1 - Hunt down Dimitrius The Hedgehog.
2 - Smash a mayonaise-filled pumpkin.
3 - Become more grasshopper-like.
4 - Find out who's living under this couch.
5 - Punch Tom Cruise in the face.
6 - Become Christian Scientist.
7 - Invent God - also: additive-free Pringles.
8 - Show more respect to alien invaders.
9 - Wear shorter skirts.
10- Achieve fame by being mentioned in Nick DiGilio's "Drunks: In The News!"
11- Tattoo a Spice Girl on my arm and get into clubs for free.
12- Get the damn Communists out of my computer, cook them up with chives, and send them to
relatives.
13- Rethink my role in "Avatar II: The Hal Sparks Story".
14- Weave a basket larger than my house and float away to Peoria.
15- Donate past girlfriends to mental-health research.
16- Fix the spigot in my middle ear.
17- Appear in public.
18- Smear meat all over Robyn Williams and Don Rickles and watch them eat each other.
19- Demand airtime from Conan O'Brien the next time we have sex.
20- Stop cracking my knuckles in the confessional.
21- Stop swinging on telephone lines to irritate my neighbours.
22- Invite the voices to breakfast.
23- Don't send out any more Christmas Cards with pictures of Tiger Woods on them.
24- Don't worry about all of the above just get my damned car fixed.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/82/Correa-Martians_vs._Thunder_Child.jpg/150px-Correa-Martians_vs._Thunder_Child.jpg
Wear lots of red underwear! It's supposedly GOOD LUCK for the New Year. (I always thought you were supposed to wear raw eggs on your head).
