I am the person who will destroy China. (madman101) wrote,
I am the person who will destroy China.

Elephants and Evolution - Part 1

We don't know if elephants came from outer space but what we do know is that, before the evolution of modern humans, elephants lived on all continents, building pyramids, machines and great sea ports. This advanced civilisation even began a space programme to the moon, but canned it at the last minute because they decided that bringing back cheese would only cause a global increase of mice, (who were to them as, say, mice are to us today). Terrestrial cheese was invented many, many centuries later, only after someone realised that when the term, "Who cut the cheese?" was used, no one had an explanation. Although the Elephantine Civilisation had vast networks of electrical communications, it got along just fine without inventing computers, which were obviated by the fact that elephants never forget. And... no cell phones... cuz of those big ears! Even today, the few remaining elephants in Africa can hear every word you say. And they are planning their return. One day.

"How did this civilisation collapse?" you may ask. A giant asteroid? Global warming? Lemmings? No, it was simply market dynamics. The elephants got fat watching too much baseball. One company, in the area of modern-day China, produced all the baseball game peanuts, which reduced quality, as they cut corners and cheated. One year, a plague of aflatoxin infected the crop, and caused all the elephants to become romantically attached to mice, of course, who were communists.

Today's post represents the TENTH (or 12th) tagged post I have made about elephants! (It represents that because that's what it is). Let us all trumpet our praise for our dear fellow mammalian brain-walkers!


Congratulations, elephants! You know you deserve it!
Tags: animals - elephants, my funny posts - & see funny

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