June 5th, 2005

pink floyd - dark side

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

First - apologies if I posted the comment about credit cards in the wrong friend's jnl. I am Mr. Mistake - you should know that about me. I can't find my Visa bank card or my latest car insurance bill either...

However, I am up early, and I finally feel pretty good.

Stress, exertion, change in sleep patterns - these all predispose for CFS relapses. Lately, it's been so bad, my eyes started sinking in - just like in the old days. Completely gross - but other people tell me they don't notice it - although I know their subconsciouses do, and they treat me like I'm a deranged psychopath when it happens. Which of course, is completely injurious to my already splayed nerves.

Why do my eyes sink in? No one knows. Although, I have heard of this symptom in one or two other people w/ CFS (which, again, isn't contageous, and which ISN'T a mental illness, and ISN'T depression, and ISN'T hypochondria).

Pause... (who is sashaisdead?)

There is also a condition called Chiarra's Syndrome - or something like that - where the brain swells, and tends to slip out from under the back of the skull. This is often associated w/ CFS, or possibly misdiagnosed as such. Surgery is done, and shunts are placed in, but often unsuccessfully. I talked to a girl who had this condition, and it is possible I have had it too.

But I believe during a CFS relapse, I lose a bit of neuron sheeth fat, and possibly some other stuff - temporarilly. Esp. behind the eyes. And this is why my eyes sink. After a relapse, if I eat foods w/ saturated fat, like chocolate, (and also protein), and sleep, then the eyes start puffing out again - and I look like my wonderful self - and feel that way too. One would think that Omega fatty acids would be the cure here, but they're not - although I still believe I need them too, just generally.

Dehydration is also a major problem during relapses, and I believe the main thing I lose in the brain is water. When I dehydrate, I look 20 years older.

I'm not as sick as I used to be, but it's still tough. And a major problem is that I can be physically active and talkative even when I'm somewhat fatigued. And people think I'm not sick at all. The problem is that this activity adds to my general stress load, and I can drop like a stone the next day, confining myself to my room, where no one sees me, and no one sees the evidence of my illness. The social difficulties w/ CFS are very taxing. One of the BIGGEST problems. Because of this, and also because a condition somewhat similar to depression can follow from the illness itself, CFS has the highest suicide rate of any major chronic illness.

I look great. My muscles bulk up really easilly. And I can do some serious heavy-lifting, etc. It's very tough looking great yet being ill..

A lot of people have CFS, and yet manage to make a life for themselves. And yet they are confined to their homes, like the author of "Seabiscuit". At the Sydney Olympics, the US women's track (or relay?) contestant had CFS - yet she was prepared to compete. However, when she was harassed at her apartment, the stress evoked a relapse, and she had to return to the US, completely unable to run.

It's Kafkaesque.
pink floyd - dark side

Kiss My Biceps

Your dating personality profile:

Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.
Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about her appearance.
Your date match profile:

Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Sensual - You aren't looking for someone who is sexually repressed. You want someone who is adventurous under the covers.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Liberal
2. Adventurous
3. Stylish
4. Wealthy/Ambitious
5. Sensual
6. Big-Hearted
7. Romantic
8. Shy
9. Athletic
10. Practical
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Adventurous
2. Practical
3. Sensual
4. Big-Hearted
5. Funny
6. Intellectual
7. Stylish
8. Shy
9. Athletic
10. Romantic

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