Yes, my skull is here, but my brain is an official citizen of a country in an entirely separate hemisphere. Which is almost moot, because, before that, all the spirit and DNA which went into my brain came from Eire and outer-space. My proto-soul has cavorted with Iberians and Scythians and Anatolians and, dare I say it, CroMagnons. This has been a billion-year effort of the universe, to put it all together, and then send my soul walking around through this completely hopeless neighbourhood, in the middle of this ridiculous time in history.
I have tripped and fallen with CFS, and cannot sponsor any kind of intelligent thought, half the time. All the things I have done, all the lessons learnt, all the revelations I have had, are, according to plan, to be lost as soon as my body reenters the dirtasphere. So, it can be seen like one, crazy, sick joke that I even exist, calling myself me, carrying around the weight of the universe in this tiny detachable vessel called my skull.
But, I am an existential transcendentalist. I will put all that pathos into my boots and will burn it as speed to win any race I must win. If you think that I have danced with the stars to no ultimate point, then you judge me wrongly. I am a fluke of the universe. I have a right to be here. And all the various ghosts that went into forming me - they will fight to stay there like cats in an abandoned house, ready to be bulldozed. I have at least as much drive to survive as all those who went before me, and probably twice as much as anyone who would mess with me. Everyone in this neighbourhood knows, by now, that I am worse than a badger or wolverine, if someone tries to mess with me.
Remember, I am spending all day just trying to preserve the wonder in my brain, against the onslaught of CFS. Any nonsense from people is like child's-play, to me, and I can easilly unleash a fraction of the fight I wage against CFS, into fighting back at them, and everyone just watches them fall. I am a terror to confront. I may look and act nice, and oh so Christian, but I fiercely defend, not so much myself, but everyone who might be messed with, by the bullies that be. I am defending the weak, the poor, the lame of brain, the nice, the generous, the free and the fun loving. All those spirits that went into me, over billions of years, and somehow also walk around elsewhere in this world. I defend them, more than I defend myself. And I am very proud of this. Even though it's secondary to trying to keep my mind sane and clear. And my heart true. And my dog fed.
The world we live in, presently, is not sane. There are external, material, ephemeral and just plain stupid, as in animal, enticements and forces going on that tend to draw in the very insecure towards positions of control, be that in business, politics, groups, fame, war, oppression, and so on. All the bad stuff. It's a global illness, thanks to some psychotic Americans with too much time and money on their hands. It reaches into every neighbourhood, and tries to topple statues of your ghosts of the past. It tries to tell you that the reason you breath is to oppress. You were delivered to planet Earth as part of a conspiracy to hurt great swarms of people you have never even met. Because you spend a dollar to put food in your mouth, you are part of the great conspiracy which basically eminates tentacles from Hitler. Not Stalin or Mao. It's entirely selective.
It doesn't matter if you sit beside the greatest mass murderers in history, or even go out and burn buildings down in their defense. If you make the slightest move that can be branded white racist, even if you are black, mind you, then you get banned and canceled and ostracised and publicised and all this. It doesn't matter that you have a human brain and heart like everyone else. They trump you! Trump, Trump, Trump! They know to do this, because it comes through their TV, through their schools, through their politics, through their publications, through their celebrities, through their gossip. It is in illegal legal structures. It is in non-profit propaganda groups. It is ubiquitous on late night and downtown comedy. It is in rap music, in university theory, and in the banning of Doctor Seuss, and everybody else. It started with Alex Jones, and now they are banning everybody else.
Why? Convenience. An easy, convenient. PATH TO POWER. Selling one's soul, or self-respect, to gain worldly power and prestige. You see, we haven't really been going places, as an economy and a society, in the last 40 years or so. Right? So, when new generations comes up, and think they need to replace old ones, what are they going to do? They have no great tool. They have no great arguments. No great theories. What are they going to do? They are going to violently attack Baby Boomers, Gen Xers, cars, buildings, innocent people - because the money to do so is not coming from any solid movement. It is coming from Soros, and China.
