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* - galaxy

night of the living hoo hah

Posted on 2009.11.18 at 00:26
I'm just shooting in and out real fast...

I made some imitation cheddar cheese. It's not too bad. Nor is it cheese. I wanted to have soft RICE as part of the base, but the other part, the dreaded CORNMEAL, took over. Now, I can hear you radical OATS people: yelling that I should have used oats, but I don't think you people ever KNOW what you're talking about. You and your damned commercials.

One problem with EATING OUT is that the food in your fridge gets older. Microscopic beings frump and frolic from microscopic room to microscopic room. And then, if you then have to be sick for a day or two afterwards, your food gets MORE older. You could have a five gallon bucket of soup in there, and you don't know if one day soon it will greet you as ODIOUS SEWAGE. You don't know if that raw chicken in there, waiting to be boiled for the blabbing dog, will suddenly reach out and grab your heart and haul you away to some putrid HELL!

You just don't know. You don't remember. Shopping is all a distant dream. Now you're alone. Just you and this rising tidal wave of FOOD RESPONSIBILITIES! You will be called to cook at lightning speed! To cull and prune and throw half of everything away. To clean and toss and wrap and scrub and eat and eat AND EAT!!!! 'Til you're sick!

And all of your diligent shopping - where has it gotten you now? LOOK at you! Impoverished! Pleading! Licking boots in the gutter! Smiling up at me with a quivering globe of a face. Slivering away from your own FILTHY THROBBING LAIR like a desperate worm from a rotting apple, cowering amongst men and homebodies like the serpent himself! Bob! Bob the serpent... Lives down the road. Always has a pleasant word. Never thought he'd kill those tourists. Such a shame. Such a shame. *Close with dramatic music* huh?

So,what I mean to say is: I never did get around to doing much serious cooking today or yesterday. Mostly what I did was lie in bed and devise this complex friends-filter system for my LJ - which will be fun for you, cuz you'll get to take this fun quiz, (LJ poll). But another thing I did was have these half-assed thoughts:

Actually, my left hemisphere is too sore for this... More later. *night*

Comments:


kelseyinked
kelseyinked at 2009-11-18 05:43 (UTC) (Lien)
Alright there, random one. I never cook, more so because I suck at it than because I'm lazy. I've never even considered making cheese but that sounds interesting... Why cornmeal over oats? Besides oats people really not knowing what they're talking about and all..
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2009-11-18 05:51 (UTC) (Lien)
god i LOVE fast comments!

well - oats would not work as fake cheese - they have a dumpy taste to them that screws some things up - but cornmeal works cuz corn and cheese tastes go well together, esp. if you use the fake cheese for mexican things like mini-burritos

the main prob w/ cornmeal is it's stupid grittiness fuck you cornmeal!

ha! thanks... :)
kelseyinked
kelseyinked at 2009-11-18 06:54 (UTC) (Lien)
Ohhhh, so, oats basically suck. Good information to have if I ever try and make fake cheese.

where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2009-11-20 16:34 (UTC) (Lien)
oh no no no! oats ROCK! (esp. lumpy oats). they are are great food - super healthy - and a fine additive, for fake meat, for example, or dog food, or even cornbread or stuffing in moderation

but many times you can't use oats cuz that dumpiness can become too much for the taste or consistency that you seek to perfect
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