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* - galaxy

THE BEST POST EVER! - seriously

Posted on 2009.04.17 at 17:02



4-7-09 (last fri) noon
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day after day, I think the next will be the day I feel good enough to accomplish things, but it ends up being crap again. so, yesterday, even though I was simply EXTREMELY TIRED, I thought I might finally be able to fix a computer to get me on line. I spent 12 hours with hard drives and disks and CD players and motherboards and changing those tiny little i/o connectors with tweezers. insane - made only enough progress to keep me failing. I just want to be FREE! Brain says, "No, you can't." But at least I learned - or relearned - a few things. The biggest problem, (besides fucked up hard drives), I am having is, yes, I can access 4 drives on one computer, but how can I delegate one drive as, e.g., DRIVE 'D' - otherwise I can only go from A to C, and can't load, etc., from OTHER drives to drives. Anybody know? Maybe it's just the old IBM I'm currently using. Anyway, the good news is that I found my Windows 98 CD, which is better than nothing. And if I take my XP CD in for repair (necessary??), I might actually make some REAL progress.
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while doing that, I made some pretty good lentile soup, which is rather like chili, which includes other beans and etc. a whole schlep of it. whatever that means. and, partly thanks to the extra-chemical-free cigs I am smoking now, I feel better today, and am going to buy some ribs, etc., for Kurska. then come home and do the computer thing again all night. I want to get to the point where I have time to give Kurska regular walks, but argh.
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weds 4-8-09 noonish
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it's hard to believe that I'm actually saving money. I should be off buying silver or gold soon. but I also have a few other things I'd like to get around to, like repairing my PayPal account, buying a computer hard drive, and I just now realize I need an awesome new cassette tape player - but I need to find a SPECIAL one. otherwise my system will reject it. and I hear they now have HD CD's - will I have to replace all my CD players and CD drives?! . I had another ill day yesterday, but I think I'm good today, and now, of course, I want to write a book. I think I want you to help me write it. it's a funny and dire retrospective of the 21st century, with prospects of becoming a TV sitcom. Crappy Days.
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TRENDS on the scanner... it started with guys showing up where they shouldn't be. then there surfaced a LOT of fiery lungs and difficulty breathing - either panic attacks or the virus that killed those chimps in Chimpcago. there has been a LOT of vandalism and people shooting bullets or BBs or bricks through windows, which concerns me. and there have also been a LOT of suicide attempts, many of them drunken. some lady walked up to a truck or something and asked them to take her to a place to die. so... NATIONALLY: we have displaced males flying planes over boarders, and people killing cops and others. what do most of the latter have in common? interestingly, they arose from family issues, and ended in indiscriminate killing. and, many of them are by Appalachians who voted against Hillary and Barack, and who, in their surprised defeat, have flung fully into suicidal survivalism, under the impression that Obama will take away their guns. Contrary to news reports, now retracted, they were not following any call for violence by ALEX JONES. He is actually a nuanced radical, who does not advocate violence, but does TALK of secession, and of Obama taking away guns. One group accusing him of inciting violence is MEDIAMATTERS.COM,
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///////OUT OF DATE/////who will be featured on STEPHANY MILLER's talk show tomorrow morning - this will be an interesting interview, and part of a political/historical PIVOT which is beginning to happen - therefore, it is really worth listening to.
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2:15 - woops - I just had a small CFS crash. I often get these 5-6 hours after I eat the wrong thing, including wheat. but IT WAS A GOOD SANDWICH! so I will tell you how: two big slices of 12-grain bread, toasted medium-light. fair sprinkle of salt, garlic, oregano and parsley on up-sides of both pieces. a fair-to-goodly amount of shredded mozzarella spread on one, and shredded Mexican on the other. a little not-cool V8 over each (a circle on one, a large dot on the other). two fresh/uncooked medium-large mushrooms, sliced, on both pieces (about 6 slices each). a wee bit more salt. place both sides up in toaster oven at about 325 for I don't know 5 or ten minutes - so cheese mostly melts. combine both halves and eat. make another one because you will want one. also, a new treat for doggie: warm one LARGE hotdog, pref. turkey/cheese. "drill" a hole down through the long middle, all the way - (do this before or after warming). now, firmly holding hotdog, insert one of those long skinny "jerky-type" dog treats, and finish cooking hot dog. cool and feed to barking animal. may also be coated with gravy or cheese or such. my dog LOVES tomato sauce, but I avoid giving her pasta/spaghetti sauce or ketchup because these contain sugar or corn syrup.
