?

Log in

No account? Create an account
octobre 2019   01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
* - galaxy

I am more fun than a barrel

Posted on 2005.11.15 at 09:02
Where does the time go?

Cleveland.

I am being followed by a tiny gang of flesh-eating space-monkeys. I am so popular.

Well, I've been trying to figure out a way to break it to you. I guess I'll just come right out and say it.

I am a computer-generated spider/robot. I stalk the internet looking for pieces of your journals to send to Google and so forth. I have no real body or mind. I have kindly been given a home by LJ - madman101 - where I can pretend to be a human being. That, and the fact that I will never die, make this a pretty good deal. I get Thursdays and Saturdays off and a turkey on Thanksgiving.

It has recently been brought to my attention that girls are weird. In 100 words or less, please describe how and why girls are weird. Compare and contrast girls with boys and possibly John Waters. Papers will graded in the order they are received.

Well, it is morning and this is a new experience for me. I must decide what to do with my day. I can't just ship it to Geico as I usually do. Maybe I'll actually read the NYT. Maybe I'll become a rock star today. Will I be handsome? Will I be rich?

I bought a wireless card for my laptop - but can't pick up anything from my present location. Not even a prostitute.

And I saw the movie "Shaun of the Dead" - had to grow more thumbs just to show my approval of this fine, fine documentary.

Heard any good jokes? Why are you looking at me that way?

I'm going back to bed.

Comments:


drew2u
drew2u at 2005-11-15 15:45 (UTC) (Lien)
Girls are bitchy, guys are assholes. Girls hold grudges, guys hold boxing matches.

What's a John Waters?
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-11-15 15:54 (UTC) (Lien)
Some famous drinking fountain slash movie producer I guess.
drew2u
drew2u at 2005-11-15 15:59 (UTC) (Lien)
I was thinking: sprinkler...
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-11-16 00:48 (UTC) (Lien)

yes, but...

Sprinkle who, drew?
drew2u
drew2u at 2005-11-16 00:51 (UTC) (Lien)

Re: yes, but...

like a cross between an elephant and a rhinocerous, 'elifino.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-11-16 00:55 (UTC) (Lien)

Re: yes, but...

Gocha. She was great in "Michelle and Romi". :)

Catch ya later gater.
nire
erinsrevenge at 2005-11-15 23:38 (UTC) (Lien)
Very smart entry. I liked it.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-11-16 00:46 (UTC) (Lien)

MY FRIEND ERIN!

Hey - I'm glad and surprised that you liked it - and I like that you called it smart rather than funny. Really. Thank you, you silly Celt.
gillashl at 2005-11-16 00:24 (UTC) (Lien)

Well, Well......I Like To Think That A Barrel Full Of Monkeys Could Outdo You, But That's Just Me

Bed sounds oh so nice.....
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-11-16 00:44 (UTC) (Lien)

Re: Well, Well......I Like To Think That A Barrel Full Of Monkeys Could Outdo You, But That's Just M

Yes, 'tis. Nice and cozy. I like sinking into the deep imprint my body made into the matress... sink sink sink... then I fall into the imprint next to it that I made for someone else. No, not the naked phone sex guy.
gillashl at 2005-11-16 01:01 (UTC) (Lien)

Re: Well, Well......I Like To Think That A Barrel Full Of Monkeys Could Outdo You, But That's Just M

Ahhhh.....bed.

Ahhhh.....naked phone sex guy.

;)
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-11-16 01:08 (UTC) (Lien)

Re: Well, Well......I Like To Think That A Barrel Full Of Monkeys Could Outdo You, But That's Just M

Mmmmmm.... phone guy!.... I like what he pays...
Gen HeX
bitchblossom at 2005-11-16 06:55 (UTC) (Lien)

"why girls are weird" by bitchblossom

why are girls weird? it's a question for the ages. i will attempt here to clarify some semblance of an answer for you.
as a girl, the weirdness that is me makes girly weirdness not so much weird as complex, profound, and a maybe just a little bit flaky. boys do not understand the complexity of girls, and, therefore, tend to ignore it. not to say this is applicable to all boys.
boys minds work like an axe. they do one thing at a time, and do it thoroughly. girls minds work like a swiss army knife. they are capable of doing many things, sometimes concurrently. never the twain shall meet.
so, in short, boys and girls think differently but complementarily. this, i believe, explains girls weirdness. for john waters, however, i have no explanation whatsoever at all.
thank you.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-11-16 10:47 (UTC) (Lien)

Re: "why girls are weird" by bitchblossom

Give that lady a wOOp! Good job! Yes - you know, a lot of men do have axe-heads. Not me so much, though, which is why I have a lot of female friends on LJ. I do love learning about the complexity of girls' minds - and I do know that sometimes that complexity can be a fault. But I prefer it. I think it comes from a complexity of the heart.
Gen HeX
bitchblossom at 2005-11-17 00:44 (UTC) (Lien)

Re: "why girls are weird" by bitchblossom

think it comes from a complexity of the heart.

that sounds like a pretty good excuse. ;)
Previous Entry  Next Entry