Log in

No account? Create an account
août 2019   01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
duh - lindsay drunk

Goodbye to Lindsay Lohan

Posted on 2019.03.09 at 12:18
In my LJ heyday, it was known that I was a great fan of the Lohan. I added a Lindsay Lohan on LJ. I was one of her few friends. We only communicated a few times, and then all her activity stopped. I thought it was a dead jnl, for years.

Today, I posted, after a many-month absence. And all of the sudden, Lindsay Lohan deletes here jnl. This leads me to believe that whomever she(?) was, had been following my jnl all this time - or else it was just one of those glitchy quirks - or maybe it was some fiendish lost friend or family member who had been spying on my jnl all this time. But, if it was Lindsay Lohan, I feel bad. Like I have let her down. And, if I can let Lindsay Lohan down - then I don't think I can really grab anybody else in the world, getting them all inspired, etc. I mean, basically, Lindsay Lohan was my target audience. I am a failure to the human race.

So, anyway, I was hit by several insults last year. The stress made me very ill, and I ultimately became somewhat blind in my right eye. Yes, my computer has been offline all this time, but I have also been visually handicapped. It is now difficult to use the computer. CfS makes light, LED's, etc., a bother to me as it is. Even though I have been slowly regaining some health, so to speak, I now have a serious, permanent problem here.

I will be getting glasses via medicaid, which will take 4 months, but these will not be the final solution. I seriously need Lasik eye surgery, which is about $1,600 per eye. Add this to the fact that I still have a bad tooth that needs to be pulled and replaced, and also a tooth missing in the front, I am pretty much set for life as far as poverty goes.

At least I finally got logged online today and dealt with bills. I am so glad that I have auto-Bill-Pay, which takes care of real life when I am lost in the throes of virtual death. (I also had the flu lately). However, bills change, and increase, and payments become inadequate. AND, there came up a certain emergency which I had to address before it spiralled any more out of control. So - I am glad to get all that out of the way. Now, I can concentrate on my second major project which needs to be done immediately: Write to Social Security once again to reassert my claim that I am indeed disabled.

I have unable to do such things for months. So, I guess working on my SS claim is like some kind of holiday for me - a respite from my 24/7 Herculean occupation for which I garner no respect - quite the opposite. I look at all the healthy Americans and they impress me as being nothing but spiritual and psychological retards. And if they hear that I must avoid light, etc., because of CFS, then they shall scoff and gossip that I am a conspiracy theorist. And if they hear me say that I have been offline because my computer was hacked they shall further call me qa conspiracy theorist with a persecution complex. And if they know I am poor then they shall know thay are blessed in their conspiracy.

"See that headstone? It always blames other people!"

"I know. I am so jealous. It is so immoral!"

"And see how it sits there, always leaving us."

"So irresponsible, and immature. Death is not at all wise like us!"

"See it press deeper and deeper into the dust by the tread of our endless vain patter of petty little feet, off to eat up the rest of the planet and call ourselves divine."



The one good thing about death is that it always delivers us from itself.

"Headstone doesn't care."


st_martin_a at 2019-03-10 16:17 (UTC) (Lien)
Well, I'm suppressing your posts.
I just admit - I had to look Lindsey Logan up. She sounded familiar but I didn't know who she was.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2019-03-10 16:23 (UTC) (Lien)
I don't know what you mean, "suppressing." And I don't know why you would look up "Lindsey Logan" when I was referring to Lindsay Lohan. But of course you must be right.
divinelyelegant at 2019-03-12 10:13 (UTC) (Lien)

All I can say is, *hugs*.

I’m still winding down out from a week of my own flareup misery, which started with a day of rest that deemed insufficient, as two days later I a) couldn’t grip anything properly b) couldn’t lift my empty dinner plate as it was too heavy c) after showering and dressing having both arms shaking under the pressure from the effort of what should be mundane tasks. I guess what I’m saying is while we have different symptoms I understand what it’s like to look at “the healthy” and feel in a different world and battle the emotions and limitations that come with that. Especially when our world is invisible to those who have not experienced it themselves. I’m still waiting on a proper diagnosis. Have you got a network/support group? I’m looking for something online for people with similar issues to bitch and moan and lean on each other.

where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2019-03-12 19:08 (UTC) (Lien)
Hey! Thank you!

I appreciate this comment, and I hope you feel well soon.

I wrote you a nice long response, and then my computer shut down, so it was lost, argh. I need to revamp my computer now. This could take a week, but I really want to give you a proper response. until then, take care. And Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
Previous Entry  Next Entry