Conflicting forces are commandeering my body and brain. I should be collapsing soon, but I am also resolving the last 2-week relapse, which was largely mega-migraine. Who knows what tomorrow brings.
But, it turns out I should get to the library ASAP, so I can log into my bank, (which I can't so here). And I need to drop off a note to my LL. And I want to stop in at a printer's and explore the idea of making bumper stickers, which I could sell online.
So, going downtown would be good, but all this fatigue is building up inside me, waiting to explode. Adding more exertion is the wrong thing to do. After that, the most natural thing to do would be to drink when I got home. But drinking just worsens things.
My theory is that migraines are fatigue sublimated, hidden or buried. The fatigue is, instead of expressing itself and calling for sleep or meditation, washed over by the next rising biorhythm - time of day, time to eat, time for AcH to kick in, etc.
And drinking keeps this fatigue buried, adding more on top of it - because the last thing you get when you drink is regenerative sleep or rest. Thus: Hangovers. Throw a hangover on top of a migraine and you may become and angry, demented monster.
And if you keep drinking, you may completely muddle up all your biorhythms, becoming so fatigued that what once would have been dreams, become hallucinations whilst awake. Psychic / psychosis. The easy separation between observer and observed becomes blurred.
Quantum phenomena now register into consciousness. And you slip into the whole infinite complexity of the Labyrinth: The memory and mechanics of all the cells in your body, operating like clockwork, and connected to such dynamics across the universe.
You can get to this state using MDMA, much better. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MDMA). But alcohol can also get there via a more contorted and destructive route. And, as I have said of a related state, where observer and observed are also confused, Schizophrenia is both a madness and an intimation of alternate realities - psychic in its way.