My CFS has been suckness lately. The walking exertion of Tuesday left me with very bad brain troubles, so I haven't been able to think or do much. It is still attacking me. Lately, I have pushed my way through a few movies. But this morning I did some major snow-shovelling. When it looked like I was done, the jackass next door yelled something. I have been doing this for 5 or six years here - they are new here. If they don't like it they should find some other hellhole neighbourhood. They live like pigs, walk through yards, and try to intimidate people. Meanwhile, the old crazy man downstairs is in some shovelling competition with me. When he first moved here, he seldom shovelled. He stomped around and banged on the walls incessantly. He played games with his garbage cans, etc. Now he shovels. He is much quieter. He wears a new winter coat that looks just like mine. He got a new car that looks like my funky windbreaker - after hearing me always saying, "Boosaroo!" every time a Subaru sponsorship would be mentioned on, "Prairie Home Companion." Boosaroo! (That's Subaru) pronounced backwards. Yes, his car is now a Subaru...
He has immitated everything he has heard or see me do, including chumming up with my LL, whom I now regret to be an idiot in certain ways - such as stupidly making my life worse as this psychopath simply exploits her gossip. So - the point is - where do these creepy monkey people come from? Immitation is not flattery when these closet bullies do nothing but try to own your life and dispose of you. How many movies have been made of this theme. Unfortunately, it is not a rare phenomenon - it is everywhere, at least in Illinois. All the sane people have been leaving this state, but nobody every really looks at the social mental illness here as a possible cause. If you mention it here, you are branded as thin-skinned, or completely CRAZY. AS THE INNITIATOR OF THE PROBLEM. And all the dregs just count on this dys-ethic to embolden and enable their disease. Conservatives let it happen because they just want to ignore the poor or mentally ill. Liberals let it happen because old men, blacks, other minorities CAN DO NO WRONG.
I should be one of those minorities in their eyes, since I have a disability. However, that disability is invisible to the stupid. Even while I am subconsciously denied because I am ill, I am consciously blamed for NOT being ill. It's absolutely crazy. Instead, I am culled for the reason that I am a fine white male with undo privilege and a sense of entitlement, entitling everyone around here to endlessly try to pilfer my spirit, my dog, my happiness, my mere survival. The Spirit-Stealers. I go about my business, and whites who don't know my situation are completely wonderful to me, especially if they are conservatives, disgustingly trying to involve me in their racism against all blacks. On the other hand, blacks and many white liberals enjoy setting me into any petty disadvantage they can think up. Even while I detest racism either way, it is a fact that a great many of the blacks around here are racist bullies towards the cowardly whites. This is what America was made to be?
Well, some months ago, the jackass racist black next door yelled at me for absolutely no reason - plus various other bullshit. All I do is mind my business, tend to my dog, and act decent to other people, except for those who take advantage of this. I don't understand why we cannot evolve as a species beyond this mean animal psychopathology. This guy yelled at me to control my dog, out of his complete fear, even though I was clearly controlling my dog, who is so obviously lovable. After that incident, seriously 2/3'd of the neighbourhood started acting like my dog was a super monstrous killer. Because of the gossip and the blame, siding with the new BULLY - not me - even though I have been here for 5-6 years! DEMONSTRATING how I respect everyone, and how decent my dog is. Instead, all these people started stopping on the sidewalk half-a-block away, yelling at me for my dog, asking or demanding me to control him. I have NEVER seen such a bizarre example of perverse human behaviour in all my life.
The BULLY is right because he's black, like them!
En masse, they are virtually BEGGING white people to be or become racists against them. That's the truth. They are deriving their sense of self from perpetuating the whole concept of white racism.
Anyway, I am not here to criticise blacks. Whites are just as bad, in their own ways. I am generalising here, of course. As far as I am concerned, mean jerkwads can be white or they can be black, but their jackass racist or dysfunctional behaviour makes them BOTH the definition of BOTH 'niggers' and 'crackers.' White and black both. They are both the same thing. Any group which tries to lord power over another, where they control the local group, or politics, or money, or weapons, or property, or age/muscle/masculinity/etc. - it is all the same crap. And it is time we start recognising the deeper psychological problem/s in America which are shared by all factions, whether one group calls it white racism, or another group calls it black racism, or so on.
