May 21st, 2012

goth - morticia

jumbala post - part 3

Even though she is 7 inches tall, I love Janeane Garofalo and her Cristina Ricci forehead. She was once a host on Air America. I don't know who preceded her, but she was making jokes before a large audience. I was right up near her. Her jokes were starting to choke, even though I was applauding and encouraging her. But she was getting like, "Why would you be nice to someone who sucks? Why do you laugh at my pathetic jokes, you must be pathetic. I despise the likes of you and I turn a cynical eye." Story of my life. Meanwhile, the amazing Paula Poundstone is back in the middle of the audience and she is calling out, helping Janeane with her humour, offering new jokes or stories. In fact, the amazing Paula Poundstone started stealing the show, so this was actually not so helpful. So much for that. Well, after the show, I was still there, set up for a small picnic, and Janeane and a friend asked me something and I said, "I stopped talking a long time ago." As I proceeded to try to eat my lunch, on the ground, my dog kept getting into my food. He wouldn't stop it, no matter how much I asked or told him to. So I got out a belt and gave him a whack, and Janeane is angry about this. She reprimands me. And I've about had it. So, I say, "Would you want your dog eating your food up on the dinner table while you tried to eat?! Look. I really don't ask for much. But I gotta EAT!"

Now I feel bad about it and I wonder if I should call her.

But Janeane Garofalo foreheads can give you epilepsy. Just look at Edgar Allan Duck. Eldorado...

Do you know who else was a host for Air America? Well, I used to listen a lot to Rachel Maddow before she became a corporate whore, (ha ha - jk), but I never knew that she once co-hosted with the ultra-sonic LIZ WINSTEAD! That's a main producer of the Daily Show, who happens to rule. Whenever I hear her on an interview, I feel all like potatoes are worth boiling again. If you have the personality of LIZ WINSTEAD and a Cristina Ricci forehead please drop me because you are in danger of becoming married. Well, LIZ WINSTEAD has an ultra-sonic book out, called, "Liz Free or Die." I heard her on an interview the other day on a pretty-damn-good NPR show call, "On-Point Radio," which calls out to be goggled. Also heard that amazing country music American Idol star from OK, who's name I forgot because my lobe is in the soup. Well, as long as I am taking about NPR...

Last night, NPR's, "World Cafe," featured new artist, "Said the Whale," from Vancouver, BC. "Big Wave Goodbye," was pretty great, went from virtual acapella "old-world-jazz-kinda" choir to nutsy party trumpets and Mardi Gras kinda stuff, venturing very near to sounding like South African hi-life and yet never actually going there. Also, "World Cafe," featured music from the year 2010, and I realised, musically, I have been stuck in the year 2010. Also, I think joining an Indie band may be my only ticket out of poverty. For too long, I thought it was the other way around. Wut? Alex Jones is to blame.
lennon studio

(no subject)

Once upon a time, God was really plastered. He started drunk-dialing a bunch of other gods of other universes, but they were also drunk. Existence, as you know, is a very lonely place, even for God. So God said, "fuck this!" (and he could do that cuz he is God), "I'm going to make a likeness in my own image, whom I can dress up and play with and ..." fill in your own ridiculous reasons. So, in his drunkenness, God had his first go at creating humans, but instead he created Manatees. Manatees were a drunken attempt by God to create man. When he finally sobered up, God said, "Hey, I screwed up - but that wasn't such a bad idea. I think I'll give it another go!" So God set to actually indeed creating man. Except that he had one hell-of-a bad migraine at the time...
crazy - bears boxing

florida+michigan - normal people

Today, Ed Schultz was covering the issue of the Newark mayor expressing, "Nausea," over Obama's questioning of Romney's "business" cred and ethics. I was mildly tempted to call in, but figured I'd save it for a polit LJ post. I would have said:
1 - despite the fact that everyone in NJ says, "nauseating"
2 - and despite the high degree of craptitude in that corrupt, NYC-wanna-be state - Cristy, case in Point...
3 - NOBODY talks like that unless they are wanting to hide something in their own personal life... so...
I impress myself sometimes, cuz look what popped up...