I am the person who will destroy China. (madman101) wrote,
I am the person who will destroy China.


Unusual, this time of morning, I had eggs and coffee. I have a tiny square frying pan, which turns out two eggs in an adorable, shit-together square. (One square egg fits nicely into a sandwich). And I cook them slowly, which is the best way to make tasty eggs. But I am only doing this to feed my hobbling, pain-addled brain. Sometimes, it is time for cholesterol, choline and biotin - all found in eggs - to try to relieve dementia-like conditions. Unfortunately, eggs really can harm a stressed cardiovascular system, you one must be careful about this. A brain - she is like a woman.

I have been sleeping even more, trying to foist off this demonic stone in my head. Besides sleep, this requires a kind of meditation, where one mentally, physically focuses thought, activity, "inside," the headache. This helps oxygen get in to bereft areas, reducing oxidative stress, and reducing the main problem: inflammation. (This is similar to when sex helps relieve a migraine).

The type of headache I am experience usually persists for days or weeks - and I feel this is because the affected area contains a kind of scar tissue, if not a mass of amyloid-β plaques. So, they require constant, religious attention. Oh, they are also hell - they affect thought and cause a kind of vertigo which apparently is not related to the inner ear, (although perhaps it is a problem of signalling to the inner ear).

These headaches are also related to the gut via the Vegas nerve, and apparently involve some deficiency of blood flow from an artery or aorta reaching that area of the brain, which is also associated with the Vegas nerve. When I focus energy 'inside' the headache, I can get the heart pumping harder, pushing that blood-flow in. How about that? But there can be a problem with pushing oxygen, blood sugar, etc., into the headache, which is this:

That area might just have shut out blood flow because some toxic process is associated with that blood flow, and consequent metabolism, (involving ATP, protein synthesis, and energy!) In other words, it might be a bad thing to get oxygen, or etc., in there. There may be a pathogen in there, there may be reactive immune chemicals in there, causing the inflammation. Or, the harmful immune activity may be responding to something outside of the brain, such as a pathogen in the blood. (It could be both).

I feel that eating sugar or fast carbs can feed pathogens like yeast, etc., which both invite this immune response and release toxins like formaldehyde into the bloodstream, whether or not the pathogens are in the gut or in the blood. Increased blood sugar, itself, can lead to inflammation, arteriosclerosis, and cancer. However, I see no current distinguishing between a direct influence of sugar and an indirect one involving pathogens. Both lead to inflammation.

There is a weakening of the blood-brain-barrier, (BBB), in people who have experienced concussions or trauma. That includes me, and other people w/ CFS. And this is correlated to dementia, as well. So, it is very possible that the BBB is letting in some new pathogen - even one considered innocuous like Candida albicans - or at least that it is letting in some new toxic molecule. Similarly, there can be a weakness in the intestinal lining of people with these and other illnesses, which is commonly referred to as Irritable Bowel Syndrome, (IBS). This coincidence may be helpful in figuring out the microbiology of such illnesses. And, possibly in conditions of IBS, otherwise harmless toxins are allowed in to the bloodstream. Candida A. can morph into three different forms, depending on conditions or strategy, from a dormant nodule to a speared attack mode which can insert into cells. Most doctors are unaware of this.

I personally feel that killing off pathogens in my gut, like yeast, helps reduce brain symptoms, or inflammation. This suggests but does not prove that my CFS migraines or dementia follow from a gut pathogen and not a brain pathogen. NOT CONCLUSIVE. CFS and other chronic illnesses have been found to manifest persistent abnormal gut biota. Alzheimer's involves guy problems, and I would assume the same is true for it. In my case, whatever the path, it feels as if my brain and heart and Vegas nerve have been commandeered by something wrong in my gut - but then the gut problem could actually be a consequence of said issues.

Anyway, the way I reduce gut pathogens is by using garlic, along with turmeric and other things. This seems to help the migraine areas of the brain want to open up to blood-flow again. Even though it is a slow, touch-and-go process. And there is never an exception to CFS asserting itself after exertion, stress, etc., no-matter what one tries to do. I.e,. ameliorations only succeed once the latest wave of CFS relapse is receding.

I took my dog out around 2:am this morning, as usual. Once again, there were people waiting to fuck with me a little. A car pulled into A-hole Guy's driveway and just sat there. I don't know if the guy was on his cellphone or what, but the usual participate is that cars pull up and sit, and the driver stares, meaning to intimidate, and watch that you do nothing a great white Satan would do. It is the same thing as when people stand outside their house and just glare, as described in the last post. Also, some kids or teens down the block saw me with my dog, and let out a concerted howling. We are back to the same idiocy that surrounded me when I first moved here 7 years ago.

Well, the point is: this is a perfect little example of how this place makes it impossible for me to write. Even in small instances, or stare-downs, or such, my CFS stress increases, and all the work I have done trying to reverse symptoms simply gives way to a cascade of illness. It is not fear. It is the fact that, like a tiny chemical fragrance or wrong food, sensitisation occurs and later spirals. Tonight, I returned to what i was writing about Charles Chaplin and found it now impossible!

If only these people could see what they are doing to each other, and to the less fortunate amongst them. They are all willingly making themselves extensions of A-hole Guy's racist ego. Well, I had to spend a lot of time working on my CFS this morning, just to get some balance again. Great - but why must I be forced into mopping up after bullshit when I have been dealing, alone, with my illness, already, for so many years?!

This post went a little long, and so I will get around to the fun stuff later. Time to rest.
Tags: brain - headaches, brain - meditation, health - cfs - 2 (cfs / my cfs) (& see m, health - heart - dementia, health - migraines, health - stress, health - vegas nerve, health - yeast / candida yeast, local customs, stupid fucking bullshit

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