Anyway, since I was outside shovelling the other day, the bald-headed idiot downstairs - who is white - decides he MUST come out and shovel at the same time as me, even as he knew this would make my dog all jumpy. Believe me, after two years of this guy's behaviour in the past - all committed to my notes for possible legal reasons - this guy KNEW what he was doing. To stop my dog from jumping around, I had to give out a big shout, "Stop!" That did the trick, and we went calmly inside together. Sadly, my dog did not get his chance to do his daily exercise, because of this freakish parasite man.
Well, in the next two days after that, when I was outside shovelling, or with my dog, the asshole guy NEXT-DOOR and his wife start screaming loudly at me, while safely hidden in their house. Now, I see it as being inconsistent that this BULLY idiot is now screaming stpidly for the fact that I actually CONTROLLED my dog, when that was what he innitially had SCREAMED at me to do in the first place, back when he was trying to establish his dominance of everything in the neighbourhood - coward that he is. So - beyond this amusing fact, now the old bald guy downstairs is being emboldened by hearing them hating at me, and he is once again becoming more of a jerk. He is waiting for the time when he can join forces with the BULLY, whom he has been afraid of so far, (and the bully's wife), and come down on me.
See what I am saying? I am here minding my business, with bigger and better things to deal with than this petty retarded game played by a bunch of unevolved two-year-olds, including THIS SEVERE ILLNESS, my writing, my dog, etc. Their game is starting to try to close in on me, simply because they hate themselves and their are envious of something about me - and they fear my dog - JEALOUSY.
This is how society closes in upon itself and reverts to pogroms, and wars, and broken economies, and anything but progressive evolution! People react to their own jealousy, reinterpret it as righteous 'morality', and then actively blame the OTHER, whether that person or group has any relevance to causation or not. And, I am saying: IT IS COMING FROM BOTH WHITES AND BLACKS, in the same disease! - Even though it is later separated into this racism or that racism, and so on, with group now being played against group by the partisan and the elite. A great example of this pathetic yet real, tragic cancer inherent in human civilisation, especially in agri-urbanised (through history), can be seen in the movie, "Mother!" which was referred to me by the great LJista, "bird_and_fox". (See akso, "Noah").
My brain is currently all awry, like much of it is being eaten alive. That is why you are now getting this negative yet profound post. I look at the reality I can see best. But I will not to be a good LJer for a while, because more snow and illness is coming. I might try to do a few little easy posts, but probably just more movies for me... THIS post was begun yesterday, while I was ill as well - then it disappeared - then my browser disappeared!
I want to post about movies soon, but can't right/write now. So, I will give some hints of some movies I've seen lately. Can you guess the movie?
1 - Man Wrongly Imprisoned Dies - (September, 2001)
2 - Sam Rockwell returns with a beer-belly; and the town is full of white trash loonies.
3 - McDoormat and Herrelson did this even before #1. Soundtrack was largely Bob Dylan but maybe it should have been Prince, since it was set in mid 1980's.
4 - These two movies were mentioned in the rant(?) So, I next have to see the one with Portman and Kunis...
5 - This wedding-themed movie had a couple of knuckleheads, with both fine acting and sloppy crassness mixed together.
6 - This Irish young woman with the strange name tries to play a teenager again: movie?
7 - Made by a renowned cultish director, this dystopic movie was a bore, ending with a gun to the head.
8 - Preceded "Eternal Sunshine" and succeeded "Matrix" - kind of a heady flop w/ a great soundtrack!
9 - Trying now to really study HS coming-of-age movies, I watched this where the girl actually has sex w/ teacher - (a devolution of the John Hughs movies)...
10- Speaking of which, I need to see one of my old favs, starring someone who starred in #5. Hint: someone who worked on this movie just died.