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* - galaxy

any comments from the gallery?

Posted on 2005.10.03 at 16:39
I wouldn't know about any of this stuff. It's via pinkpunkpornsta....



1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.

8.5 If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.

9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...

10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy..

11.5 Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!

12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.

13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.

14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.

15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.

16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.

18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.

19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.

20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding.

21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your GIRLFRIEND.

23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.

24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.

25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

26. Memorize their god damn birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.

27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.

28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. Jewelry is always nice.

29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.

30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

(If you have read this and you are a girl, then some of these things are actually really true...am I right?! And if you read this and you are a guy, then these are like the mother fuckin best tips you could ever get!)

Comments:


tarabara84
tarabara84 at 2005-10-03 22:00 (UTC) (Lien)

i like...

this is pretty good.. some are a lil exaggerated.. but hey its all good.. damn if could find a guy with all these qualities?? i wouldnt be single!! lol..
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-10-03 23:39 (UTC) (Lien)

Re: i like...

Hey yo - single is fun. And you get to shove/stick it to the wrong guy - what could be more fun than that. Enjoy yor single time - because all men are evil. Except me, of course.

I think maybe those country guys don't have a clue. So when Ash comes up to Madison, how bout we drop you off to go man-hunting? There's TONNES of great guys in that town!
Rachel
languor at 2005-10-03 22:01 (UTC) (Lien)
Nice list. :D From another gal's perspective...

2. Yes. We ALWAYS find out. Even if you're being super-sneaky about it. And we will dump your skeevy, cheating ass (I would hope).

7. In high school, one of my boyfriends was scared to hold my hand or put his arm around me for the longest time. I don't know if it was because my dad was in law enforcement or because I intimidated him or what, but it freaked me out. I felt like screaming "TOUCH ME, DAMN IT!" at him on a regular basis.

8. Seriously.

11. Ehh, I don't really like it when guys pay for my stuff. I feel bad when they do. A treat is nice once in a while, but the girl should treat her guy, too.

14. XD!

17. I hate chick flicks.

18. And if you don't like our pets, at least don't tell us, "OH I HATE (insert animal or breed here)" right in front of our faces. Or continually remind us that you do. Geez.

19. Yesss. So squicky.

20. Being freaked out at least isn't as bad as saying it flat-out doesn't exist. Or acting like you have the black plague if you mention you're having your period. Guys' hormones are ALWAYS raging, so why act like we're suddenly a bunch of Amazons because ours do for a few days? ;P

27. Yes, please. It's so douchebag-y when guys smell like they've bathed in cologne. Either that, or we'll think you don't bathe or something.

28. Even if it's something cheap, it should be something with some thought put into it.

29. Amen.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-10-03 23:33 (UTC) (Lien)
You know - I think these are pretty good too. And I feel so much richer getting back in touch with them again, because I am a relationship guy. I also especially like # 29 - gaining/keeping trust. If a guy doesn't realise the meaningful of that, then he has a long way to go.

But there are also girls who like guys who treat them like shit. And then there are girls who like a little of that. So, that's why it can get even more confuing.



7. In high school, one of my boyfriends was scared to hold my hand or put his arm around me for the longest time. I don't know if it was because my dad was in law enforcement or because I intimidated him or what, but it freaked me out. I felt like screaming "TOUCH ME, DAMN IT!" at him on a regular basis.
- That's so sad. Poor guy. Who knows, maybe he was a dork, or maybe he was one of those guys taking it super slow and special. But I'm cool with touching all girls to a degree. We're human beings. Just have to be responsible about it.

8. Seriously.
- somehow - I understand this - just naturally.

11. Ehh, I don't really like it when guys pay for my stuff. I feel bad when they do. A treat is nice once in a while, but the girl should treat her guy, too.
- everybody has their own pref. It depends on the moment. I'd say an average of paying about two thirds of the time is about right.

14. XD!
- this is true. But then - what if you don't like the girl enough for this. OH-OH!

17. I hate chick flicks.
- I LOVE chick flicks. Differences can be good.

19. Yesss. So squicky.
- "squicky"???!!! Agreed - but you know - for some reason, it gets tempting - almost as if the mom is living vicariously, and she wants to know how fun the guy will be for her daughter. But, yeah, you're right.

20. Being freaked out at least isn't as bad as saying it flat-out doesn't exist. Or acting like you have the black plague if you mention you're having your period. Guys' hormones are ALWAYS raging, so why act like we're suddenly a bunch of Amazons because ours do for a few days? ;P
- never had a prob w/ that

28. Even if it's something cheap, it should be something with some thought put into it.
- certainly!

Thanks. Good luck babe!
Taz
starlit_trail at 2005-10-04 00:40 (UTC) (Lien)
That's a pretty accurate list. :)

Ahaha, #3 is so true. They all get so uber protective.

Hmm. I expect a guy to offer to pay most of the time, even if I don't take up that offer.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-10-04 00:57 (UTC) (Lien)
3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

I don't know why this is true, but it is, and so what the hell, I have no prob with it. It's part of the game. I like teaasing it, though, sometimes, pretending I'm gay. Ah ha ha ha!

And I have no prob w/ the guy offering to pay. But I'm a new age guy, and the girl better fork up, or I'll lose interest fast.

Did I ever say how much I'm glad you're a friend? I am!
Taz
starlit_trail at 2005-10-04 09:02 (UTC) (Lien)
I'd feel icky and dependent if I let guys pay for me. I just like them offering to do so. Weird, I know.

Aww, I'm glad too. Warm and fuzzies galore!
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-10-04 10:33 (UTC) (Lien)
Yum - icky and dependent.

thanks

i don't feel so good at the moment though

oh well
gaspworthy at 2005-10-04 01:11 (UTC) (Lien)
We women are so fragile, you're right. We will break under the slighest bit of pressure, I mean, I get bruises EVERYWHERE....-snort- Ya, be careful, but we won't break.

Hah, great icon, too. Phish, you only wish you had this administration's sexiness.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-10-04 01:18 (UTC) (Lien)
Right on. I had a girl friend who bruised all the time and I thought someone was beating her. Turns out someone was. g&%&^$^#oi@$r4'iyuifhphg36
gaspworthy at 2005-10-04 01:27 (UTC) (Lien)
I'm not going to ask who, but when I hear about stuff like that I wish there was a way to take abusive boyfriends( don't know if it was her bf or not) and instead of sending 'em to jail just take some of the strongest chicks around and have them beat the shit out of 'em. That'd be good revenge.

I'm in a very mean mood, today, I see.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-10-04 01:37 (UTC) (Lien)
Be mean! I like it!

There should be a strong bitch patrol!

Well - I have to say - I was beig drawn into the dysfunction... so that's why I left... and a lot of people blamed me for being a jerk for that... but they didn't see what I saw.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2005-10-04 01:46 (UTC) (Lien)
Um... actually it was her son...

She was abused as a child, and she was bringing it all back to life...
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn
a_common_blow at 2005-10-04 03:25 (UTC) (Lien)
Icon love :D
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