August 2nd, 2019

* - galaxy

Who ARE you?!

Here's why I relate to a lot of Jews:
- I am frugal and penny-wise, coming from a Scotlish background
- I am a complete outsider from another country, even more-so than my siblings
- I am contra-Christian in several ways
- I am sexy dark and smallish
- I am witty like fuck
- I worship gold and silver
- I am a madman's ad man, (I worked in advertising/publishing)
- I tend to be liberal and also legalish
- I am a Mensch
- I made reubens in a deli

Here's why I relate to a lot of blacks:
- I am Irish and you know what happened to them in the USA
- Also, the Irish fought for blacks in the Civil War, btw
- Being Irish, I tend to run towards a fight
- I have rhythm, soul, and I sing like an angel
- I eat soul food
- I am poor, disabled and hated
- I have done some daring, illegal things in my past
- I have been referred to as Michael Jackson on the dance floor
- Power to the people / Stick it to the man

Here's why I relate to a lot of Brits:
- I was born in Australia and remain a subject of her so-called majesty
- I have been listening to the BBC since I was a kid
- I once made a Union Jack
- I have revered Kipling, and so many other British writers
- I have a dapper yet dashing conservative flare
- I have been called 'the fifth Beatle'
- My parents were born in the UK/Ireland
- My teeth now suck
- I have been known to walk around in women's underwear
- I am the reincarnation of George Harrison
- I majored in International Studies, (and also Poli Sci; and also Psychology)

Here's why I relate to a lot of fish:
- I don't like wearing clothes
- I like eating smaller fish
- I don't shower I BATHE
- I tend to wander away into the ocean
- It really bothers me when a hook is lodged in my mouth
- I like 1940's music which is often about fish
- I hate alligators
- Octopi think they are so smart
- I am surrounded by pressure but it's fine
- I once molested a conch, (not really, it just sounds funny)
- I float to the top when NPR is playing

Here's why I relate to occasional vermin:
- I stole a large potted plant from a bank
- I stole $50 from a bank
- I fathered children I never met (aborted)
- I once had Catholic Guilt
- I let that mouse die
- There's some other things I regret but don't remember at the moment
- I live and writhe like a worm
- People like to step on me
- I share similar DNA
- I once invaded the Sudetenland