where hypotheses come to die (madman101) wrote,
where hypotheses come to die

what's all the to-do?

i looked in the mirror and i am becoming a cartoon.  i look more and more like a new simpsons character every day.  i am scheduled to appear this fall and my name will be Cookie.  this is upsetting me - although being a cartoon will mean i will never die.  but at what cost?!

nah - just joking about that.  i'll never do that again.  but let's talk about reality.  i find it an outrage that no better cartoon character was ever developed for squirrels than the goofy, dorky, Rocky the Squirrel.  i'm serious.

anyway - a lot of people ask me, "why don't you do me on the sidewalk?"  and i simply say, "first of all, i am not a citizen, and i don't feel i have the right to procreate."

"second of all i am a giant ant."

that's right.  i woke up feeling antsy and i had big long ant legs and i find it impossible to use a spoon.  being an ant, i long for the company of other ants.  i also long to milk an aphid, but where is there a giant aphid around here?  i noticed that the people down the street turned into giant ants so maybe i'll go introduce myself.  all i know is i am VERY hungry.  and i will eat ANYTHING.

(concudes with dramatic ant music).
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