and control, or you choose the only other terrible choice, and lose you your dignity and control - and in both cases, you will be made even more hungry". But it is worded differently, "Love our mission, or reap the consequences of your evilness." And, we the famous people, find ourselves in the same Catch-22 Vice, having to choose between crappy candidate A or crappy candidate B, both who kiss the ass of oily Banksters who have everything to gain from impoverishing us all. Meanwhile, those at the top are allowed a moralism completely opposite to the Catch-22 Vice of control, which is: "Heads I win, tails you lose!" Witness: the vast trillions of credit default swaps, insuring for failure, naked short-selling, betting on the loser and shooting him in the knee, a.k.a., the Greek/Eurpean credit crisis. Factoring in pervasive destruction, and DECLINE, into the G.D.P., and rewarding Wall Street for the "increased economic activity". Witness: The BP oil disaster, clean-up, insurance, etc.

The flight of trust. The conspiracy against trustworthiness. The attack upon dignity. Against ONE'S WORD... And so, the failure of credit - and then of currency. And then, soon enough, the failure of food... What happens, then, when everyone in a failing society is on the take, out to deny dignity, and while even the former hierarchy of control is crumbling... Yet, when everyone is keyed in to each other with cell phones and computers, and the traditional bolsterers of control are simply too slow to be of any effect? And when the whole society is simply DIFFUSE with this pathological word-game of take-and-break, which is not really controlling well at all? Well, then, the whole thing collapses en masse upon the neuveaux poor. In one fell swoop, a great mass of the now-disadvantaged is pilloried and pilfered, and eventually hung, by the mob. The mob from the left. The mob from the right. Both: pawns of the apolitical elite. The Vice closes upon the entire society, and everyone rushes to blame the weak. As programmed.

Words: "Truth". Tru-ith, as in Though. Truth is that which takes us through the trees. Like vita, the via. The way. Do not falter. "False". Falls off. That which is false has us, woops, falling off a cliff. It fells the trees. There they lie, fallen. A "lie". To lie. To stop and just lie there. It takes us nowhere. It is a parody of true life. It is life with no gain. It is life not worth the fuck.

When "no" substitutes for "yes" and "yes" for "no", then all of life becomes a lie. You may spend your time trying to fuck it, and fucking with it, but it bears no offspring, no truth. No future. You can play this crazy passive-aggressive control game all you want, but it will bring you nothing but the jaws of the Vice suddenly crunching down upon you. In hell will be your only healing. With the lot mankind, you are rendered, like Jews, into oil.

So, we tend to be on the make for the take. Our entire civilisation is based on rape. The definition of rape: To deny dignity and obtain easy access. To smash and grab. Looting, through money, or words, or force. To most of our minds, most of science, to KNOW something is to NO something. To know is to DENY. To be smart, so it believed, is to be able to swiftly come up for a negation for every point presented. To disprove. To reject. To cast out. We "prove" our theories by rejecting as many other possibilities as we can imagine. There are sociopaths, very welcomed in society, who traipse and tandem randomly about, simply saying "NO" to everything said to them, through one flourish or another. And all are amazed and in awe. The masses elect these pathological contrarians to positions of authority, where they use their reactionary wit to promote one ideology or another, left or right. Posit or opposite. Yet no one seems wise enough to consider the possibility that these habitual psychopants seem so clever simply because they are so vastly selfish. They are so esteemed BECAUSE they so crave DENIAL. And they so deny because they so infinitely DESIRE. And what is desire when all is a lie? It is the lust for POWER. It is the tempting of death. It is the fall of Empire.

In the vast game of passive-aggressive control pathology, the object is to KNOW more, that the result may be that DIGNITY is the more DENIED. There is no real search for TRUTH here, there is only an addiction to subject all else to one's private, hidden purposes. The WILL TO POWER. The game is to expose the weakness in others, to prey upon it, to advertise it. To hold it like a fish while one's picture is taken. The game, is prey. The game is say: "Worship our purpose, or be killed for your Evilness." It is a religious undertaking. To usher off the weak into one's own ideas of truth, Heaven, or one's own idea of Fall-ability, persecution. When the weak, or disadvantaged, or poor, are so easilly prey, so easilly caught in the Catch-22 Vice, ("either participate or lose your land"), then they are selectively blamed. They are so often, by the "game", rationalised as "Evil", and therefore persecutable, because THEY ARE NOT OF THE GAME. Rather, they tend to call into question, by their mere existence, every action and player in the game, where all is fundamentally a lie, calling itself the truth. Fundamentally a play for power cloaked in a rhetorical self-delusion of false compassion. Fundamentally a WEAKNESS gilded in the propaganda of false promises and abuse. The weak, "we mean, THE EVIL", must be stopped at all costs. There is no benzene-laced dispersant to hide them from our incessant denial. It is only the "stronger" who are glorified in the game. And since this only gives advantage to those at the top, and disenfranchises the lower-rank ass-kissers in the game, then the game is doomed to fall apart and leave nothing but a tyrant, making prey of the game, and making worshippers of all those now prostrating themselves towards his chosen religion, be it left or right, communist or libertarian, atheist or theist. Let us pray.

