I am the person who will destroy China. (madman101) wrote,
I am the person who will destroy China.

Prisoner of Identicrats!

I have been so extremely brain/fatigued lately. I can pinpoint FIVE causes of it, four of which I can mention: A walk; wine; stress from Mr. Bald Guy causing lack of sleep, and these nice Mexican things I made: I mixed black and pinto re-fried beans plus some condensed Campbell's bean-and-bacon soup. This was to be used as my meat-substitute. (I think it may also have had some ground DEER in it too, because I have to make use of what the food pantry gives me. And they get the deer because people are TOLD to hunt deer, because there aren't enough wolves anymore to cull the deer, whom we have decided are too numerous for our civilisation. We are just one big problem). Anyway, almost all Campbell's soup contains wheat. So - even the tiny amount of wheat in my fake meat mix was enough to cause me days of terrible trouble. (I get rid of most other wheat stuff I get from the pantry. It's rather unfair: I cannot eat wheat or sugar - so I must get rid of all pasta, and anything with ANY sugar which I cannot ferment, OR: I simply take less from he pantry, and they do not compensate me. So, although they are helping me because of my poverty, they are discriminating against me because of my illness. But, the pantry that does this is run by my pal, the Bee-Girl, {whom I ran into yesterday}. I really don't care. I am thankful in most ways. This morning, I giggled when I got under my cozy covers, for I am grateful).

I think the soup only contained, "wheat starch." But, apparently, it may not be (only?) the gluten in wheat which is bad for people with wheat sensitivity, which probably includes all people with CFS-like illnesses. It has recently been discovered that there is another protein molecule responsible for this(!). Just to complete my description of those Mexican things: I warmed up the fake meat, (oh - which also included mushrooms, etc.), while semi-frying onion and garden-fresh green pepper slices. I put all on top of some hard tostadas, covered by garden-fresh tomato slices, and slices of cheese. Then I heated these in the oven. The cheap cheese slices did not even melt, which always annoys me. I had thought that I had an extra pack of non-Koch shredded Mexican cheese somewhere, but I could not find it, if it existed. But these (spiced) Mexican things were awesome - except for the minuscule amount of wheat!!! The tostadas became more moist and pliant. They really worked out well. I am doing well as far as food goes, this month, while I restrict my grocery shopping and concentrate on buying new shoes.

But let me tell you about these tostadas... I always buy corn tortillas, which I use for tacos, occasional hot-dogs, and cheesy creations. (The probability that they contain GMO is high). But corn tostadas are a good ancillary alternative to tortillas. They look so odd, stacked in their cylindrical packages. But, they store very well. And, you can break them out and eat them like corn tortilla chips! Not bad at all! Now. Let me tell you. I have bought tortilla chips in those big brown bags, with a plastic window, which come from Mexico - and they have a lot of fat. And, most American chips/puffs are up to 15% RDA fat. You can't even find organic chips which are less than 11% fat. But these round tostadas, which you can eat like chips? they somehow manage to have ONLY 3% RDA fat! And they are from Mexico! So, if Mexico can do this, then why the hell can't the AMERICAN CHIP INDUSTRY? I mean, someone could make a hell of a lot of money selling corn chips which only have 3% RDA fat! Why isn't this happening? Or I am I beginning to sound like Donald Trump?

"La Banderita's" Tostadas... "are the freshest, most delicious tostadas available, because they are made daily. These thin tostadas are especially made with our own blend of corn to be crispy and flavorful. Perfect for your favortie [sic, ha ha ha] meals."

Another reason I have taken a vacation from LJ is because I am so sick of bullshit politics. I am tired of explaining to LJ liberals how there is the possibility of an AGREEABLE left-right movement, when all they do is whine and blame. These are the same people who were convinced that the Bundy gang were terrorists because they had their legals firearms legally strapped to their hips, even though one of them was ruthlessly murdered by the feds. They don't even see the connection of this movement to the Native Americans fighting the Dakota Access Pipeline, even though those Native Americans are, themselves, in a coalition with local, Bundy-like, land-owners. I am telling you, I am not a conservatives, but some of these reactionary liberals are complete lame fucking idiots. They know not that their ridiculousness only fuels the very reactionary GOP/conservatism that they hate. Their anti-American protests are just as dysfunctional and racist as were the GOP/tea-party intransigence over Barack Obama. I just feel like I am living in CRAZY LAND. And I am seriously, again, mulling over going back to Australia. This place IS NOT ME. And these crazy people, en masse, RUN THE FUCKING PLANET. This is the man-eating plnat that has grown out of exceptional, imperial AMERICAN NAIVETE.