People who think they deserve power are seizing on easy money and hate in order to overthrow the people they hate which, eventually, will become themselves. Look at Cuomo. Gavin Whats-his-name. Even members of SCOTUS. I did nothing, and they eventually came for me. In the end, it doesn't matter if you were in the Capital, or you were at the rally, or supported Trump, or are a Republican, or are a wavering Democrat, or are a progressive. This is what happens, and everyone is so stupid not to see it coming. And why? Because they are all fixated on falling behind, joining in, the great bastardly rush for power. Which, we have seen, has been amplified and accelerated thousands of times by social media. Get your 5 seconds of fame, even if it means burning down your own neighbourhood.
OK, so. I want to relate my local experiences to this global unhinging.
First, let me tell you. I am completely aware of how blithely inconsiderate some Republicans can be. I don't even have to go into my past life with siblings. Many republicans have simplistic minds, feel they are better than everyone else, use religion to control people, try to control society to their advantage, bully out the people they feel threatened by, lust after money and prestige, constantly think themselves right about any and everything, CONSPIRE ever so diplomatically, try to own the law and righteousness, support injurious systems of authority, expect people to follow authority without question, and so on, and so on! I am no stranger to any of this! But, you know what? Guess what! Many messed up Republicans are just doing the same damn power things that messed up Democrats are doing - they are just using different systems of rationalisation.
Dems seek power by arguing for the rights of marginalized and disorganised groups? GOPpers seek power by arguing for the rich. They do things differently, but it's basically the same human game. Selfishness. The left is easy to see it on the right, the right is easy to see it on the left, but no one takes responsibility for their own crap. And, there's the rub, when you get right down to the people level. You either buddy up to, or you completely hate, some jerk who doesn't own up to his own crap.
So, you choose words to help you figure out how to move. Your uncle uses GOP words, so that makes it easy for you not to support his crap. Your aunt uses Dem words, and so it is easy to throw yourself behind her authority. And anyone versed in psychology out there, you know what I'm talking about. I mean grad school Psych, you can see what's going on here. The need of humans to back authority, and so not have to think so much. It's almost sexually masochistic.
But, since about, only maybe 2012 or 2013, I have gradually been criticising this emerging pathology which I have called, "Democrats In Denial." And, when it went fully ballistic in attacking Trump, who was innocent, in 2016, 2017, I was done with them. I did everything I could, trying to keep my friends unified and agreeable. But the lies, and the projected lies, the propaganda, the complicity of Big Tech and the media - even Big Pharma - it just completely confirmed all the LIBERAL things I had been writing about, in OCCUPY, and elsewhere, that rapacious corporate money, and China, were moving in to control and sell out this country. If it were the GOPer who moved in to facilitate this, I would be railing against the GOPpers.
But the TRUTH is that it's the DEMS. Disgustingly. I guess they had an easier path, because they kept telling people they were for the little guy. They are no longer for the little guy. They are for the big, big LIE. I say that unabashedly, proudly, and knowingly. I didn't study the interwar rise of fascism, in one of the best public universities in the world, for no reason. I knew it was coming. And I wanted to be aware of it, and to communicate about it. Like everyone, today, I expected it to come from the right.
You know what? It is coming from the new "right". THE LEFT. A new kind of right. Globalist money. Status quo anti-liberalism. Corporatism. And Techo-Fascism. Cancel culture. Someone please try to convince me that cancel culture is liberal. It's not. People need to wake up and get off this elitist bandwagon. Dude, I was in college when all this multiculturalism and antiNAZIism was percolating. I believed in it, until it became an extremely destructive, widespread socio-political phenomenon, the new fascism.
