"a killing field for hypotheses" (madman101) wrote,
"a killing field for hypotheses"
madman101

A Prayer to Saint Martin

I have died and can no longer function - m4mw (chicago)

This is not a song by Morrissey, but an ad in CL by a forlorn black man.

I have died and can no longer function - m4mw (chicago)

age: 37
I am a mature black American man. I have had good jobs and a decent life I'm not bitter but just find that I have the worse strain of luck. I figure its something I did or am doing wrong. I honestly have given up and find that I can no longer make decisions' for myself. I have no friends they always hate me and treat me bad. I guess I do bad things like pay a roommates' bills for him or bring food to eat. I don't bring enough money for people to take and steal to have drugs and sex parties or whatever else they want money for to leave me alone. I have a great job opportunity but when I start working people want to kick me out of my living space. I have to worry if my laptop is stolen. I go to be with family and people harass them and me when we try to have quite time alone with family. Its no right or wrong I guess its just me that's the problem. I shouldn't work or do projects. I guess when I spend the day being moral and prayerful I come home to a roommate whom wants to break up dishes and put his hands in y face. I cannot live with my family. I rarely see kids or loved ones. They all consider me a bad guy. People on buses call me a fraud and a thief. If i stole why am I broke and alone. Why have people around me suffering? Why do I have to go sleep on the streets because I cannot have a peaceful home. I ask God why I am pained and suffer like this. What are the decisions' that I have done. I just want all the sorrows to go away. I guess I am solely responsible. I guess I deserve more agony and more pain. My life has been horrible since 2001. I cannot even feel safe. People have died here and every where I go their is drama and death.

I just submit to whatever evil force wants to destroy me and whatever it is they want they have have including my life.

I don't want anything in return as I can see now that I have been stripped of all my dignity and am nothing.

I will take responsibility for all the problems or whatever the powers of the world or universe want.


reply by email: qccqc-6535825190@pers.craigslist.org


Here's a chance to reach out and help this person, esp. if you happen to be st_martin_a. Just beware that there are many posts on CL, real or not, which end up asking for money or personal info. Also, this article popped up - for compare/contrast - ‘God Made Me Black on Purpose’.

Speaking of ethnicity: False St Patrick’s Day cliches that drive Irish people crazy

I also found the ff CL posts to be mildly interesting...

Exploring the universe - m4m

Bored intellectual - m4m (Whitewater)

I've lost interest in my interests. - m4w (Madison)

Different Animal Activities!? - w4m (Rockton)

Yes, I was a Rodeo Clown - m4w (Northern Illinois)

I think a solution for some of these people would be to join LJ. And also for people fleeing the corporate rudeness and HS childishness of FB.

I have been dealing with the flu, on top of hangover. Just slowly crawling out of it. I think I might re-watch and study my 3 Will Rogers movies, starting today. I have four voicemails to deal with...
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