And, another reason why I have been off LJ is because I needed to watch some DVD movies, so I could return them to the library. BYW - just watching movies feeds CFS relapses, because it involves exertion by neurons related to thinking and to viewing/light. So, it contributes. But, as I told a bus driver, WHO ACTUALLY RESPECTED WHAT I WAS SAYING, "I push myself." So - I walk. And, even though it is extremely harmful for my illness, I drink wine. I would not drink wine if it weren't for the bastard downstairs hammering away at my PTSD symptoms, my reactive heart, my fatigue and sleep, etc. Anyone can tell you: wine is BAD for CFS. But, as I have no life, and I also HAVE NO ALCOHOL ADDICTION GENE, I do force myself: BY DRINKING WINE. What do I like best about it? Not so much the getting drunk, although this dulls my senses, so that the loud bangs and slams and stomping from the bald baby boomer idiot downstairs do not hurt me. Rather: I like the sexy giddiness I experience AFTER I am drunk, because I am so full of wine estrogens, making me the girl who I really am inside! But, then, a day or too later, I am paying for my wine again, more-so, when I land in the throes of CFS HELL.

OK... So... Yesterday, I finally minimised my illness, to the point where I could go out. I walked by the pantry, but it was locked because it was Friday. So, I continued walking, to the library. I was STILL so very fatigued and in brain-pain. I was pushing myself. (Pushing yourself? With CFS? Not so good, to say the least. CFS takes anything you DO, and buries you with it, in extreme pain. So, anyone who looks at me and acts like I AM NOT SICK - I have nothing but complete repugnance for these people!) I first stop in at the Post Office, and buy and send a card to someone. Nearing the library, I notice some people have seom kind of stand, with cans of food. I avoid it, due to my pain, but then realise that it is the pantry people, and Bee-Girl says "hi" to me. So, I chat, etc. Nice - but difficult because of my illness. Then I get to the library and return 5 DVDs and pick up 5 more. Then I walk to the nearby bank and make a tiny deposit. Then I walk to the scratch-and-dent grocery store: and it is empty! There were guys moving it out! No more convenience! And great NYC gluten-free cheap food! And no more crazy Iraqi guy! Oh well.

Then I walked to the liquor store. Now, let me tell you: One of the females who works there never treats me nicely, even though I am clearly sexy and wonderful in all possible ways. In fact, earlier that morning, I thought about her, and thought that maybe she had once had a bad relationship with a white guy, and now hated white guys. Who knows. But this time, she called me, "honey," twice. And she kinda tried to cover her usually-predominant boobs, as if she was wanting to look thinner or decent for me. What had happened?

I like thinking about these sorts of things, just to try to figure out people. I thought: Maybe now she likes white guys more, cuz Donald Trump won! Ha ha - isn't that hilarious?! Now I am suddenly more appealing because some white asshole guy wins the White House?! People take politics far too personally. Or - maybe it was because I was wearing some dark black, new-looking jeans?.. even though they are girl's jeans, (with the "Guess" icon ripped off). Or maybe it was because I am growing my hair longer. Every white person in the town is basically, mmmm..., redneck white-trash hillbilly post-Hippy nonesuch. If they live in town, they are liberal, and all the rest are conservatives. So, I guess my longer hair makes me look like one of the liberals, instead of the get-things-done big city operator that I am, vacationing in redneck town because my CFS allows me no energy to even plant a fig.

Or, maybe it was because I had a mini-conversation with the big black guy who works there, who is possibly gay. Maybe she felt that: if I had credibility with big guys, then this meant that I also had sexiness, in her eyes, OR:

Maybe she felt that: "If he flirts with gay guys, then I will be responsible for losing this male to the dark side. My mission in life is to attract guys before they become gay!" Ha ha ha - who knows.

So, yesterday morning, the crazy bald guy was punishing me for, basically, breathing. I almost sent an email to my dubious LL about him, but was too overwhelmed by fatigue. This guy tries to fuck with me whenever he thinks I am sleeping or resting or sick. But, to do this, he gets up at 1:am or at 3:am, to pound his noise at me. And, so, he ends up making his own damn self sleepless. He always loses - because he is crazy. He is the definition of insanity, constantly expecting to win. Well, at about 7:am, a guy from the LL's agency stopped by to drop off my annual turkey - which I get for always paying rent early. I greeted him heartilly, and basically proved to the bald guy that I was up-and-at-em, so early in the morning. Plus I managed to go out later on. So, these combined to make him crawl back into his crazy shell, at least for the time being. But he'll be at it again soon enough. I swear to god, almost all old baby boomers are closet passive-aggressive fiends. They are the main reason why Donald Trump was elected.
Tags: crazy people - in general, food - mexican, local customs, my cfs - (& see health - cfs...), stupid-town

  • How it shakes out.

    Another bad day, but I was able to get going by noon. Someday, I will make a graph, which will include this: 1/5th of my awake time = Able to do…

  • Movement of Jah people.

    Today was a bad day, and I was unable to do anything. Major accomplishment was in making a sandwich. And computer/net continues to be insanely slow.…

  • Woods, If He Could - Part 1

    I heard a voice from the edge of the woods. It said, "The forests are comfort to the soul." So, I decided to start this series. I've…

  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 1 comment