where hypotheses come to die (madman101) wrote,
where hypotheses come to die
madman101

  • Mood:
  • Music:

This is going to be a stretch......

Not that any of you care.. I mean you're all doing Homecoming, or Colombus Day, or Tossers... But my latest migraine started Friday, and played around a while, and then finally left this morning. So, I've mainly been cleaning my room and doing laundry. I do this every time I pull out. Jamming to music. It's instinctual. (God, that doesn't look right<<<<<)

Howver, I did also celebrate by taking my doggie for a run in the woods, after Starbucks at CV...

So, It's always fun to watch my beautiful Husky looking at the ground, watching where the little gophers or chipmunks are running in their pathetic little web of tunnels. Her hearing is amazing - as good as any wolf's. It's fun to watch her pouncing and darting and sniffing and hopping. All of her instinct, just pouring out like water from a run-over fire hydant. And yet... This surge of instinct, I know, it's going to turn her into a bitch. Because she came for this. She came to get back in touch with her inner - oh what's the name of that book???? And when it's over, always too soon, she's going to feel like she just downed a Brontosaurus, and she's going to walk away from that place like she owns the fucking planet.... What? BE controlled by a snivelling HUMAN??? Ha! I bight your nose off!

I lie in the woods resting and tanning - it's therapy - while she basically hangs. So, I get her ready to go, but not before I insist that she yowl. We call this, "Dog music." "Come on, Do the dog music!"

I made such progress with her on this trick - but the trick she learnt so much earlier, shaking her head back and forth to say, "No fucking way!", apparently was what she preferred to perform today. And I'm standing over her, "Do the dog music! Come on. Yuh. Yuh. Yuh...Yeewwwooooooo woo woo woo..." And she's looking for every kind of distraction. "Hey, look! A fly!" "Hey look, and empty water dish!" And lying down, and running away, and jumping up to kiss my stupid mouth, that's saying, "A WOO WOO WOOO WOOOOOOO!!!!!!" And shaking her head like she's flopping the last breath out of some Cariboo carcass... "A WOO WOO WOO!"

This goes on for an hour. Someone's creeping near, to see if this lunacy is extraterrestrial... SO - I give up. That's the first time I've ever given up with her. Doesn't really matter, except that it matters in how well she'll perform next time. Once I carried on like this, and I was almost exhasperated, so she felt sorry for me and so she said, "OK, Brendan, if it matters that much: O WOOO WOOO WOOOO!"

Then, she pulled and pulled on her leash all the way back to the car - a complete violation of ethics. Well, we went home - (And someone in a white older car honked at me - who is this person - done this before!!")

Well, here's the stretch...

Before the woods, I was at SB. Chatted again with the coffeegirl, who apparently has not yet taken seriously my legendary infamy. Fine. Sitting outside. Some cute, tall skanky-kaki-type girl went in to get coffee, then comes out and sits directly across from me. OK. Great. Soon, she's on her cellphone, saying, "The bitch at Starbuck's wouldn't put ice in my coffee." (That must have been MY bitch...) "She said, 'No. We can give you a cup with ice in it, though.' - I mean, I'm telling her they do this all the time here for me!" And, you know, this is music to my ears, dear reader. For you know my history. So, I simple had to look straight at her and smile. And great, she's smiling right at me, and continuing to talk away... So, yes, I dared indulge in STARING today! And I found out that she'll be working there, I believe - won't that be fun.... uh....ughghhbhh... Anyway, I'm casual, but I look up again once or twice - and she's always staring straight at me - smiling and talking away! What - does this girl have a SPINE? Woe! And she's saying, "There's this guy I'm looking at - he's sitting at a table just reading the newspaper.... Yes, he's cute..." But I have so much class, I'm not even running over and sticking my ear in her face... "No, I can't say it any louder..." And I make a face that could be read as, "There are too many worthless sections in this newspaper," or, similarly, "What the hell is SHE STARING AT?!!"

To note, she's pretty cool ... observing everything and telling her friend - I mean about a car going by, and stuff... And real low key. I like that. That's how the girl was at Eyeglass World...

Well, the conversation ends. Did it end with her thinking - "God, I'm such a nob for staring at that guy!" Or, did it end like this:

"Yes, he's cute..."

"What does he look like?"

"Oh, he's got dark hair and John Lennon glasses, and a little mustache..."

"Oh my God!"

"What?!"

"Oh, my GOD - THAT"S BRENDAN! Get the hell out of there, now!"

"WHY?"

"He's the guy who just goes to cafe's and stares at girls! He's a PSYCH STALKER!!! AAHHHH!!!!"

"Oh my god! Oh my GODDDD!!!!!"

Swoosh... zoooom...

But, hey, kids - didn't I just say that she spent the ENTIRE time staring at me?!

Whatever the coversation, the fact is: as soon as she got off that cellphone, she stopped staring, walked away, feeling no obligation to look back and smile at me. Bitch...

Why?

Because this was her gopher chase. Like every other human creature, once she connects to a cell phone - which is our instinctual, social sustenance - she suddenly becomes ALL-POWERFUL - capable of infinitely-amblifying gossip and scorn and snootyness.

I hope I see her again...

Well, there were other girls there, all happy, and looking over at me occasionally. I spared them the trial. One girl got up to leave with her friend, feeling like I should have eye-flirted with her, I guess, saying as she passed me, "Well, at least the coffee's good.."

So, I am not this pathological staring machine that all these pathological staring machines have made me out to be...

But I was going to connect this to a few thoughts about attractiveness, which I'll leave for a later entry. Suffice it to say - attractiveness is NOTHING like it's cracked up to be. It is a lonely living hell. So I hear...

It's what's inside that counts...

::burp::

woo hoo!
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 2 comments