I am the person who will destroy China. (madman101) wrote,
I am the person who will destroy China.

sex! on LJ!

Some people ask me, "madman, why don't you put down LiveJournal?  Why do you keep hanging on?  Why do you torture yourself, so, in this backwater woods of pointless social media?"

The answer is very simple.  I want sex.  I want to have sex with all the nerdy people on LJ, preferably with glasses on.

Sex is the only reason I am here.  Let's be clear about this.  I know I keep up trite formalities, but actually I want to be in bed with everyone here, preferably all at the same time.

Sex is the reason we are alive and so sex is ultimately the only thing I want when I post or comment on LJ.  Let's clear away the veneer.  LiveJournal is better than having sex with furniture, which, that's what you would all be doing, otherwise, admit it.

In the back of your mind, you are only hoping for sex, whenever you post or comment, even if you are thousands of miles away from someone, and you have no clue as to their actual lifestyle.  Sex ignores all that, especially if it is imaginary sex through LJ.  Am I wrong.

Every day, we get up, we do our stuff, and we run to LJ, to post about it, vainly hope that this will somehow bring us sex.  Sex and only sex.  Sex with ideas and sex with cyber bodies existing only in the front of the brain.  Sex with hope, sex with meaning, sex with possibility, sex with sex dolls and sex workers if it came to that, but mainly just sex with sex and sex sex sex, constantly sex, so you can tell your friends sex, and you can post about sex, and you can die with a happy sex smile on your face, remembering all the sex.

Tell me I am wrong.  Who among you is not here for the protracted orgasm?  Or am I missing something?  Am I conflating sex with literature or rock and roll or, like, feelings?  Get back to me on that.  Clearly all of humanity has only one thing on it's mind, and I am sure of it, because I know, and I have always known this!  What is it?

Sex with me!

The universe is trying to have sex with me all the time and how can I stop it?  If you feel I have reached this conclusion erroneously, then you must speak up, because then we can have sex, sex and endless sex!

I imagine all of you, lined up, waiting to have sex with me, but too cerebral to admit it, and all I have to do is say the magical word, that hit's you right in the sweet spot, and soon, you will all be over here, imitating porn videos. Am I right? Don't you all think this way? Of course you do! If not, clearly you need to get real. Sex is the only reason we do anything. We must have sex and sex and even when we are in church, it's all about sex. Sex is the sex which only sexes sex in a sexy sex sex sex.

Ha ha ha, I am so funny.

Tags: funny, my satire, sex

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