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well - note - I have a growing theory that the crazy gay guy on the corner is responsible for throwing the crap, etc., in my yard; my slashed tires, and the garage fires. and yo, a half an hour after a garage fire which just happened, I see him walking weirdly home from that direction. he never walks. it will be a fine day when I catch him.
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weird things happen. sometimes I think it might just be me, sometimes I think it is Karma or synchronicity; sometimes I think it is people trying to cultivate paranoia. god knows, they like to do that here, because they spend the rest of their time being spineless gossips. but I also maintain that everything is an omen or signal from the universe. puzzles to solve - to separate the rational from the mystical - but it never ends, it is a lifelong, infinite pursuit. the more you key into it, the more profound/silly it gets. this is life: the tragedy which reveals, the comedy which explains. I clean poop, and then there is someone else's poop in my back yard. I put out trash, and then there is someone else's trash. I close my eyes and rest on the bus, and suddenly some guy is suddenly across from me, closing his eyes and resting. to mock, to take, to connect in any perverse way. I buy Dundee's Pale Ale from the nice girl at the drugstore, but cease going there because the Pharmacist was insulting, and I start buying my beer at another store. I find, tucked away, set apart from all the millions of other brands of beer, a six-pack of Dundee's Pale Ale sitting on the floor, waiting for me. who did that?! how far does gossip go? and how far coincidence? and how far the private mimicry, jealousy or retaliation which is the basis of all mob psychology? and is it nothing more than the synchronized turns and waves of a flock of sparrows or a school of herring? it bothers me to be amongst people these days. you will see it if you begin to self-motivate, to self-actualize - you will see that you become a magnet for society's determination to create its lowest common denominators. when you become an aware pawn - a pawning-off - of a superconducting pattern of sin and longing amid the unaware. you will see two people talking, and the greater of the authorities makes a dumb fumble, a verbal mistake - and within 30 seconds, the lesser one will make a similar class of mistake - and this will reverberate through the day, from person to person, country to country, rather like the ephemerance of the stock market. and our great gambles turn to snakes which bite us, 'til we end wallowing in torment, in synchrony. it makes my spine crawl. the fashion of the times. the dust in the air.
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news-flash from the future: After hundreds of thousands of people protest in the streets of London, San Francisco, Beijing... shouting, "Get rid of MONEY! It means NOTHING!", the G20 decided today to accept a new, common denomination of currency. and they called this new currency, "The Gossip". For they had everything else, but the oil to grease their squeaky wheels.
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or another chance omen from the gods. if it weren't for chance there'd be no second chance. or need for trust.
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encounters: I stop to talk to a lady who is the head of the neighbourhood association, who is out gardening. at the end, she asks me to vote for her husband who is running for Alderman, and whose signs are posted everywhere. I jokingly agree. the next day, I meet some older black neighbour-guys and we exchange beers. one asks me what do I know about this white guy running for Alderman. I said "Nothing," other than he's that lady's husband. Last night, that guy lost - but by so few votes, he might have won if I had had the druthers to support him. And then what? Wouldn't I be better off in my neighbourhood, since his wife likes me, and listens to me? perhaps not - for as Kurska and I sat on our front porch last night, I see a big new white pick-up slowly driving up that lady's driveway, parking for the night - it was probably him, the candidate. and his truck bore every resemblance to that of a guy I once, by chance, thoroughly pissed off. and who, to my small mind, seems an existence which brings more harm than good. such is the tendency of white guys who drive big white vehicles around here.
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7:30pm - woops - a BIG CFS crash... to continue:
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it was me and Kurska, sitting in our enclosed porch, behind the many venetian blinds I had once installed, invisible to all. yet not a car or trunk to be seen. silence for once. strangely, Kurska has the hiccups. eventually, they begin to fade, while, from somewhere outside, the hiccups resume. someone out there now has Kurska's hiccups. "go potty" says a voice. to his little doggie. "princess". some new NORMAL guy in the neighbourhood, or just one of the many assholes who have yelled at me for no reason? who says, "go potty"?
