I am the person who will destroy China. (madman101) wrote,
I am the person who will destroy China.

The wrong kind of children.

Our brains - the prefrontal neocortexes - do not fully form until around the age of 25. Prior to that age, our abilities to judge or to plan are immature. In parallel, we don't really know much about what is out there in the world, and what can make things work, or what pain is possible, or how to act, and so on. When we have parents who don't properly guide us in these developments, or when we have other afflictions like brain or mental illnesses, a violent neighbourhood, jackass siblings, poverty, etc., then discovering the real world, and managing it personally, becomes very, very difficult - as our minds remain drifting, imaginative, unrealistic blank slates, to a significant degree.

Lacking fair use of our frontal lobe, then we can easilly slide into dealing with the world via anger, hate, drugs, promiscuousness, crime, and so forth. Because, lacking frontal and parental development, society can push us into resorting to more reptilian thinking. During stressful economic and political times, much of a society - even if rather well developed otherwise - can slide out from forward, rational thinking and back into common denominators like rioting, corruption or war.

It amazed me, as a child, that a teacher would actually ask us what we wanted to be when we grew up. How in the heck should any of us know that?! As a child, how can you want to be something unless it is already a complete delusion or a parental fabrication? Like some kind of god-driven Manifest Destiny? So much time ahead, so many intervening events, so many roads, so many chances, so many risks. Yes, it takes putting the Will-before-the-Hearse for us to ever motivate anywhere in the first place.

And yes, it is possible to continue doggedly working on a childhood dream and to one day become a success - in fantastical areas of America, like Hollywood or NYC, etc. But, it is more of a insult to expect kids to know what they want twenty or thirty years hence, when they can't plan or judge for shit. It is some kind of communist-like indoctrination which commits kids to expectations, and even futures, which are aliens to their own souls - their own childish hearts of experiment, hope and awe. That's why so many thus-indoctrinated kids end up as depressives, mass-shooters, or maniacs out to control the planet. Manifest Destiny.

When I was a child, I played with toy soldiers, dinosaurs, trucks and the regular things. I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said, "Fireman." Cuz I had a tiny red firetruck. Later, in first or second grade, I was aksed what I wanted to be and I really want5ed to say, "A chair," ujust to mock the whole charade, but I probably said, "Fireman," which was already like I dunno how many years old by then, and I had no interest in being a fireman.

Meanwhile, in my life, I had a father than pretty much disappeared from my life into a haze of alcohol, work, anger, and just plain verbal nastiness towards me. What was I supposed to think? And, I have seen how entire families perpetuate these wrongs. Generation after generation - keeping, in fact, entire lineages within the same socioeconomic class over centuries. I became more interested in science, and medicine, and nature, and writing, etc., but these never really docked with anything my family was thinking. I am actually glad I wasn't one of these kinds of kids:

When I was young, I built roads and walls in the mud. I built little buildings and bridges. And I imagined to myself all the great things I could do if I were president...

I could build a massive wall!

I could start a Space Force!

I could buy Greenland for the U.S.A.!

I could stop hurricanes by nuking them right in the eye!

- The grandiose dreams of a child who likes to think big. Granted, Trump has his own M.O., and has lots of other more realistic things he is working on, some of them actually good, believe it or not. But, there are different types of people - and some people are just stunted kids who still don't know how to deal with the world other than narcissistically and so destructively. Suffer the children, because this starts very early on.

In fact, we have an entire system that cloisters kids into boring schools, for the most part, and shovels them all into corporate or service jobs before their pre-25-year-old brains are competent enough to really make decisions for their own spiritual selves. Not to mention all the body bags of war. States have taken over the guidance by parents, and so the morality, deformed it all, and convinced us, en masse, to fall behind big grandiose ideas. Manifest Destiny. Little do we know of their consequences.

It is no great revelation that we so continuously seem to be manipulated like little toy soldiers by giant overbearing children who have insatiable appetites for property, control, pedophile sex trafficking networks, and bizarre anti-establishment cults like, oh, Satanism. Revelations. I am not saying that trump fits these categories. In fact, I believe the suspicion that he was in on the Epstein fun is unwarranted, for one thing. But, Trump betrays a consistent problem running through corporate billionaire America, which sometimes is the very engine of our economy, which is kind of like the same thing as the teen assumption of invincibility or absolute rightness whatever the situation. Fortunately, most leaders of countries over the rest of the planet tend to be even more on some kind of insane Innocents Mission.

So, there is this tendency towards bargaining by putting the most grandiose demand on the table, to start things off. Fortunately, there are also grown-ups in this world who help bring a volatile Tragedy of the Commons back down to some civilised, moderate level.

