"a killing field for hypotheses" (madman101) wrote,
"a killing field for hypotheses"

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All methed up.

I was just outside with my dog, in the rain. As my dog contributed his own effluent to the landscape, there trickled the sounds of a screaming woman from next door. It was an argument.

Probably not a coincidence, that it coincided with my regular time outside with dog. Remember back to the Nethers, especially N-Girl, who was obsessed with coming outside at the same time I was out, sometimes with her dog. (Crazy guy below has also done this a little, trying to prove that he is not afraid of me. During such times. I have taken the rare opportunity to mock him, which is so not me, but entirely appropriate to the situation).

And. Remember back to when I first moved to this deranged little hamlet. Suddenly, there erupted at least three extreme arguments between couples inside their neighbouring houses. (Actually four - that I am even aware of). Why did this happen? Scientifically speaking, the women were all interested in me, the new guy in town, and were acting weird, according to their now-troubled boyfriends.

I also know this is true because of the outward behaviour of the females, who acted flirty with me. One girl waved out her window at me. Another girl flicked her porch lights on an off at me when she went inside. And so on. Anyway, all the arguments did nothing for me. They only resulted in the whole neighbourhood deciding to hate me, or just ignore me, which has never ceased. Which is fine.

After coming inside this morning, I used the bathroom, and I heard the girl directly next door shouting and arguing and crying. I remember when a family with a kid lived over there. As soon as I would turn on the bathroom light, the little girl would start crying. And the family acted like this was my fault. It's times like these which made me remember, (while I was in Madison), why Wisconsin people hated people from Illinois.

I don't know what girl this is, repeating that whole pattern of the past, since they are new here in that house. As far as I can tell, there is at least one new white girl, and one new black girl, maybe two. One black girl once came out while I was out with dog, and did this weird walking-back-and-forth flirty laughy thing. She was overweight, but I am sure that her enormously gigantic boom-booms obscures this fact in the minds of many men.

What I hate about all this is that it is creepy. People I don't even know are arguing about me, and making attitudes against me, which overflow into how people treat me, when they should just mind their own business, or find out who I am first. If they would only do the latter, I am sure they would hate me just fine and avoid all this other waste of time. But people have no lives here.

I mean - it's really bad in that way. One of the reasons why the crazy bald guy downstairs started trying to harrass me was because all the people who work with my LL started gossipping about my past issues with the Nethers, etc., as did the LL, directly to bald guy, (aka, psychopath). That's called having no life. Or too much meth. Either way.

Back during the days of Nether, recall when I followed Nether guy all the way down to the convenience store, yelling at him to stop slamming the doors, etc? My aim was to get him to hit me, which he did. Even though the cop could not arrest him, because all witnesses had run off, eventually the cop did me a favour by calling my LL about it, and the LL eventually kicked the Nethers out because N-Guy had listed himself as living here, when he was never on the lease. (I am just recapping, for new LJ people).

Well, the other day, I walked down to that store. As I approached, I saw two guys fighting. Actually, it was a black guy assaulting a white guy. How fun. What was I going to do about this? I usually come up with something interesting to do in such situations. Whatever, this was going to be interesting...

Still approaching, I passed by this little old house that I like, but there was an old lady sitting on the porch this time, right near the sidewalk. I said to her, "That's a nice little house you've got there!" She said nothing - didn't even look. "I like your house!" Still nothing - but a look. Grrrrr.

I get to the "fight" and now the store's owner is outside, looking at it. So, I walk up to him and say hi, then I just stand right beside him, ready for action. I'm ready to go grab the black guy, whenever the owner is ready to. I'm letting the owner make the decision. And, I also directly eye some man who is at his truck, sort of demanding, in a quiet manly way, that he get the hell over here...

What actually happened? The owner went back inside! And the other man drove away. Whatever. I hear that the argument is about money - maybe meth - idk. But, the white guy was partly at fault in that, and he was NOT putting up a fight. If that was me, I would say, "Oh, THANK you, God!" and proceed to kill the guy, lol.

I went inside and figured that the owner had called the cops. He treated me very chummy, probably embarrassed by his own appearance of being a coward. As I left the store, a whored-up woman yelled at the black guy, who was still at it, that the cops were coming. As I walked away, the cops arrived, and I managed to tell one cop that this was clearly assault.

But - notice how, at least there were witnesses for this, while there were none for me in the days of Nether? I guess it was because this assault just went on and on. Stupid. At some point, I even heard the black guy say, "If I go to jail..." - which sounded like a threat.

He knew what he was doing. You don't see a lot of this kind of up-front violence around here. Mostly it's hot air, or sneaky subversion, or guns from cars. And roving throngs of people, glued together like sticky sheep.

Or, maybe they use Velcro, idk. I think Velcro would work best with sheep, don't you? Sheep on meth, (sung to the tune of, "Girls on film!")

