I am the person who will destroy China. (madman101) wrote,
I am the person who will destroy China.

night of the living hoo hah

I'm just shooting in and out real fast...

I made some imitation cheddar cheese. It's not too bad. Nor is it cheese. I wanted to have soft RICE as part of the base, but the other part, the dreaded CORNMEAL, took over. Now, I can hear you radical OATS people: yelling that I should have used oats, but I don't think you people ever KNOW what you're talking about. You and your damned commercials.

One problem with EATING OUT is that the food in your fridge gets older. Microscopic beings frump and frolic from microscopic room to microscopic room. And then, if you then have to be sick for a day or two afterwards, your food gets MORE older. You could have a five gallon bucket of soup in there, and you don't know if one day soon it will greet you as ODIOUS SEWAGE. You don't know if that raw chicken in there, waiting to be boiled for the blabbing dog, will suddenly reach out and grab your heart and haul you away to some putrid HELL!

You just don't know. You don't remember. Shopping is all a distant dream. Now you're alone. Just you and this rising tidal wave of FOOD RESPONSIBILITIES! You will be called to cook at lightning speed! To cull and prune and throw half of everything away. To clean and toss and wrap and scrub and eat and eat AND EAT!!!! 'Til you're sick!

And all of your diligent shopping - where has it gotten you now? LOOK at you! Impoverished! Pleading! Licking boots in the gutter! Smiling up at me with a quivering globe of a face. Slivering away from your own FILTHY THROBBING LAIR like a desperate worm from a rotting apple, cowering amongst men and homebodies like the serpent himself! Bob! Bob the serpent... Lives down the road. Always has a pleasant word. Never thought he'd kill those tourists. Such a shame. Such a shame. *Close with dramatic music* huh?

So,what I mean to say is: I never did get around to doing much serious cooking today or yesterday. Mostly what I did was lie in bed and devise this complex friends-filter system for my LJ - which will be fun for you, cuz you'll get to take this fun quiz, (LJ poll). But another thing I did was have these half-assed thoughts:

Actually, my left hemisphere is too sore for this... More later. *night*

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