where hypotheses come to die (madman101) wrote,
where hypotheses come to die
madman101

I'VE ONLY HAD A FEW GIRLFRIENDS IN MY LIFE, AND THEY ALL BEAT ME WITH A FIRE-HOSE.

I finally realised what mankind's problem is: Animals. There are too many animals competing for our oxygen. They are eating all our vegetables and farting into the ozone layer. If it weren't for animals, all this would never have happened. You know - all this, whatever. I mean, like, West Nile Virus - animals are giving us that. All those chicken flus coming out of China - it's not Chinese people - it's those damned chickens, who, like their conspirators, the pigs, are a kind of animal! AIDS - started with monkeys, dudes. Why do we end up getting blamed for all the shit that animals are throwing at us. And I DO mean shit. Look, if we got rid of them, we'd stop eating hamburgers and getting heart attacks. Am I wrong? Cholesterol is their little Trojan Horse. Look at us all fighting with each other in our species, when we used to be fighting megafauna! Come on! Let's get back to our roots and kick some ass! And I do mean ass. They are walking all around tamping the earth down, so when we fall down and hit our heads, it really hurts! They don't take hints and they come into our cities - coyotes, wolves, cougars, squirrels, flies - and they carry away our children and our barbeques. Flies are so obnoxious - I don't know what the hell good they do. They just fly up your nostril when you're driving and start commanding you to turn left! Stupid-ass flies goddammit! Animals suck. They make rednecks of us all. They have no class. They don't even work or go to school. It's like all they want are hand-outs from us. Well, I'm telling you, this is going to stop. This ain't no fucking welfare state. Imagine how many more people we could squeeze on Earth if we killed all the farm animals?!! A LOT! Cheese and milk - like we really need these? Have we forgotten our own mammalian breasts!?!?! What has become of us? We are becoming their slaves. And pets.... pffffft! Oh - don't get me started!... They lead us around on a leash so they can sniff other pet's assholes and crap on our sidewalks. And they say - if you want more of this, it's gotta be Science Diet tonight! Well, I for one am not taking it anymore. Look at those birds up there laughing at us, talking their secret bird-talk! We need to give them the boot - we could build an entire new glorious civilisation just by making them the enemy, and exterminating them forever. Imagine all the roads we could build, and cars we could create, and soap bars we could sell. I say to hell with animals. No one would miss them because they don't even have souls. They were put on earth to be slaughtered, because they don't FEEL - ANYTHING. Dumb-asses. Lick my elbow, will ya?! Earth was made for Homo Sapiens! All other life forms are like those white plastic peanuts you get in boxes of aplliances that are shipped to you - they need to be disgarded and scattered to the winds.



Animals - Talking Heads - (Fear of Music)

I'm mad...And that's a fact
I found out...Animals don't help
Animals think...They're pretty smart
Shit on the ground...See in the dark.

They wander around like a crazy dog
Make a mistake in the parking lot
Always bumping into things
Always let you down down down down.

(down go the animals!)

They're never there when you need them
They never come when you call them
They're never there when you need them
They never come when you call them down down down down.

I know the animals...Are laughing at us
They don't even know...What a joke is
I won't follow...Animal's advice
I don't care...If they're laughing at us.

They're never there when you need them
They never come when you call them
They're never there when you need them
They never come when you call them down down down down.

They say they don't need money
They're living on nuts and berries
They say animals don't worry
You know animals are hairy?
They think they know what's best
They're making a fool of us
They ought to be more careful
They're setting a bad example
They have untroubled lives
They think everything's nice
They like to laugh at people
They're setting a bad example
(Go ahead) Laugh at me.
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