May 13th, 2020

* - Elephant of Life

You're no species of mine!

Monday night, I dreamt that I was back in my HS, and noticed something wrong with it's "chimney". Some kind of colourful beam was shooting out of it. Later in the day, the "furnace" malfunctioned and the HS burnt down. Friends and I escaped into the woods. There, we encountered a dangerous tiger. Younger dreams mean healing, and tigers usually represent energy in CFS.

"Last night", I dreamt that I had returned to journalling via pen and paper. I wrote my "refutation" or "repudiation" of McKinley. I also canoed out to an island off the coast of Maine. Then later returned. It was a reliving of my HS days when I was into Thoreau. reading, "The Maien Woods." My father was indelicate with my reading or writing interest, in the dream, as in real life. My father and I had a paper route, once. He was disappointed because, once or twice, readying at 5:am, I lay down on the bathroom and fell asleep. Little did my father understand that I had pre-CFS, and night-person genes. So, I let him down - but he let me down when I was younger, rushing through the woods instead of stopping to look at flowers, which I thought was the point of our little day we were supposed to have. "Stop dragging your feet!"

This is a song I heard again recently, which recalls something that my father actually did say to me, more than once:

or try -

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What is to be done?