But these big babies do tend to rise to positions of power, including in the professional world. There are the flamboyant corporate moguls, and there are the deceitful corpocratic politicians. And then there are the type who are like caged entrepreneurs, bitter and determined, who are very comfortable with cawing their way to the top, stepping on heads, stealing credit, manipulating, if even demurely. These are most of the people who rise to the illusory top, to tell us what is real, who we are, and what we need to do. Gifted by god, they are. Because it is written right there on the greenback. I think more this way: a conspiratorial cancer raping the planet. Too late, though, for this sort of constructive criticism, eh.

The only greater curse is the fact that we all reproduce like rabbits. Both problems, indeed, exacerbate each other. So that war sometimes appears as a sane way out of it all.

So now I will tell you a little more about the actual me-child...

I liked to hug my punching doll, rather than punch it constantly. I liked to sing a lot. I tried to play with girls, who bizarrely ran away screaming, and was so punished for chasing girls. My father called me 'silly', although I had never been taught what the word meant, and had no idea to what he was referring. He also called me 'twisted'. Or, how about this one, "You're LYING!" Or, this one, "You're no son of mine!" And so on. Old School Irish Catholic. I once got my father to take me to the woods, so I could look for plants and flowers illustrated in my science book, but he mainly insisted that I walk faster and stop looking. Same deal when we were walking to Church. I will stop there.

My older brother was even worse.

My sisters dressed me up like a girl, once, which was fun, because it felt like people were being sensitive to me. Attentive. My father told them to stop, as it was abnormal. Which I find understandable from his perspective. When one of my schools chose me to play the part of Virgin Mary in a xmas play, telling me I should be so proud, my father called the school and put an end to it. And I was happy he did, because it was an embarrassment. I had male friends, what do you expect.

I was interested in music, art, science, magic, comedy, shortwave, nature, food, etc., but I never felt encouraged in any way. Or assisted. Sometimes, I was just plain ridiculed. I stood for myself, nevertheless. And this helped inspire other relatives to branch out in their interests.

I was inclining myself towards empathy, which is natural, and should be cultured.

But this didn't stop the prevalence of idiocy, or Manifest Destiny behaviour, within and without. Why? Children start of as small pleasant animals. If they are not guided and encouraged, or if they are left to emulate jerks, they propagate primitive behaviour and thinking. The corporate elites of capitalism like it this way. An autocratic system does, as well. I am amazed, in this town, how almost everyone starts off with the premise that I have the mind of a child. It's just the thing to do. Because it is an infantile town.

Anyway, yes, as a child, I did play in the mud, building bridges and roads, and so on. It was fun - good training to be an architect. Somehow, some older teenish boy ended up playing with me, back there in the back yard. Which was fun. We both shared an interest in - landscaping, I guess. Well, my father stepped in, saying that boy must stop visitting. I continued on playing for some days after that, alone again, but moved on to other things. Like ants. And stuff.

But it is a good thing my father banned this boy. It later proved that this strange boy turned out to be gay. After all, it was weird that a boy so much older than me was playing with me in the mud. (I am glad I never had any gay experiences, growing up. Because I am not gay). But the more important thing was that this fellow grew up to be the very person I wrote so much about in my LJ: TCGGOTC - The Crazy Gay Guy On The Corner, (aka, Village Idiot).

As a grown-up, this monster competed to landscape the entire neighbourhood. He did little things to divide-and-conquer the neighbours. He was a whining, controlling, demanding asshole. That became especially obvious after he came on to me, while we were sitting on my front-porch steps, and I adroitly declined. The point is that this was a good example of what some stunted, unguided children can become, with their urgent missions and theirs schemes to manifest their very own world destiny, utilising whatever property and people as are available and expendable. On their innocent mission to glory, even if that be defined by the boundaries of a neighbourhood or city. These are grossly failure-people, inside, who are yet fueled by their human alienation to get and get, control and control, injure and injure. Ever failing, ever angry, ever consuming.

And, on their innocent mission, they often have this psychological need to rape the innocent.

So, there can be these bastards on every block, insisting that they are THE alpha male, all because of a lot of improper handling whilst they were growing up. Remaining a confused child, but then growing up into more of the form of a psychopath, more deviously mapping out the exploits of his ancient childhood fantasies. Now that he has a fore-brain.

Such is the character of the present A-hole Guy. The behaviour of the latter so resembles that of the former, I have a running suspicion that he may be a closet gay. Seriously. With all people who fight their way to the top, you have to keep in mind that they may harbour a lot of hypocrisy, corruption or deviousness, contrary to the face they give. After all, they are all succeeding in a realm which is vastly unnatural. The sad landscaping of our planet surely bears this out.

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