August 7th, 2019

* - galaxy

This Is How The World Ends.

After the movie, I made a hot sandwich and drank wine. Had lots of sleep, which I have been needing, but which is countered by the deleterious effect of wine. Pushed off the migraine and felt as good as a baby. This shall not last. I am now wondering what to do with my available day - maybe some serious LJ writing, for a change. Must definitely do some cleaning, as this place is a mess. No I mean really. The hot weather is clearing and I w ill be able to do more around here, including anticipatory packing. I am expecting to do shopping on Friday.

I had a few good dreams. In one, I met a girl and asked if she was single? "No." Do you have kids? "Yes."... Are you married? "No..." So, I asked her on a date for tonight at 7:30pm. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to make it, *pouting emoji*.

There is a push by the people around here to disrespect me. Mostly blacks. The are bringing out tiny dogs, and baby carriages, and bicycles, and running right at me as I walk my dog, then blaming me for whatever. Today, a group of three black men walked towards me, pushing a baby-in-a-cart, and yelled at me ahead of time to get out of their way. I was fine, and took the dog out of the way. I said, "How are you doing today?" And one guy, pushing the cart, actually responded. But the Alpha Guy just complained loudly as they walked away, about how angry he is about being scared. By a harmless creature, which people know by now, after 7 years, would never hurt them. He only gets 'forward' when he's sees someone who is up to no good. He seriously can sense people's moods. I know he is psychic of mine, and have proved as much, (see my posts).

Excuse us for being alive. When have we ever walked into their yards - or their bathrooms - and shouted about how outraged and put-upon we feel? For they know not what they do. Consequently, right after this, my dog became less controllable. He had been made nervous by them - and so this is what he does: He he tries walk and pull and sniff and shit in inappropriate places, with much less regard to me. It's a pain in the neck. Not only this, it compounds, the more people shout or intimidate, etc., thus becoming a cycle. This is how the cycle of urban violence feeds. It presumes that other people or animals are evil, racist or attackers, and they completely miss the internal being of others. They fail to see how their hate can encourage the very hate in others which they fear, all in a conspiracy of insecurity.

This sort of thing happened constantly in the first 3-5 years I was here. People came out of the woodwork to deliberately intimidate me, certainly facilitated by Facebook. Flash mobs and roving groups of punks have accosted me, or me and my dog. The Nethers downstairs intensified my illness and dementia by banging on the walls, slamming doors, setting their dog to attack mine, and so on. This was taken up by the crazy Jewish jerk downstairs, and continues to this day - Sunday night, in fact.

If you want to know what is the reality of the rising differential between the rich and the poor, then look at this: Middle class and poorer people jockey for positions of dominance and security, by stupidly trying to tear down people they think are weaker or poorer or, consequently, more morally incorrect than themselves. It is a great slaughter of the spirit, and it brings nothing but shared depravity, except for those 'at the top', the divide-and-conquerors. They profit from the materialistic identity politics of either/both parties.

When I first moved here, the whole place was falling apart. Run-down buildings, Guns and cherry bommbs. Aggressive pitt-bulls off-leash. Dog shit everywhere. Through my patience and example, I invisibly inspired improvements. LOTS of improvements. But then, these jealous men show up, wanting to be or remain the Alpha Male, who become extremely jealous and angry over all this - since they make their political hay through the social mentality of fear and hatred, which apes as morality.

So, in steps the A-hole Guy down the street. First, he dresses like me, in order to claim my spirit in society. Then he tries to impress me with how great he is. Then he begins a war against me, which includes trying to convince everyone else that I am NOT the wonderful guy they have learnt to like so much.

Recently, this green-eyed jealous dog shouted at me because my dog was pissing on "his" tree, which is on public property. I shovelled it back at him, and also calmed things down. He felt embarrassed for a while after than - and then he started up again, trespassing, harming the property, and getting his rookie to mow our lawn - because he wants me to know that HE OWNS THE NEIGHBOURHOOD.

Well, what happens is that, after my emails, my LL switched to a new mowing company - because the last one had been poisoned by A-hole Guy. These new mowers do not edge the sidewalk. The mowers' blades are too low, and so they are killing the grass. Now, the whole property looks horrible. Who is to blame for this? The mowers never corrected their blades even after I talked to them about it, cuz they are just so proud, right? Everybody here is so sure they know everything when they are all complete idiots. (And so they confront the truth as they normally confront all other idiots, like assholes).