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now here's something. Kurska normally eats a LOT LESS when spring begins. I no longer get mad at her for not eating her dinner - but I also can't give her snacks. but how much is her springtime diet due to the increasing sunlight, and how much is due to me telling her she is getting fat? I never considered the latter, but yes, I tell her she is too fat, and I think she worries about it like a girlfriend. ha! how serious am I - wonder? I have told her that her toenails are too long, and I know she knows what I mean. she'll kiss my glasses, and I'll say, "you kissed my glasses!" half an hour later, and she'll know exactly what I'm referring to. so why is it so strange to think that she worries about me thinking she's fat? or else she fears I am trying to poison her. in any case, she wouldn't eat for two days - and yesterday she lay down beside me on the couch, between me and the back, with her head up to mine, nose to nose. while I pet her, she wagged her tail lovingly. I guess she needed that moment of intimacy and reassurance to lift her spirits, so off she went and ate her full dinner. saying to herself, like a girlfriend getting a box of chocolates, "He loves me so much he doesn't even CARE if I get fat!"
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or else, "The food really ISN'T poisoned! yay!"
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And then she came back in, jumped on the couch, and made indications that she had ACTUALLY EATEN HER DINNER! waiting for me to say, my saying, "Kurska!!! You ate your WHOLE DINNA!!!" but I missed interpreting her now, until later, and finally shouted the congratulations, and she knew exactly what I was referring to... Poisoning her, of course.
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gf in a coma, I know, I know, it's serious...
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8:30pm - woops - necessary rest.... how many more before the long, long sleep?
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back to trends: SCAN-HER. in the last 24 hours, there have been at least 3 sore shoulder/arms, coupled with trouble breathing. and at least two large girl fights. and all at once there was a 16 year old girl runaway, a 20 year old in her car, evading the police, and a girl beaten by her stepdad. (I think the latter could be the girl I double-saw on bus a while back - posted - because near where she got off - and she looked the part - "stepchild, you have outlived your time"). it starts with the girls, the canaries, then the family troubles increase, and then, and then we have suicidal survivalists making national news. O, killer moon.
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NATIONAL: I wondered about the Turkish Canadian flying his plane down to Missouri. was it a false-flag, some event set up by some devious US military men or politicians? why? were they devising a plot against Obama, showing that terrorists could get in, with him not watching - and was this plot foiled by PROPER military planes actually tracking him? or was it just a fool's mistake? or was it another signal from the gods? from the wonders and beauty of chaos? remember the cougars who roamed into Chicago? remember I said that they portended warning? they did, didn't they? look at what has come out of Chicago. Blagojevich! look what has come out of Chicago soon after the sighting of a UFO over O’Hare Airport. Obama! and look what happened after the UFOs tantalized the Crawford, TX Ranch - George Bush decided not to go into Georgia. The whole story of UFOs acting as Omens is a long and fascinating one, enough for a book. And why do crop circles populating wheat fields? laying their symbolic droppings as if to say: "Beware the day your grain fields vanish!" and they can only speak in complex symbolism, the simplest of which we cannot understand, such as a map of Phi. And why are cattle strangely mutilated beyond explanation, perhaps to warn, "Beware your reproducing meat, which is fast intensifying global warming!" And why these UFOs, always here and yet not, always as if halfway poking in from an alternate, unfathomable dimension? Unable to be fully real to our world, but screaming through the dust of chaos, "Beware!" Not checked by a galactic Prime Directive, or a humane sensitivity, but by the weirdness of nature itself. And we are left bustling away in our own billiard ball, mechanical life, only able to half-see in silent moments, and puzzle away. Such are dreams. This is life. The prophets come and they go, like ghosts in a dream, saying at most, "This is what WILL happen, UNLESS you WILL it otherwise." Then they disappear like UFOs, into a whole very different, distant dimension of their own will. Be done. The particle again disappears, and waves goodbye.