Back to life at home... Soooo, I was compelled to move out of the house my mother wanted me to inherit, in Ye Olde City. There were FB flashmobs starting up. I detested the Crazy Gay Guy On The Corner, who tried to control all properties, and blamed me as the reason why black neighbours were suddenly attacking him, even though my family had been in this house for decades. Don't blame me for bigger social phenomena. Because, if you do that, you are being manipulated in divide-and-conquer, like a zombie stooge. Same thing with the head of the neighbourhood association, who lived in eye-site. In an apartment. What is an apartment renter doing telling the neighbourhood how to live? She was Germanic, btw, with a Celtic hairline. One of those many old reddish-haired busybody women with boxy heads and a straight-across hairline. Like, they are everywhere, in every city. AND THEY ALWAYS HATE ME, lol.
Anyway, I was friendly with the blacks in the brick apartment building across the street, and she absolutely hated me for it. I gave them a way to resell Native American cigarettes, because I had stopped smoking. On the night Obama won, I screamed, "OBAMA!" I was done with Obama by 2010. Nothing to do with blacks. Policies. Policies. That's what presidents are for. Not games. Policies. God, so many people who vote are just idiots. Racism! Racism! Give me a fucking break. Don't contaminate me with you mental problems.
So, even though I was told to move out in a month, because siblings really love you, it took me a year to find a nice place I could afford. Yes, my siblings helped dispose of me, for which I am eternally thankful. This really is an incredibly great apartment. For so incredibly cheap.
But, when I moved in here, there was a black girl downstairs, who let her boyfriend illegally live with her. And he was constantly banging doors at me, and at her, and running their violent DVDs at full volume at 3:am, shaking the whole house. It was abuse. Now, I have PTSD, as a component of CFS. This is not good stuff for me, can you possibly relate? I'm living upstairs like Ann Frank, not able to move lest this guy bang some more, and waiting to die of a heart attack. OK? These are Americans pulling this crap. Not me. Black Americans, attacking me. This went on for a couple of years. Because I am white. Sorry. Because I am white.
Then, this tall, old Jewish guy moves in. He said he was from Chicago, but he owes $40,000 to Colorado. And he drives a Subaru. Baby Boomer Democrat. So, he apparently hears that it is the thing to do to persecute me, and he starts slamming doors and banging on the walls. He waits until he thinks I am asleep, and then he produces several loud, heart-shattering BANGS. This has been going on for four years. I had to confronted him a few times, and now it has tapered off. Now, let me tell you, Jewish people can be experts at dealing with people. They can also be good at falling in with the crowd, if it works to their advantage. I respect many Jews for what they are capable of in society!
Not only is this guy Jewish, he is an actual PSYCHOPATH. He literally almost KILLED ME, with this shit. Anyway, I am kinda proud of, basically, having finally subdued him. After four years. With minimal negative impact on the neighbourhood. He doesn't attack me much anymore. Because of my strategies and reactions, even though, most of the time, I was disabled in bed.
Remember: Fighting not for me, but for the weak, etc., in society. That's what gives me the infinite power to confront closet bullies like this. The same kind of closet bullies who ganged together and put 6 million Jews to their deaths. Irish Guy wins again. Because I'm not so stupid. I'm not Dem. And I'm not GOP. I'm not Christian. And I'm not heathen. I actually think for myself, in this blinking light-bulb I call a brain, handed down to me by the gods of eternity. And YOU SHOULD THINK THIS WAY TOO.
So, as a phenomenon of the hood, here is this old man attacking me, even though I was quiet as a mouse, completely based on his cowardice and immorality. The same sort of stuff which made him run from taxes in Colorado. Difference between him and me? I am flat on my back in hellful pain 6 out of 7 days a week. And so, therefore, he should attack someone like me. Because he KNOWS I am ill. Does anyone, at all, see the similarity here to what was happening in NAZI Germany? I do. Which is why I don't have gold fillings in my teeth.