I walked past the little house, and the old lady was scowling at her newspaper.

Some dog barked at me, who was probably N-Dog, because that's where the N-People moved to: Back in with N-Guy's mother, (who once glared at me). I got home and my dog said, "Where ya been? Let me put on some tea." I didn't want to go into explaining to my talking dog all the unusual things that had happened...

Anyway, just to finish off this post about weirdness in the hood... My neighbours who stupidly mounded mulch around two trees, and then stood in a line glaring and gossipping... This is a good example of the ongoing dysfunction here, which REQUIRES people to reinforce it.

You see, the trees were also mulched when I first moved here, (as well). Back then, I went ahead and told someone about how the trees could be killed in this way. This person clearly told the people who had done the mulching. You would think that they would have done something with this knowledge. Instead, everyone acted like I was crazy, and here they come and mulch again with a vengeance, gloating afterwards.

In Illinois, no one is allowed to mess with anyone's RIGHT TO BE WRONG, even if they are harming others. Because. The only ones who win - who uphold this right - are not the wise or the true or the good - they are those with more money, or more power, or more sheep surrounding them, shouting loudest and sporting gossip through their look-at-me cellphones.

Its the same "Calvanistic" attitude which assumes that rich people are more godlike because they are rich, and so elects them to be governor, who ultimately end up in jail.

It's why Illinois is top of the list of states that people are leaving, while all the professional positions are being filled up with foreigners. Isn't it ironic? Irony shows itself best in the shadows of decline.

One of the hallmarks of narcissism is that the person believes that other people are all idiots. But what if other people REALLY ARE idiots? Then what? What if you are an intelligent, cosmopolitan, educated smart-ass thrown into a bankrupt town that gets nothing done and everyone keeps chasing their own tail like the country bumpkins on, "Green Acres"?


What choice do I have but to comfort myself with delusions of self-worth and talking dogs, lol?

I went into the bank the other day. There are three teller girls, all of whom like me. One is Polish with infinite cleavage, another is a testy/flirty little Indonesian sort. The middle girl is a white non-foreign girl who is smart and has a sense of humour. Once, the Indonesian girl connived to pull my attention away from her, and she became upset. As she waked away, I saw that, though she was thin, she had her very own bubble butt. Kind of a distraction.

This all-American girl with the depressive caboose seems to like me. She is certainly a self-possessed, together person, and friendly enough to all. I come in, and they know I have an illness, and am poor and without car. Yet she seems to like me. The other day, the Indonesian grabbed me to her counter again. She asked me where I was going, with all my luggage.

"Well," I said. "Laundry."

This made American girl laugh a little.

"And shopping."

American girl once saw me at Goodwill. Maybe one day, we will go shopping together, for girlie things.

So, when I quickly pulled myself from Indonesian girl to leave, I walked past American girl, who smiled. She gave me the nicest greeting and goodbye. Thankfully, I was in pretty strong shape (CFS-wise), instead of being all encumbered and pathetic. I jaunted out of there, great with "luggage", (lug, lug), like the dashing Australian I am in comic books. (However, my front tooth is still absent, looking bad, and making it almost impossible to pronounce, "F". I could have put it in by now, but I really don't care too much, in this town - which is one reason why I have no problem growing my hair long)...

My hair is long now. Longer than Drew Barrymore's last night, in, "The Wedding Singer." Longer than Adam Sandler's. After trying to dye it blonde, it is a lighter, glowing shade of brown - more like how it was when I was a kid. Girls like it. Bee-Girl told me she likes it, too.

And, not only that: Men are being really nice to me lately, instead of beating me up for trying to be Fabio. But I would never date them, because they are all idiots. And I am the greatest.

But, I really might ask American girl to a movie some time. I just dread all that might follow.

I've been thinking of writing a letter to Ashley and posting it here, in case she ever reads madman101 anymore. I want to tell her that I did appreciate her. I just couldn't keep it going because of my handicaps, especially since it was long-distance. It wasn't fair to her.

Watching, "Wedding Singer," last night made me think of her. Of course, as soon as it ended, the oldies station played Al Green's, "Let's Stay Together," which is what I once sang to her, and which was her cellphone ring when we broke up.

We had something good in many ways - something I acknowledged that I will never know again.

* - Note for new people; "Nethers" is not a racial slur! It became a reference to neighbours who lived downstairs, in a nether world filled with smoke and loud music, creeping into my realm. It was inspired when I heard the song, "Netherlands," by Dan Fogelberg, while posting about them.
Tags: all * narcissists/ narcissism/ psychopat, american girl - usa, ashley, crazy people - in general, girls - the bane of my existence, idiots, ironic / (sardonic) and see humour, local customs, music - fogelberg dan, music - green al, narcissism - narcissists/ psychopaths, nether people, stupid-town

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