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I know of three UFOs which have been sighted in this area: One north of Rockford, near the Wisconsin border. One over east Rockford - which I found very personally interesting. And the one at O’Hare. There once was a divine WHITE BUFFALO born in Janesville, WI, just north of here. A major event for Native Americans. And then there were the cougars. So, now we have this Canadian flying his errant plane from Thunder Bay, over Madison, and past Rockford. I think I heard the jets roaring by in the distance - amplified by their parallel tracks - it sounded like a distant stampede of buffalo. And across the Lake from Chicago, in Benton Harbor, MI, just north of New Buffalo, (NEAR MICHIGAN CITY), someone's pet buffalo broke out of its fencing, and ran through the town, probably hoping to join the stampede, probable sick of the shit in THIS LIFE. This stupid human shit. The animals know. Normally docile animals break out and attack humans, because they know: We are the ones who are fucking up the planet. This poor creature, someone's child, was, of course, shot dead.
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The buffalo had belonged to Chicago politician Ed Vrdoliac, indicted for corruption. Where had the love for this creature gone? It's only approximate love, in a world of naked apes, was gone, to itself be locked behind bars. This poor animal, lost, cheated, breaks free, out of divine instinct, to die in a dream. Poor, poor planet. Honestly, would it really be such a surprise that aliens or gods are striving to warn us, limited though their divine intervention must be? And is it so silly to see omens in animals? In them, our own spirit is hardly closer.
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10:30pm - woops - another CFS crash - caused by rice 5 hours ago - no, I did not get married
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when a person fathoms deeper and deeper through the line between tragedy and comedy, between chaos and order, between spirit and matter, there is no end to it - no end to the ambiguity and absurdity. yet, the predicting becomes easier, but is worth no more or less. you step out of this world, and are brought back in by a hail of stones. outrageous fortune and misfortune - it all evens out. we all remain equal, divine, and bastardly. think of the poor bastards looking in at us, unable to fathom far enough to reach us.
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there was an earthquake in Italy. some idiot-prophet lady said that SHE felt that this CHAOS was punishment of the pope by THE NEW WORLD ORDER, (who, apparently, control plate-tectonics). because, exactly one year ago, the pope had denounced THE MONEY-CHANGERS! well, you take the absurd with the turds, I always say. for there was also an italian man who ACTUALLY PREDICTED this earthquake. but before the earth had quacked, the AUTHORITIES arrested him for "trying to cause a public panic". how profound, these coupled thoughts.
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this knee-jerk reaction was such a CATHOLIC thing to do. and I partly mean the UNIVERSAL sense of the word. to hang a man for an act of god. or a witch for ergot. to ignore mistakes bubbling up through NATURE and into the crevices of society's technology or habits or even language - where the mystical universe is fitting less and less with structured ORDER - until a man, like Socrates, identifies them - and then the man is crucified - hung on a BIG X, where he says in his last breath, "Forgive them, it was all A BIG MISTAKE". under a hail of rocks, the martyrs and prophets bring us back down to earth, to aspire again. to feel, after the tragedy, hopeful and confident again - to invest in the stock market again - one day - we hope. to build another church, or now a WORLD TRADE CENTER, or now a TOWER OF BABEL, to fall again. quack quack. the trust in nature, in god, eludes us again.
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so, I sometimes think of how we might look from far, far away. we sing our songs of love and of surfing in the sun. of love for god. and the gods and aliens look down and say, "Look at that tiny rabble! They look like ants! Look at them, they are swarming around saying, 'We like that big sun out there!' Period. How shallow! How the hell could we ever communicate with THAT?! They show no feeling, no sense, no planning or order. All they do is suck up oil so they can move around a lot. And when they move around too much, they try to kill each other. And they all seem angry about how each other is worshipping their little sun in the sky. As if matters, as if it will stop their planet from melting. Look at them studying arithmetic, only to stab each other in the back, and then die. They don't even know what crop circles are!" And the aliens try, but they are not allowed to reach us - by the great weirdness of nature called god.
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poor dead buffalo, I say. let them say what they want. let them gossip all they want.
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BENEATH THE KILLER MOON.
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HERE LIES THE NATURALLY HAPPY
- happiness crushed -
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HERE LIES THE SELF-MOTIVATED
FOREVER CRUSHED
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here lies the spine and diviner
BONES PERPETUALLY CRUSHED INTO DUST
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and kept honest
BY A SYNDROME
nobody knows
but through PAIN
or, perhaps, suspicion
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and pretty girls make graves.