Disguised in Reason, we take by forth, and cowardice. Feigning unselfishness, we occupy premises through greed. Or elevate greed to a cold and distant divinity. Whereas TRUTH once took us through the forest, now a BULLET runs Tru-ith. And the taking from the poor, the disadvantaged, the weak – this is all done by acts of cowardice. For the weak are painted as committing the very sins of the strong – the poor, as the rich… And so, instead of boldly attacking the giant corporations which suck the blood out of democracy, it is unfortunate neighbours and aliens who are judged to by feeding off the poor, participating in Gentrification, luxuriating on unemployment checks, "taking our jobs" – which have actually been sent overseas… The weak at the bottom are made targets of, considered strong, threatening, dangerous, etc.: the very embodiment of inhumane corporate rapists – or even of the rapacious middle class. In reality, it is they who struggle the most, who pay the most, who suffer the most, to stay in the game and have themselves a mere morsel of peace and quiet, a mere parcel of land, a mere ounce of dignity and self-respect. They can’t win for losing, caught in a C-22 conspiracy of cowardice. Let them eat cake, and God sort out the rest…

When the Europeans pushed into North America, land was basically free. The aboriginals were branded as savages as soon as they were no longer needed as helpmates. The land was mapped by our KNOWLEDGE, and now the Europeans somehow were able to DENY them and thus call the land their OWN. Dignity was denied, and resources became, essentially, free. Wildlife was rendered asunder. And so it went in the search for other resources and markets. Always negating other owners and relationships, and thus acquiring the resource for free. National Parks and private properties in the West were raped, by government's permission, so that miners could reap minerals and oil FOR FREE, and sell it at a huge profit. These parasitic corporations grew "too big to fail" and were not only bailed out, for free, but were given the status of PERSONHOOD, that they may do and say whatever they want FOR FREE, relative to any individual. The future of all of western capitalism rests upon this impossible basis of everything being fundamentally free for the taking. The whole system is rigged on that premise. To bolster the structure of extraction, there are economies of scale, economies of trade, economies of conversion rates, of interest rates, or devaluation, of insurance risks - and infinite freedom for the people at the very top, those who own the corporations.

But communism is no different. It looks at what is owned, provides it's own anti-capitalist rationalisations, and proceeds to deny dignity and so TAKE FOR FREE whatever property or resource or land it so desires. And anarchists assume that, because of the ownership pathology of these behemoths, that everything IS NATURALLY FREE AND FOR THE TAKING. Libertarians, though they may believe that man is basically evil, believe that we should be freed from all self-government, and somehow everyone will be capable of operating freely and efficiently, BASED ON THE IDEA THAT THEY ARE OWED FREE ACCESS TO THINGS, when in fact it is the megalithic corporations which rise up to quash their liberty.

And everybody in this primate game, what do they do, while assuming the RIGHT to take what is useful to their own purposes, and leaving what is LEFT to lie lifeless in a cleared forest or rotten-egg-smelling ocean? What do they all do whilst on the take and making, and what do they do all at once, when there is nothing else to take? When there is nothing left to steal from the weak amongst them, and nary a shred of dignity standing tall for as far as the EYE can venture?

They fall upon all other species. Here, they have been squabbling away for millenia over prices and theories and rights and so on, not realising that what they really were doing was pulling the very planet out from under their feet.

Accomplished.



Ganglords - by Morrissey

Ganglord, the police are
Kicking their way into my house
And haunting me, taunting me
Wanting me to break their laws

Ganglord, the police are
Kicking their way into my house
And haunting me, taunting me
Wanting me to break their laws

And I'm turning to you,
Oh, to save me...
And I'm turning to you,
Oh, to save me...

Ganglord, the police are
Grinding me into the ground
The headless pack are back
Small boy jokes and loaded guns

Ganglord, the police are
Grinding me into the ground
The headless pack are back
Small boy jokes and loaded guns

And I'm turning to you, to save me...
And I'm turning to you,
Oh, to save me! Save me...
To save me, save me, to save me!

Gandlord, there's a clock on the wall
Making fun of us all

Ganglord, there's a clock on the wall
And it makes a joke of us all

And I'm turning to you, to save me...
And I'm turning to you, to save me, save me...
To save me, save me, to save me!

Ganglord, remember!
The police can always be bribed...

Ganglord, remember!
The police can always be bribed...

They say 'to protect and to serve'
But what they really want to say is:
"Get back to the ghetto! The ghetto!
Get yourself back to the ghetto!
The ghetto! The ghetto!
Get yourself back to the ghetto!
The ghetto! The ghetto!"

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