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eek /crazy - manson

Goodbye, California

Posted on 2018.01.18 at 19:58
California has always represented the American Dream, i.e., Manifest Density. From Spaniards looking for Eldorado, to the gold and silver rushes, to the building of the railroads, to Hollywood, to Mexican immigrants, to the Flower Children and the summer of 1967, to Governors Bonzo, Moonbeam and Terminator, Anaheim's ska revival, to progressive improvements in consumer safety standards, auto emission standards, confronting global warming, allowing people to vote by referendum - always leading the nation. I'd love to move to San Francisco, but prices there have all gone up, due to the latest trend: hipster and techie artificial intelligence. But, I used to dream of California. At least as a jumping-off point on my way Down Under. Now it's got weed, so nobody needs to go anywhere.

But now it's just another show. A non-stop newsreel of mudslides, fires, droughts, dwindling lakes, global warming, dying seals, globs of gunk in the ocean, Fukushima radiation, intense wind and rain storms, missiles and comets, mass-shooters, Hollywood sex abuse scandals, invasive and evasive compu-net corporations, rising prices, byzantine social welfare, homelessness - and now, a houseful of deprived, malnourished 'children'. There are feminists in California who demand that children's bodies be vaccinated against their will. There are Democrats who look like they are gaming to be the next best flavour of fascism. So much for the future of America, and its children, as represented by the promise of California.

Good luck being a kid and fleeing to L.A. to try to make your fortune. I don't think so. Have you considered Guam?

In my salad days, I went on a road trip with three of my friends, driving all around the West for a month. One stop was in San Diego, which was so beautiful and, because of all those negative ions, and sunshine, so relaxing. We stayed for a night or two with some relations of one of my friend - in a big, rich house with everything, including a pool, and a basement that looked like another whole house.

I was entranced. Especially with the daughter. We played her clarinet, late into the night. And then we had to leave, and I never knew her ever again. California was so charming, and all-around wonderful, I guess I figured that California people just go through that sort of thing all the time: Easy-come, easy go. Cool people have more cool things to move on to. Big things. Expensive things. I never once entertained the thought that this girl might have actually wanted to know or see me more - me, a guy from the lower middle-class Midwest who thought that babies were born shrink-wrapped in giant condoms. I lied about the last part.

I never forgot that night, and the 'perfection' it told me life could be. Something my life never really became. Although mushrooms came close.

Back in high-school, I was visitting a newer friend, with a few other friends. This guy had been on stage with me, and had followed our path of making movies for school. And all that. We were the creative rebels of the creative rebel scene. here we were in his house - another big, rich house - doing stuff. In our antsy awkward pushy male bonding way.

And there was his sister. Playing music. The Beach Boys...

"The warmth of the sun..."

Is there a more beautiful Beach Boy song? I was amazed at how beautiful it sounded. I felt as if I was in love. Who was this girl? "Oh, she's just, you know, doing that... She's in a Beach Boy phase..." I guess she was two grades younger than me, maybe three - but I was like, "Let's drive a woodie to a drive-in and share a sundae NOW!"

She was another one of those perfect girl-creatures that completely slipped through my life, and went away, into memory - almost as if memory was all there ever was.

I recently checked-out a copy of a Beach Boy's, "Greatest Hits: Volume 2" So, I listened to, "The Warmth of the Sun," on headphones, thinking about these things. I wondered this: I wondered if my buddies had told others of the wonderful night I had in Sand Diego, with clarinet girl, and how it really hit me. Maybe this next girl was actually trying to attract me, when I came over to see her brother, by playing Beach B0oy music - trying to remind me of San Diego! After all these years, this is the first time I ever thought of that possibility! But, by now, you and I both know: Sometimes. Some girls. They do that. Right?

Well, what ever came of any of it? Nothing. I went through fame and insane and great expectations and defamity and now this long, endless aloneness - and it seems that California was nothing but another dream I must let go of. California no more. Goodbye, California.

You had your day in the sun.




What good is the dawn
That grows into day
The sunset at night
Or living this way

For I have the warmth of the sun
(Warmth of the sun)
Within me at night
(Within me at night)

The love of my life
She left me one day
I cried when she said
"I don't feel the same way"

Still I have the warmth of the sun
(Warmth of the sun)
Within me tonight
(Within me tonight)

I'll dreams of her arms
And though they're not real
Just like she's still there
The way that I feel

My love's like the warmth of the sun
(Warmth of the sun)
It won't ever die
(It won't ever die)

Songwriters: MICHAEL LOVE, BRIAN WILSON
© Universal Music Publishing Group
For non-commercial use only.
Data From: LyricFind

Comments:


wanderipity
wanderipity at 2018-01-19 09:14 (UTC) (Lien)

Hahah, I like this post! I live in San Diego :)

where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2018-01-20 04:29 (UTC) (Lien)
Even though that is a conservative city, I really loved it! You are so lucky to live there. I think I have one or two other LJ friends living there. Maybe I should connect y'all up.

Hey - did you add me on Dreamwidth? Some amazing Philippine girl added me there and I added her back - but idk where she came from...
wanderipity
wanderipity at 2018-01-20 19:36 (UTC) (Lien)
San Diego is a bit more open minded to be called conservative.. lmao.

Uhh, I don’t use dreamwidth.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2018-01-20 21:37 (UTC) (Lien)
You're right - definitely in comparison to most USA cities. But not to most California cities - plus it has a navel base. But I think of it as being conservative more because people there are pretty happy with what they've got. In a good way.

I've heard there is an artistic scene there, too.
katiecregon
katiecregon at 2018-01-20 01:07 (UTC) (Lien)

No regrets

I Love California

I love California.
If it tumbles into the sea, I’m going with it.
If it drys up and blows away, I’m blowin’ too.
If it burns up in a fire, I’ll bring marshmallows.

Washington and Oregon are nice.
Colorado and Utah too.
But I’m always glad to come home.

I was born in one place.
And grew up in another.
Those were other people’s choices.
This one is mine.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2018-01-20 04:14 (UTC) (Lien)

Re: No regrets

That's coo

Cuz I do too

And so I cry

Imagine how I feel about Sidney.

My purpose is to arouse you.
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