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* - galaxy

what's all the to-do?

Posted on 2007.10.08 at 10:31
i looked in the mirror and i am becoming a cartoon.  i look more and more like a new simpsons character every day.  i am scheduled to appear this fall and my name will be Cookie.  this is upsetting me - although being a cartoon will mean i will never die.  but at what cost?!

nah - just joking about that.  i'll never do that again.  but let's talk about reality.  i find it an outrage that no better cartoon character was ever developed for squirrels than the goofy, dorky, Rocky the Squirrel.  i'm serious.

anyway - a lot of people ask me, "why don't you do me on the sidewalk?"  and i simply say, "first of all, i am not a citizen, and i don't feel i have the right to procreate."

"second of all i am a giant ant."

that's right.  i woke up feeling antsy and i had big long ant legs and i find it impossible to use a spoon.  being an ant, i long for the company of other ants.  i also long to milk an aphid, but where is there a giant aphid around here?  i noticed that the people down the street turned into giant ants so maybe i'll go introduce myself.  all i know is i am VERY hungry.  and i will eat ANYTHING.

(concudes with dramatic ant music).

Comments:


The Me
crazymook at 2007-10-08 16:39 (UTC) (Lien)
You crack me up, Mr Giant Ant :)
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2007-10-08 22:35 (UTC) (Lien)
thank you! i aim to please, and scamper about
Ashley
faraqueen at 2007-10-08 16:53 (UTC) (Lien)
this cracked me up. "why don't you do me on the sidewalk?" LOL
and i really wish i knew what dramatic ant music sounded like... forgive my ignorance
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2007-10-08 22:36 (UTC) (Lien)
yeah - i was hoping that line would get a laugh

well - i almost went into describing the ant music but i thought it was best to let you imagine
Marie
abnorml1 at 2007-10-08 17:02 (UTC) (Lien)
Remember the cute ant in the movie "Honey I shrunk the kids?"
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2007-10-08 22:37 (UTC) (Lien)
i do! - that was a fun movie

:)
Rhyska
rhyska at 2007-10-08 17:02 (UTC) (Lien)
Oooh! In Hoodwinked, they had Twitchy the squirrel. He was awesome! Especially after he drank coffee XD

You know, Wookiees are kind of like giant, angry squirrels...

Your post has reminded me of all those bizarre monster flix from back in the day and now I have this itch to watch one of them. Like the ones with the giant mutant ants or the freaky b-flick insectoid peoples--and then I recall that my tv is busted and I have no cable. Argh!
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2007-10-08 22:39 (UTC) (Lien)
wow - that DOES sound squirrely!

you know what - you are TOTALLY right about wookies! and i don't know how you came up with that! i am jealous

omg - what have i done!

please don't have nightmares
literaryrepose
literaryrepose at 2007-10-08 17:13 (UTC) (Lien)
LOL! This reminds me of Kafka's Metamorphosis. Not that I've read it, I'm just being pretentious..
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2007-10-08 22:39 (UTC) (Lien)
no - actually, you are the only one who mentioned this

i am a big kafka fan, and i was thinking of him when i wrote this

thanks
Evil Tracey
eviltracey at 2007-10-08 17:18 (UTC) (Lien)
There already is a character named Cookie on The Simpsons -- Cookie Kwan, the star realtor on Springfield's West Side.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2007-10-08 22:40 (UTC) (Lien)
damn!

i was trying to think of a name that would really fit the simpsons! i came too close!

or maybe i actually am becoming cookie kwan
Stephanie
genies9 at 2007-10-08 18:22 (UTC) (Lien)
You are a strange bird. :) Or ant. Whatever. "You are a strange ant" doesn't sound the same though.

Rocky is the shit. You know it's true.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2007-10-08 22:46 (UTC) (Lien)
well - i am a strange uncle though

i really LOVE rocky and bullwinkle! but i think squirrels deserve more

all the crafty, intellingent characters are mice and rabbits and cats

but THEN - i remembered my wonderful FOAMY THE SQUIRREL! - i can't believe i forgot about him - but he never graduated into TV stardom - they need to get him on the simpsons
Joo
jewelsl85 at 2007-10-08 18:57 (UTC) (Lien)
There is a squirrel who's pretty popular, but he isn't a cartoon.

Butters the Squirrel
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2007-10-08 22:46 (UTC) (Lien)
is it foamy? - i forgot about foamy!
★  Ashlee ★
umbreons_shadow at 2007-10-09 00:23 (UTC) (Lien)
Simpsons are old now. We need something new.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2007-10-09 00:53 (UTC) (Lien)
simpsons are never old

but i agree

i just thought foamy wouldn't work on family guy
.
musikfurcats at 2007-10-09 00:43 (UTC) (Lien)
this entry is so good
I want to talk to ants now and make squirrel cartoons

good luck on being cookie
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2007-10-09 00:54 (UTC) (Lien)
ha ha ha - i respect your comment

email me if you want that black blindfold

of course yes it is just my excuse to stalk you

doit!
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