March 2nd, 2017

Willow-Werk

The birth of commercial capitalism.

A seldom believed fact is that soon after the invention of the printing press came the television set.  We no longer have access to any of the programmes and news and commercials and rock concerts of that day, as they were all recorded on nutritious donkey pelts which were seized by the invading hordes of Honeybuns, Twinkies and HoHo's.  However, a few commercials were transcribed by penisless monks and Daniel Defoe, who found some on an island.  Here is a commercial which Defoe committed to text, as described in his obscure work, "A TV Guide of the Plague Year"...

"Argh!  I've tried everything!  I've tried bleaching them out!  I've tried hexing them out!  But I still get...'Ring around the Rosey!"

"THOSE DIRTY RINGS!  WHY NOT TRY, 'POCKET-FULLA-POSIE', SUPER-STRENGTH DEATH-BUSTER?!"

(Close-up to a circle of kids singing about, and dying from, the Plague):

Ring around the Rosey.
A pocket full of posies.
Ashes, Ashes.
We all fall down!


Surely, this commercial is a prophesy of our decline of empire, caused by left-right-left-right posers chasing their tail, and falling down like 9/11.  Now you know where all our taxes go.