September 15th, 2021

pink floyd - dark side

fall back boy

So, far, it looks like plans are off for today.  I am having one of my vascular brain issues which I can't even describe to you.  My body is tottering between improving and falling back into relapse.  Looks like more resting and packing, esp. since my computernet is back to being impossible.

Yesterday was a bad fatigue relapse.  If I were always in that state, I would commit suicide.  If I could even manage that.  The reason I don't commit suicide is because, eventually, my brain clouds slowly start clearing.  It's a long process, between inflammation subsiding and blood and oxygen getting back into my cells.  And the process gradually moves outward to the more advanced or sensitive areas of the brain.  Gradually moving from complete disinterest and pain towards the sense that life has some meaning.

People don't understand that when I am in that relapse state - which is actually one of a number of types of relapse - I am capable of nothing.  Nothing.  It's not like I am tired and can be helped by someone - I can't even think and communicate, at least without getting even worse.  Anyway, I had two main thoughts about relapse, and have forgotten #2, so maybe later.
cf /duh - lost brain

Day 2 incapacitation

I got insomnia last night and that is partly to blame for the very bad day today.  Imagine your brain being roto-rooted, or aborted, or you wake up after someone knocked you out with a large wrench.  What is actually happening, I think, is that my body is yet again rooting out whatever pathogen has proliferated - maybe yeast, maybe micoplasma, maybe  virus, maybe plaque, I don't know.  But this usually happens after a relapse, when inflammation goes down and access to my cells opens up again.  So, I actually have waves of relapse/recovery.  100% incapacitated most of today and yesterday.  Now I am crawling out of it, and wanting to get everything accomplished.  It is almost certain that I will be able to do a fair amount tomorrow. Did take a deep bath today. Weather has cooled down for now.
pink floyd - dark side

Brain Differences In Liberals and Conservatives

An interesting idea, of course.  Probably true, in some ways.  But there could be so much wrong with this 2011 study performed by two liberal universities.  How do you define each camp?  Did each camp contain a 50/50 proportion of sexes?  Ages?  What does "conservative" or "liberal" mean, as defined by current politics?  Many people who call themselves Democrats (liberals) actually display hallmarks of conservative thinking and behaviour.  Many black "democrat" neighbourhoods are very patriarchal, territorial, resistant to change, homophobic, etc.  Many republicans are libertarian or even libertine on social or on economic issues, or in personal behaviour.  So, there's all that.

Then you can get biases in reading the results.  This blip seems to say that since liberals are more accurate (about conflict?) that's why they can seem like flip-floppers.  What?!  And, sometimes it's not as good to be accurate as it is to be alive.   But, as far as accuracy goes, I've seen almost nothing but inaccuracy from the DNC Dems, on every issue.  But maybe that's because they are actually conservatives.  And so many of today's republicans are speaking up, rationally, sounding like JFK Dems of the 60's.  Meanwhile, they are labelled as wildly irrational Trumpsters.  Larry Elder was racially attacked, physically, and was called, "The Black Face of White Supremacism."  Absurd. Democrat is not liberal and republican is not conservative. This is actually a nonsense study, it seems. Highly inaccurate. I have't read the actual study though. Who has time?

Brain Differences In Liberals and Conservatives