As I said, those who seek power, and manipulate masses to this end, they don't care about the words they use. Left words. Right words. IT IS THE SAME THING. And, like some zombie contagion, it is now taking over the hearts and minds of countless Democrats who like to see themselves as caring about the misfortunate. Please wake up. You are being indoctrinated into a fascism from the LEFT. Fascism is two things: 1 - A hooking up of government and big corporations. We have that. 2 - Rule by force. We now have that. Words are just words. FORCE IS FORCE.
I moved to this ridiculous town around New Years, 2013. People were yelling across the highway. People were shooting off guns and cherry bomms. Cars were honking in solidarity with other homies. God, it was so ridiculous. People heard I moved in, and they went to FB, and it was an endless stream of people parading past me and my dog, when all I wanted was that my excitable dog would take a shit. People came out of nowhere and attacked me. Because I am new, because I am white.
By late 2016, mobs of black teens were attacking me, saying, "You voted for TRUMP!" even though I cannot vote, because I am not a citizen of this country. I am still being attacked, today. And, guess what. I am done with this crap.
All the spiritual wealth that went into me, over billions of years, this is it? This is what I'm for? To be blamed for racism that I have no relationship to and which usually doesn't exist? No fucking way. I am seriously done with being blamed for racism, blamed for Trump, blamed for so-called white supremacism. I am fuckning done hearing about this crap, and NO WAY anyone gets to blame me for anything, especially since it is all mainly lies and misrepresentation. What the hell do these people think I am? It's not just that I am Irish, my parents were Irish, and so on down. It's because I am a first generation IMMIGRANT. I came here with no support, no friends, and actually, no decent support from siblings, or from my father.
I was basically thrown into a garbage bin, and left to fend for myself. With my Irish wit, my love of nature and humanity, and all that, which usually doesn't fly in much of America. You gotta push people around so you can make money, in America. Then people respect you. But, listen here. Do you not think that, like the rest of my siblings, as a first generation immigrant, I might not have caught on to that, and so fought my way up to wealth and security? I could have.
I. Chose. Not. To. I took the more difficult road less travelled. With all my loss and pain, I am so, so glad I did. I would lie down beneath the tracks rather than do it any differently.
I heard Gary McNamara saying he was not proud that he was Irish . Because he thought people should only be proud of their accomplishments. What says this to the millions held down in poverty, dying with no accomplishments but the love of their kin, or even less? Gary, that's an elitist thing to say. I am proud of my gardening. I am proud of my trees. I am proud of my walks. I am proud of my sincerity. Of my words which have moved mountains or two without benefitting me a bit. I am proud because Irish is the same thing as accomplishments. To be human means to have survived. Living the fruits of that. It's a big accomplishment. "I am evolution, walking!"
But I don't star in movies. I don't own mansions. My illness and environment won't let me write a book. I've made a good joke or two. But I will die with most everyone else, basically in a mass grave, completely forgotten, as is the germination of fascism completely forgotten. In most ways, I am happy to disappear with most everyone else, in this way. The only reason I keep writing, is this: It's not for me. It's for you.
Do you know. That all the love that went into me, it must keep going, beyond me? I am like - it's like I've got a bug in my brain - I am a zombie for humanity. I cannot help but reach out and write! And, do you know the funny thing about this? That spirit that has driven others to write, beyond themselves, what has that given us, but the most famous writers? It's not about externals, materials, ephemerals. I am proud to say that being Irish, or being human, is all about taking everyone just an inkling farther, even if you fall into dust, completely forgotten. We were born to strive. We are only alive, if we strive.
"You voted for Trump!"
So, there is A-hole Guy. You can find him via my tags. This is a little Napoleon black guy, who is insistent on owning the neighbourhood. He has attacked me for the very lies in his own head. He has trespassed on this property and then attacked me because he subsequently stepped on dog poop. He has attacked me for being on public property, which he claimed to own. He has constantly imitated me, he has swayed away people who like me, he has spread rumours, and convinced countless people that he owns the house I live in, when this is just lies. So, what I hope I am saying to you that this guy rather represents what has been going on in this country. When I got to this town, I saw that the blacks were irrationally pushing the whites around.