But the greater blame goes to A-hole Guy, who started the whole war, based on his selfishness, ignorance and pathological, control-addicted jealousy. You see people like this, all over the world, staring stupid wars, or massacring people for drugs, and so forth. It is an ancient plague upon our planet, when the poor and the ENVIRONMENT ends up paying the price. And society follows stupidly along. THIS is a major reason why I have been accosted so often lately: Because the sheep around here just assume that the tough guy is right, and that I am wrong for standing up to him, though not flattening him. (Give me time).

What I am trying to illuminate is that, because of this mean-world mentality, and the idiot bosses who perpetuate it, neighbourhoods and cultures do not see how they are ruining their own environment, their morality, their hope, their happiness and their wealth, by tendering the lies fatuous power. They are bringing themselves down. They addict themselves to it, and provide little leeway to those who offer alternatives or progressive ideas or humanity or imagination. It is those progressives who gain love, but are killed by the jealousy of dictators, and all their fearful sheep.

(Another 'cause' of this recent mass-harassment is the whole national squabble over Trump, guns and immigration, which is partly fueled by our own local spiritual squallour, but which is also played out by the powers that be - mark my words. There are covert economics behind all the trouble in the news).

Look at the world now. This is happening everywhere. It is probably happening to you. So, I just say: Recognise the bullshit, and be strong enough to stand against the bullies, despite all the rancour from a frightened society.

I have fared on and watched as others have fallen, in my lifetime. By the seductive power of force and money - of Mammon - they convince themselves that people like me are heretics and, if they do not stone them, they talk them down and alienate them. They conspire, as does the sway and scythe of easy money, or promise of glitter, or narcissism of eternal greatness. Meanwhile, below this pathetic conspiracy of ignorance, the planet falls away from us.

Ain't that divine?

Lindsay Lohan reportedly getting close with the crown prince of Saudi Arabia

Lindsay Lohan and Mohammad bin Salman, the powerful crown prince of Saudi Arabia, have reportedly formed an unlikely friendship.

Pals of the actress say "they’ve seen text exchanges between the pair" and are boasting about what they claim is a new friendship. Page Six is also claiming that the billionaire "been flying her around in his jets and showering her with presents".

Lohan's rep says the pair only met once at a Formula One Grand Prix race, but sources within her circle say they definitely know each other.

MbS has faced accusations of reportedly calling for the murder of Washington Post journalist Khashoggi last October, while others describe him as a modernizing force in Saudi Arabia pushing for women’s rights.

* - galaxy

Maniacle Drug

You recall that i was tragically ill over the winter (and spring). Actually, it began in early November. A number of things contributed to the downfall, including being attacked by various people. Snow-shovelling seriously hurt me, and my CFS. And so on.

But the best of all contributor was: running out of my meds. I lost my propranalol, which had helped regulate or dampen my migraines and related. I had lost my Synthroid and liothyronin, which helped a little with thyroid issues like hair loss, heart palps, etc. (But hypothyroid fatigue, etc., is like a pebble compared to the fatigue, etc., being caused by my CFS).

I also lost my finasteride (Propecia), which had helped against hair loss and potential prostate issues. I convinced my doc to do the 5mg dose, so we could get it paid for by medicaid/care. The biggest reason for finasteride? I personally wanted it to push back real CFS stress caused by DHT and testosterone.

Coming off of finasteride caused something called post-finasteride syndrome, or something. So, over the winter, I had extra CFS, added to this new syndrome. I incurred increased dementia, sexual dysfunction, insomnia, heart problems, hair loss (of course), STRESS + CFS relapses, a permanent visual problem, etc., all known results of finasteride withdrawal - for which I could join a class-action and win money. I may discuss this later. But I might rather go back on the finasteride, dope that I am.

There have been long-term consequences of taking finasteride, which is a general androgen-blocker. (I had assumed it only blocked DHT). These all fall into the category of feminisation. I have lost muscle mass. My hips are slightly wider. My shirts have gotten too big for my shoulders. My whole frame is just more slight and female looking.

So, this is another reason why jerks around here have thought to take to harassing me - calling me, "little boy," etc. I just don't seem like a threat to them, so they swoop in for the attack. The world is run on idiocy. It doesn't help that I have a pony tail. But this is one way of saying, "Fuck you," right back to them all.

I will mention to you that Trump takes finasteride, and may be prone to something called, "finasteride dementia," which should help explain a thing or two for you. You can search all this online. I have links for ya on these intriguing bizarities - but I can't really do that on my computer at the moment, even if I wanted to. I want to go to sleep now.