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* - galaxy

"ho ha hi !" - that's santa laughing in latin

Posted on 2007.12.10 at 21:55
i figured out santa claus - why he exists

of course, he arose in the 1800's when kids started being treated like kids instead of adults.  and when christmas turned from a lower class rejection of the rich into a family holiday...

i think he exists so that when poor people and kids took a long hard look at the cold winter coming up - with fear and foreboding - they needed someone to assure them that they would survive - rich adults wouldn't eat them or leave them hungry and homeless.  they needed inspiration and encouragement.  so santa comes a long and tell them:

"look at me - i am FAT - you will not starve!"
"i am old - and yet healthy and happy!  you will have a good future!"
"I am jolly - and yet not drunk, and i won't beat you like your boss or dad!"
"I am dressed in blazing white and burning red - i have warm red cheeks!  you will not freeze!"
"and we will be divine and vital!"
"i am so rich i'm just giving all these toys away - we DEFY winter's poverty and meaness!"
"i am big and STRONG, but sweet as pie!  you don't have to be a jerk when you grow up!"
"i can FLY! - what more do you want?!"
"and yet you leave me cookies - to feed your own magical dream..."

[video] Report: Nation’s Wealthy Cruelly Deprived Of True Meaning Of Christmas

Posted by </a></b></a>theonionfeed on 2007.12.11 at 01:05
The nation’s poor get to experience true Christmas spirit, while the wealthy, burdened by shopping and party obligations, are left out in the cold.

Comments:


Cordiform
heartinthroat at 2007-12-11 06:30 (UTC) (Lien)
That's really, really sad. :(
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2007-12-11 08:47 (UTC) (Lien)
poor puppy!

i guess - but it's fun to think you can get fat and old and not get sick and poor - getting through winter is depressing enough

the ice storm cometh...

Major Mustard
major_mustard at 2007-12-11 09:22 (UTC) (Lien)
"my reindeer's nose is glowing - I accidentally shot 10,000 volts up his ass! respect high voltage kids!"
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