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kitty sundae

How to lose weight by eating 9 things.

Posted on 2017.05.13 at 21:38
I have always been pro-food, ever since I can remember. Drugs and alcohol, caffeine and tobacco - nothing ever quite took the place of food, except when sex came along, and I nearly starved to death. But, in the end, everything came back to food, because everything is food, because we are imperialist vampires. It is fortunate that our generations occurred in the precise time in history when humans ate the entire planet. Any other time must really have sucked.


This bears repeating so, in my next entry, I will repeat it: I was a health food nut even when I was a kid, listening to big band music, shortwave, and late night UFO radio. I learnt about what was healthy and what was not. If I didn't know, I would ask my mother, "Is this health food?" and she would say, "Yes," and feed me more peach pits. One thing I learnt was bad food was SUGAR, which I have avoided most of my life, especially now, having CFS, (not to be confused with CFS: "Can't Find Socks"), consequently, I am still alive.

The other day, I heard a radio infomercial, selling a food supplement, and learnt that this supplement helps to reduce weight, so I am adding it to the other things you can eat that will help you lose weight. But, first, I will begin with a story.

When I worked for a short NYC Jewish guy, in Philly, I mentioned that people nearer to the Equator tend to be shorter, (and skinnier, sans the Western Die-It), while people nearer the poles tend to be larger and heavier. This is also true of other animals and insects, (we being, of course, insects ourselves). He was flabber-founded! Shot down for not knowing this fact! Yet I was just a bored academic cool-jerk, rolling it off my tongue like it was morning-mouth.

His wife stepped in for him and said, "He... he didn't know that..." So, I was prompted to say more, such as: It is hotter near the equator, and so it is better to have less body mass - otherwise too much heat builds up in the body, and you drink away the resources. In the Ant/arctic regions, people with lots of body mass, to hold in heat. The latter sort have a great fondness for animals, "if it's cold enough,"* which is where we get the term, "Three-dog Night," - (seriously, look it up). By the way, it wasn't long before this little mad man began setting up some new business - in Belize - with the intention of moving there. See how I walk stupidly through this life and change the world like thunder?

"What about the Masai?"

"They're a fluke." - (As compared to the pygmies). That was the short answer. Indeed, we varying tribes come from varying climate pasts, (and various primate genes), and so this results in variations of morphologies no matter where we live. But, another fact is that you don't just measure heighth. The Masai have very skinny bones and surface area, which helps heat flow away; and they are taller because this helps their strategy of running or walking long distances, even over desert areas.

But, this equator-versus-poles thing is just a broad, general rule. This is a rule I came up with through my own observation and thought. Maybe it got into my massive spiral notebook journal, which was stolen from me. See how I walk through this life and change nothing, like thunder?

The other day, I happened to find this very rule in Wikipedia. Turns out that it is an established theory that goes way back. There are some disagreements with it. I cannot remember the name of it for you. There is also a rule that says that the availability of calories is more of a determinant of body mass. Well, class, I think we have learnt, by now, that MULTIPLE factors are what makes reality real.

And, hopefully we will one day learn how to spell, "learned."

So, the supplement they were trying to sell on the radio was Vitamin D. Once, my former doctor urged me to take a lot of it. I believe in taking way, way, "too much," of it. It is strong in fighting cancer; helping bones; helping the heart; helping against depression, and so much more. According to the radio people, it also helps you lose weight. That makes sense, because if something does so well in setting you on your natural path of health, of course, you will also lose some weight. So, this is the first on my list: Take Vitamin D.

The radio people said that the reason why people near the equator weigh less, and people near the poles weigh more, (is not because of heat vis-a-vis body mass), is because people near the equator get more sunlight, and convert that into Vitamin D! So, this is either quackery, or guessing, or it is a spectacular challenge to the theory I spoke about above, (as well as to others). Or, is it conjunction? Does Vitamin D serve as a life thermoregulator, causing a body mass change suitable to its latitude and/or environment? As if on purpose? In that case, Vitamin D would be a major factor in evolution itself. Or is it just a coincidence? Or, does a thermally inappropriate body mass (index) trigger some difference in the Vitamin D converted from sunlight? And so on.

I love these things, as you could tell from reading my recent post on the 5 alternate universes my dog lives in, in a manner of speaking.

So, take Vitamin D to lose weight, says every doctor. You can take far more than the 2,000 IU which is the norm, (or so I've heard - I am not a doctor and provide no sensible advise whatsoever so don't sue me). Of course, also avoid calories, especially in fast carbs like sugars, starches and processed carbs like flours. Avoid insulin-disrupting artificial sweeteners. Avoid alcohol. Other artificial ingredients, pesticides and toxins can also take a toll on your metabolism.

Nothing beats exercise except for lots of great sleep, and a regular circadian rhythm driven by morning sunlight and not caffeine or nightly LED screens. I also believe that gluten, (from wheat, barley, etc.), is bad for the metabolism.

