Next item on the agenda: We must all write LJ and ask them to STATE in the "Interests" area whether we should say "The Cranberries" or just "Cranberries". I have been so upset over the present dichotomy - splitting all LJ users into two camps for every fucking rock band, almost, pert near. I prefer the alphabeticalisable form, with no definitive - or is that indicative.... of something.... Others think, "it's just not a band without the THE!" I suppose I can see this... I mean, The Who certainly seems more sensible than simply Who??? But give us some credit, LJ, for the massive brains that we must carry around all day, seeking to hide them away given every opportunity until at last we realise we are nothing but gelatin molds. Perhaps with a little vodka added.
So - what else - Oh - Of course yesterday was WEIRD! Of course Bush was in the news! It was Sept. 11!
Took dog for walk, and into PetSmart. She was actually pleasant to be around today. Jesse kept walking near me, and smiled once - then I smiled directly at her. Why don't we ever talk anymore? Checked out with ... "Dana" ... and more fucking magic. MAKE IT STOP!
My new love is the new girl at the gas station, Krystal. Reminds me of - boo hoo - Angie, with a slightly Lindsayfied face. (I think I'll go to SB instead of the ERC tomorrow. This is called comspicuous absence). I bought some cigarettes and Krystal carded me, and then talked about my glasses. Didn't even notice that I am 97!
So - well - I must explain something here. I have a touch of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I get migraines, and attention-span/memory problems at tme. Before a migraine comes on, I already start missing discrete info - that means that I start becoming more insensitive to people's feels, too. I also get impatient and stubborn and neglectful... Then, when the heavier illness hits, I go to bed - incapable of dealing with anything or anyone. I spend a lot of time in bed.
Tonight I had a migriane that fortunately I was able to subdue - for now - which is a rare success for me. Anyway, I am saying sorry to Laura about this. Most of the time I try extremely hard to be sensitive to people - maybe to make up for my millions of mistakes. I am not evading responsibility by blaming rudeness on my illness - or if I am, I am also saying that most everyone elses rudenesses are also attributable to such mortal or physical flaws.
I also get insensitive because I realise so much of life gets ahead of me - I am completely unable to accomplish the goals I desperately want to - because illness keeps knocking me down. I am SO MANY YEARS behind in my life. It gets very frustrating. And I want to do justice to EVERYTHING. I want to pay respect to that cricket, or help when and where I am needed, to give the best response to someone to make them happy, to look good and healthy so people feel good around me, to be fun and funny, to get my bills paid on time, to stop going into overdraft, to build this park that's just lying there, and so on. So, I don't want to read anything beautiful or sensitive from anyone I care about UNTIL I KNOW THAT I CAN APPRECIATE IT.
Also, I get pissed when I hear that girls have boyfriends!
KRIS! DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND. IT WILL KILL ME! OR - GET RID OF HIM NOW. I'LL BE WORTH MILLIONS IN TEN YEARS.
Which reminds me - I have a bunch of silly inventions. You folks let me knows who can help me capitalise on this - going into business, patenting, marketing, etc.
But my writing comes first. THE IDEAS COME FIRST. THE IDEAS LAST FOREVER...