Here, I end up with this black guy who completely stands behind such woke supremacism. He goes out of his way to insure that I, because I am white, am treated with ignorance, disdain and hate. Seriously, you would not believe what I have gone through with this guy, for 7 years, and he's a complete joke. Constantly trying to intimidate me. Threatening to pop my dog. When all we do is mind our own business. So, of course, Irish Guy has to fight back. Which I did. Irish Guy 1% smarter than black guy, despite all his asshole friends. Irish Guy 1% smarter than Jewish Man.
This is what men HAVE to do. Are forced to do. Unlike me, most all men NEED to compete like this. I just want to get away from it. Capitalism is the whole story of men trying to get away from other men.
But it's also what women demand. Straight women. If you can show me one woman who is sexually attracted to her mate because he is incompetent, then I will send you a bagel made of gold. Women need their men to be one-up, on power, on money, on muscles, on wit, on connivery, on intelligence, on fame - it doesn't matter. Here is the rule, which I have discovered, which is iconoclast: Women are only attracted to men if they appear to hold some promising power. Which is why I got out of the whole dating business. My power won't make a dent until, like, 2100.
We got brains. Women got to like our brains. We've been here a long time. Not so long. We do this dance. Women tell us we are racist sexist homophobes, and what is that? That's about people being as selfish as they can be, in an age of selfishness. We are living in artifice, now. Become gods because we carry iPhones. We're the ones living in that instant of time when simians inheritted the wealth of the megafauna, and made a lot of things. And maybe even caught the eye of a few alien civilisations.
But we're a flash in the pan. None of this is worth ego. None of it. Do the best you can do at being the most honest, and practical and upright person you can be, and then fall into the grave with the rest of us all. It's fine. You're only dirt in animation. What more did you expect? Stop trying to extract your hopes and hates out of people who are only trying to get on with their lives.
Anyway, this guy, this A-hole Guy, was so like like BLM/Antifa, and the Dems, dictating to me who I was, why I was guilty, dictating their lies, pushing their agenda by cowardly force. Using scare tactics to gain power. I really don't think I have done a good job of relating how these reprobates are so representative of the dysfunction that has overtaken our society. I keep trying, and I never satisfy myself that I succeed. Keep with me.
The point is, this is selfish, power-seeking fascism, now coming from the left. It's not like fascism, in Europe, didn't begin in the left, in the first place. I studied Europe, I researched archives in the U of W, I saw it happening before it happened. The liberal West LOVED fascism - in fact, the NYT erased stories of the holocaust - before it became just to big to conceal. Kinda reminds me of Cuomo. Of lying about available vaccinations. Of the border.
I urge every one of you to not bother about your political affiliations. Please return to reality, again. I don't care, the party. This is fascism, right now. The further along you go in believing the lies and the misrepresentations, the more messed up you get in your personal and social lives. And that makes bad neighbourhoods. And that makes bad economics. And that spells the end of this country. I am not being dramatic. How many trillions in debt do we owe to China, and yet we are infusing the economy with money like it grows on trees? That is Wiemar inflation. We have it so easy, but soon, we will be pulling out the gold in each other's teeth.
Listen. When somebody says they will not add me if I am a fan of Donald Trump, I now think they are normatively crazy. Crazy. They are saying that more than 1/2 the population has no relevance to them, because of something political, because of some fake-ass moral judgement they made. I look at this, and do you know what I see? People making themselves out to be bigger and more important than they are. It's a natural thing. But way way immature. You're telling me that over half the population is so despicable and horrible and beyond comprehension that you will not even talk to them, doesn't that say that you are a close-minded, fascist asshole? I think Yes. Lol.
