I didn't make the "most beautiful people" list.
And it's because I suck.
I suck in everything I do - not only the small things - I suck at all the big things.
Anyone who has ever met me will tell you I suck.
I walk down the street and everyone looks at me like I suck.
I want to suck everything I see - lamp-posts, little bald black boy's heads, car headlights - anything. Because I suck in every way.
I can't be hurt by a tornado because I would also suck it.
I want to become more god-like so I even want to suck the entire universe.
And the whole universe thinks I suck.
I smell. I have bodilly fluids. I can't fuckin figure out WinAmp. I've never even been to Maine.
I supported Al Gore and John Kerry.
Is it not obvious? Avoid me - for verilly I suck big-time.
And I just broke up with a girl who reminded me of Drew Barrymore - how bad is that?
Why do I continue to live? - It's some twisted prank. - I must be Satan.
No - at least he gets PR.
No - I'm just a little fucking sucky thing like a mole or a grub or something irritating you under your armpit.
Please forgive me for bothering you but I just thought you should know that I suck.