January 14th, 2020

cf - too tired

a classic case

My secretary tells me I have two giant things to do today.  However, heart/brain/fatigue have been forbidding.  To even have a chance to do something, I must take a deep hot bath.  To this end, I checked for my shaver, and it is absolutely nowhere to be found - anywhere.  It's very weird.  And, no, I haven't been drinking.

I had a shot to be up to my plans for today, but something hit me hard.  Got something in the mail where all I had to do was look at it, and my CFS spiralled into HELL.  First, the 'anxiety attack', and then all the physically consequences to that, including unmentionable symptoms I haven't seen in a long time.

Because precip is coming, the haunted man downstairs started up at me.  I was out, as normal, with my dog, and he starts knocking on his window at me, but surreptitiously.  To nip his latest episode in the bud, I must begin knotching up the radios a little.  Anything happens again, then they go up more.  And so on.  I despise passive aggression, but there are various reason why I have to respond this way.  It's part of a portfolio.

But my bedroom radio has faded off it's NPR station.  You see, when the ice-storm came through, our region again became part of Wisconsin.  Meteorologically, the NPR station stopped working.  But, now I am getting the NPR station from Madison, Wisconsin.  This station has actual sane announcers, not out playing some kind of retarded personality game, as is the Illinois mode.  And, besides some hours of news, it is classical music all day and night.  So, I am staying on this so long as the station is available, to help disconnect me from so-called reality, help my health, etc.  And, I know that classical music, (if I need to turn it up on him), really drives the crazy man crazier, for some reason.  I am presently listening to, 'The Skaters Waltz'.

There are a few things wrong with this station, as with many classic music stations.  In the daytime, this station plays more poppy classics.  Not entirely, but sometimes a little to much for some people.  On the other hand, at night, there can be a lot of 'eclectic' or 'avant guard' classical.  Sleeping people, therefore, don't get this stuff.  BUT, the night music is often just too out-there that it can wake you up, or keep you awake.  Whereas a lot of marginal DJs and night owls might love all this harsh, immoderate unpredictability, I think most people would like classical music to lull them to sleep at night.  And that might mean the more predictable and poppy stuff, right?  Anyway, the other, 'local' NPR station broadcasts BBC all night, which is great, but is even worse for sleep.  As are voices of piggy, know-it-all, WDC/California newscasters, in the evening or morning.  Not a lot of radio, in any event, is conducive to thinking or sleeping, (esp. for people w/ CFS).

Despite illness, I managed to make and store another giant batch of wet dog-food.  I have gotten my dog's spirits up, and he is happier.  But his energy level is declining with age.  It's not evident when he is outside yet.  In this respect, we are related.