Guess what, even though I have been attacked in this neighbourhood, for voting for Trump, when I cannot even vote. I support Donald Trump. Oh - that means I hate black people, and brown people, and women, and LGBT, and the environment, and bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh!!!!!!!!!! Blame blame blame blame blame!!!!!
I AM LGBT! I am the biggest environmentalist you are ever going to meet! I support the working people! And revised trade agreements! "Oh, Oh, you support Trump, because you hate, hate, hate!" Becomes, "We must up a wall against you around the capital, and noooo one should even question this!"
God, I am sick of this bullcrap, and even of talking about it. I mean, how many of you out there still buys into this hypocrisy? It's so obvious to me. Think for yourselves, You're the same as me! You've got all this pride and spirit invested in you! Do something with it! Get real! That's what this country is founded upon! Waking up! PROGRESSING! TOGETHER!
Racism racism everybody racist racism racism racism...
Go fuck that shit!
I am me, am Irish, am you, I am alive, I live to live, and get this world going a little better.
Fuck this racist bullcrap.
"Oh, everybody is attacking Asians because of Trump!"
Can't anybody see through this?! OMG, sometimes I don't even know why I post here.
I support Trump because he kept us out of wars!
I support Trump because he wanted to end the swamp bullcrap in WDC.
I support Trump because he opposed China's unfair economy and exploitation.
I support Trump because he is on the side of immigrants and workers.
I support Trump because he built up the economy, to the benefit of everyone.
Ohhh, so you hate black people! And you hate... and you hate... and you hate...!
You don't get to tell this monkey who he is, what he thinks, where he belongs.
This monkey is going to heaven.
And you won't add me because of Trump. When Trump is like .005% of who I am? Good, good sign, right there. It says this:
"Spineless, close-minded fucktard. Do not enter here!" Great. I can spot BS a mile away.
Who did I support? Clinton. Obama. Kennedies. Don't fucking come at me like I am some inferior creature because I support the policies of Trump, because you have your head up your racist ass.
I tell you what... Think a lot. Grow up. Get back to me in ten years. Otherwise, I am dropping anyone who sets Trump as a precondition. I mean what is that? "I wont add you because you like Trump, so I am virtue signalling to all my lib friends about how holy and white I am!"
I have just lost my patience with this....
"I won't add you if you like Trump!"
What is this crap?! Who are you to judge me?!
Trump bad, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump. Lie lie lie. Trump Trump Trump.
All the lies have been coming from the left. I am sorry, this is the reality. I am a scientist. I look out for you. I'm not spouting sibling-derived politics. I talk about reality. The lies are coming from the left.
"Now you know how black people feel!"
And do you? Do you have a clue about all the pain I have gone through? But you're going to sit on your ass and reprimand me for racism, when I am not even a citizen of your messed up country? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to accept that from anyone.
Here I am, proposing to add this girl. I'm telling her I'm a Mensch. I've always been cool with Jews. But I'm going to say what I see. And she tells me, "I will add you if you hate Trump." When Trump was the best friend Israel ever had. I just don't get how ignorant some people allow themselves to be.
They keep supporting this closed-minded BS, and what's going to happen, eventually? Detention camps for immigrants, for prisoners, for rioters, for blacks, for Jews. It is so, so alarming to me, that history is buried with the bodies. This girl who is telling me I need to hate Trump, which maybe, like I 33% do, what does she post in her LJ "interests"? NAZIs. She likes NAZIs. How telling is that?
The very same people who are coming down on you for your own so-called racism venerate NAZIs. Justin Treudeau, "I think the Chinese system is the best!" Planned Parenthood, "Sure we've aborted 40% of all blacks, why is that even questionable?" Bill Gates: "We need to depopulate Africa!" How is it that no one is seeing this?!!
Someone needs to tell these anti-Americans there is a new president in office, screwing up the border. They are still harping that Trump is the racist. What does it take, fgs?! Biden stole the election and they are still banning anyone associated with Trump. How do people get brainwashed like this? It's absolutely crazy.