And, finally, eat a lot of (pre-biotic) fiber, from beans & veggies. Fiber absorbs fat. More importantly, it feeds the pro-biotic bacteria in your gut, such as found in (sugar-free) yogurt. This gut biota, along with biota from fermented foods like wine, sauer kraut, kefer, tofu, etc., help support the healthy activities of your gut, crowding out vampire pathogens and parasites.

OK - now that's I've gotten all that normal, obligatory stuff out of the way, I can move on to the other things that a body can eat, yet thereby lose weight:

2 - Chocolate. Dark chocolate or cocoa. WITHOUT the sugar. No chocolate candy bars or rabbits. Add to your decaf coffee! Some stores sell Hershey's sugar-free dark cocoa powder even in the summer time. Very good for the heart, too!

3 - Apple Cider Vinegar. Use this in recipes, as when substituting for lemon. Add a little to cold tea. It can also be diluted and drunk straight. Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) is not as acidic to the stomach as one would assume. But a tiny amount of baking soda can buffer it - but be extremely careful if you do this, and always consult the Pope first. ACV helps the digestion, especially of proteins, (like meat). It favours good gut bacteria. And, it also contains Malic Acid - something very good for giving energy!!

But, the ACV should be ACTIVE, not store-bought, i.e., deactivated. That is why I forever make my own! I use apple juice, and some other juices. I have four different gallons under my sink, working away, (also creating that gooey white stuff, which is NORMAL). The finished product is devoid of sugar.

Finally, ACV is not only good and pretty (and stinky) for the hair, it also helps fight baldness, just like onion juice. Apparently, they both destroy a fungus associated with balding. Or, the fungus can simply be coaxed off the head by calling its name, which is usually Gregory.

4 - Magnesium? Just a guess. Magnesium is such an all-important mineral, essential to so many enzymes, it only makes sense that it should encourage weight loss, (as above), since it puts you closer to your own natural path of health. Zinc and sulphur are also extremely important. Eating non-organic foods, especially processed foods, and certainly many fast foods, may rob the body of essentially nutrients. This tells the body to eat more and more, just to find those ratified nutrients. What is the result? Weight gain. So, search out all the nutrients you can, down to gold, silver and madmanium. At least, this is what my doctor always advises ME to do, (because I am not a doctor and make no proper sense).

5 - Antioxidants, especially Green Tea! Green tea helps people lose weight@! And so much more. It fights infections and inflammations, and provides energy. The same is true of super-anti-oxidant, resveratrol, which is made by grapes/vines to fight off fungi. It can be found in supplements, and somewhat in red wine. Turmeric also works as an anti-oxidant, while strongly fighting inflammation and cancer! I have found it is used best in conjunction with Vitamin D, fish or coconut oil, black pepper or other curry-related spices. Since it is more absorb-able when cooked, I somewhat "cook" turmeric in my stomach, following it with a tiny amount of baking soda, which neutralises its acid. I have observed that baking soda and a little oil will change the clout of turmeric from golden yellow to bright orange red, (as when cooking Hush Puppies). It's amazing, especially when one considers that, really, all of what is going on inside of us is the various actions of light and other electricities. Anti-oxidants are little micro-gods birthed by the sun itself. They are agents of the light.

6 - Celery. Why? Well, that's easy to figure out. It's mostly fiber and water. But, even beyond the sodium, celery also provides a bit of energy. 'Tis a good thing.  So are sunflower seeds!  Fill ya right up, and have lots of nutrients.  I haven't tried clothes-drier lint yet, but I know a cat who swears by it.

7 - Cinnamon? I'm not sure, but I think that cinnamon helps in weight loss. That's something to research. Even if it didn't, it would still be an amazing herb. It has been used to keep foods, like meats, preserved, as it is a great antibiotic. That is why it is used in toothpastes. It can be used as an under-arm deodorant. It helps with digestion. Most importantly, it is one of the best natural agents in helping to balance insulin. For this reason, it is very likely that cinnamon does help in weight loss.

8 - Iodine. Natural iodine, as from natural kelp, can help the thyroid, even when Synthroid or synthetic iodine fall short. (And, it is not as toxic as the latter is in larger quantity). When the thyroid is better modulated, then it is more likely that weight correction, probably loss, would ensue. At least, that is my very strong hypothesis. However, please remember that I am not a doctor but an alien from outer space sent here by people who look like ducks.

OK - These things all SCORE. They are invaluable. They help keep me fit and as energetic as I can be, even as I lie in bed dreaming of growing gigantic boobs. But, you would think I have exhausted the field. Maybe I have. Or! Maybe there's even more in this OTHER post I made back in 2013... Well, look at that! I totally forgot COCONUT OIL - and a lot more...

Sweet Little 16 Things that Lydia can do to Lose Weight!

Please remember to always talk to your doctor about dieting, food, drugs, taxes, christmas presents, politics and horse-racing.

* - From, "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective"

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