 



sat 4-4-09  7:30pm
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I bought some artichokes cheap.  I figured since I have been turned on by avocados and asparagus, I would try the other A vegetable, which seems to be somewhat popular.  but, tell me, what is the fucking deal with artichokes?  I have no idea how to eat them, so I boiled some, and they were too crappy stringy to eat - except for the famed ARTICHOKE HEARTS, and stems, which have no particular FLAVOUR!  I ask you blithely, what the hell is going on?
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but my day today was nifty.  I went to the library, sadly seeking a new hard drive for my newest laptop, sadly thinking I could access that if I got it.  unfortunately, the whole splay of hard drives out there have no guarantees that they will even fit right.  so, more work needs to be done.  (but, I must admit - I do have some cool stuff to work with here - computer stuff - even though it is mainly 1999, it is state of the art, if I can fucking make something of any of it).  but, while walking to the library, I heard bagpipes, and eventually saw that they were coming from some ceremony at Memorial Hall, where I'm sure mayor fish-face recognized me walking by.  (we know each other, but I no longer support him).  how cool though.  other cool stuff happened which I forgot.  the main thing was that I was racing to beat the clock, and all along the way, I made it.  I go to the bank ATM, and now have $240 cash on hand to buy silver or gold.  I got to the drugstore to pick up my drugs, and there was the Elliot spitzer girl dressed all gothic, with whom I have had unofficial tussles, but she liked my chia head and quick demeanor, which included a polite, "damn it!"  I raced back and caught the bus to the grocery store, FOR FUCKING ARTICHOKES, and ran in and shopped in less than half an hour and caught the same bus back home.  (the bagger talked to me about lentil soup, which disoriented me).  some decent backpacking dude talked to me and it was good.  then I got off the bus and saw a cute girl with a big bouquet of flowers.  she shunned me nervously, cuz I am so cute and what could she say with a bouquet?  but I smiled because I rejoiced in her life, despite me having none, and she happily smiled back.  then I got near home and asked the happy black guy if he liked the beer I gave him and he said he used it to flavour his meat and I said, well, there's a dead squirrel back there which is looking kinda good.  me and my lightning, killing humour.  but fuck, he don't respect me enough.  and dats what it's about in dis hooood yo yo.
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why am I writing this - I had a reason...
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I threw my dog a hotdog, and now I'm not really sure what happened to that hotdog.
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and here are lyrics I love, playing as we speak:
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they who should love me walk right through me
I am a ghost, and as far as I know, I haven't even died
and my love is under the ground
my one true love, is under the ground
and I'll never be anybody's hero now
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under the ground - I think of seeds that will never be, cuz of Monsanto and all
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so, I don't know - the scanner knows - chock full of wild crazy pit-bulls lately, and people trying to commit suicide.  is this a step up from the days of disoriented males?  showing up on porches never meant for them?  I am telling you, this is an introduction to HAYWIRE.  today I passed a lost little sign that said: "HUNGRY...  WILL WORK FOR FOOD".  oh dear god, when will we be where we should be?  Pittsburgh Pennsylvania...  there was a day when this only happened in Philly.  but now it is bad, it's NATIONWIDE.
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dudes. hard times.
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sorry, but once again, I have to TELL you to BUY GOLD or silver, because we are headed for massive incapacitating inflation, and you need to do this.  do this!
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I was saying this when gold was $350, and now it's around $1000 - you could have more than doubled your money.  and I know for a fact that it will go up to at least $3000.  DON'T BE ESHTUPID!  IT COULD GO UP TO FUCKING $20,000 IN 10 YEARS OR LESS.  IT IS THE ONLY REAL CURRENCY!  BUY FUCKING GOLD!  everything else will fail you!
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OK - I am off to rebuild computers, in a mildly drunken stupour, which is nothing compared to when MONK and HOUSE roll around.  good times saturday night.  huh.  just because I am pathetic, don't think I don't know what's real.  I'll be dead some thursday night, but what have I gained, if you don't buy gold?
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