It is presently 9:pm, Wednesday, (3/30/16, America). Today, the guy downstairs went out of his way to react to my every noise, with him stomping straight-down in retaliation - for squeaky floorboards. I am not a flying monkey. I have been having a bitter frontal headache for a few days now, plus etc.
Nevertheless, I roused myself to go to a pantry yesterday. Then, I pushed myself to walk to the library today, and then to another pantry. (Bee-Girl was still home with neo-baby). That's pretty spectacular for CFS me, (aka, M.E.). Lots of canned, etc., food is a major deal to haul home, walking. Then I got home and my dog was jumping all over the living room, annoying the hell out of the guy downstairs. So much for him getting to me with his insanity. He keeps pulling the same crap over and over again, expecting different results, while I just carry on with my own life, perhaps even more freely. I wonder when he will ever say to himself, "This is the definition of insanity." But, no. He won't, you see, he won't, because he interprets everything I do as deliberate, personal competition. That's how he was when he moved in, and anything I did lead me into his trap, his mental illness. I am telling you this guy is nuts. The LL doesn't want to face this, even though it would be in her own interest. This is how today's baby-boomer society conspires together to protect the $tatus Quo, and blames victims and messengers, always narcissistically telling itself that it is always right, since it means well, or at least it meant well about 5 decades ago, which is enough to go on, and bastardise the universe.
But I feel happy, even though I still have that headache. The bastard has shut up for now. The thing about these closet bullies is that they project. The more they expect to instill fear in their supposed victims, the more they themselves are filled with fear when their "victims" turn around and come at them, (or vice versa). The more they try to make the victim lose sleep, the more inevitably they becomes bothered and enraged by subsequent activity of the victim, convinced that it is retaliation, which only makes they themselves lose more sleep - (which they blame on the victim). And so on. Here I am with CFS and this damned headache, and I am accomplishing more than him in his perpetually simmering rage, which causes him to burn green with envy. You know what. There he went again, just right now, starting up again with the stomping. When I am writing, he assumes I am asleep. It's pathetic.
Anyway, tomorrow will be day 3 of my plan. I will be taking a bus to the hospital for lab work. Then I will walk to a local craft mall. Then I will walk to the supermarket, thrift store, and laundromat, (carrying along my laundry, btw). Then I will take the bus home. And then it's time for wine. And maybe GF pizza. And maybe popcorn, if I dare to make some tonight.
OK. Here is the themish post...
In our last class, we discussed how Siamese twins can be so close that they share one single body and head, with some systems and organs and cells and DNA belonging to one twin, and the rest belonging to the other. Truly, this is bizarre, but true, in a universe better than Star Trek.
Did you ever see, "The Fly," starring that Jurassic Park guy? It was gruelingly repulsive in a beguiling kinda way. The guy, not entirely unlike the guy downstairs, merges his DNA with that of a fly, and becomes progressively more fly-like. To the horror of his girlfriend, he begins to rather enjoy this, as would, I think, we all. Yes? Indeed, I feel I have already been through this, and my life has been a 4-dimensional staging of Kafka's, "Metamorphosis." (Certainly, my sister threw apples at me when I was young. And people thought I was break-dancing but I was just helplessly spinning around on my shiny black back). Please be sure to catch the Dr. Seuss link in one of the posts below(!)
OK, now I need to be very serious with you here. This is about the plague of microcephaly associated with the Zika virus. This is a dreadful, horrible thing, and it really rips through my heart and soul. I need you to know this, before moving on discussing my imaginings and hypotheses which arose in my too-big mind when thinking about this. Mainly, I wanted to know WHY is this happening. WHAT is causing it. What actually IS happening? OK. I do not emotions stop me from thinking, unlike most politicised so-called people.
[Insert, Friday 6:40pm] - I am sitting at the laundromat. I have such a bad headache that I couldn't both sit and write while running my laundry at the same time. I am officially lame. I have had this headache for days - and it won't go away because I never get the right time to rest and meditate. Instead, if I am quiet for 20 minutes in my apartment, the guy downstairs starts stomping around, or etc. SO - painful head.
I took a bus from home to the hospital, where they did the lab work required by my new CFS doctor. 14 tests! As the blood flowed, I thought my blood pressure was lowering, and so my headache was getting better - fat chance. I had to rest in the lobby for a while before I could get up and go. However, the service and niceness of the folks at the hospital were excellent. Also, my first bus was early, for once.
After that, I began walking. I made my way into this large mall, with a HUGE area relegated to 8'x8' and 8'x12' stalls full of many different things, like trinkets and tools and albums, etc. Mostly, it was all more leftover junk from the fading Baby Boomers. All consignment sales. There was also the large non-profit bookstore in the mall, but I couldn't spend money. For some reason, the SSI check didn't come in, as it always does on the 31'st. I think it's because the dog food company is charging my card today, and the bank is AGAIN arranging it so that the income is not ledgered, but the debit is, so they can charge me - what - $45 for the "overdraft." Bastards. I know from experience that they pull this crap on purpose.
Being tight on money follows from two things: Buying this laptop this month; and the fact that my wallet was stolen. That included cash and cards, including the food-stamps card. (The replacement has yet to arrive grrr).
When I got to the laundromat, I had enough money for laundry, and the bus home. I walked to the nearby bank to check my balance - a couple of times - and it is about $1. So, I forced myself not to go to the supermarket or thrift store, as I had planned. It is better that I drink no wine today, anyway, with this killer headache. But I came out here to buy some specific things; now I have to do a second trip. When you only do things once per week, changes can really screw up plans. And CFS. I have to walk to the liquor store to buy wine, maybe tomorrow. I have really been pushing myself lately. But, I am going to cook pizza when I get home and celebrate anyway. I'll have cold pizza and popcorn waiting for tomorrow's wine.
I have between 15 and 45 minutes before the bus comes to take me back to prison I mean home. The question is, what am I inserting here, theme-wise?...
I don't want to discuss the microcephaly babies, as my brain has put me out of that topic right now. It's also getting difficult, straining to concentrate, as along comes yet another idiot asshole male, banging his ego around everywhere. A white guy with pants falling off his ass. I am so tired of these trivial pursuers.
[Monday, April 4, 2016] - Continuing this at the library. I needed to get more labs done at the hospital, because two did not work out right, first time around. Maybe something extra is wrong. Anyway, since I had a chance to take a bath this morning, because the guy downstairs was out, I decided I should go get this done today, especially because it would be a bother to put in my earplugs, then take them out to leave, then put them back in later... But, I left with a continuation of the aforementioned headache, now piercing my right eye and rain and soul. It is damp and windy outside, and 36 degrees. I walked forth and decided to stop in at the main pantry, only to find another box of instant potatoes, which is fine. But, I walked back via a different street and ended up making a mistaken turn. I ended walking and walking and walking, like miles. All because of this strainful headache. When I figured this out, I meant to correct it, but made another wrong turn, walking and walking. In the cold. I had to double back for almost a mile via dif streets, and finally got to the hospital. So, all this will possibly affect the lab results. Never mind how it affects poor me. OK - that's enough personal stuff for now. I want to get this post done real fast and get home.
OK - back to the microcephaly babies. I is anguishing to read or hear about them. But I wanted to think about what is going wrong.
It is said that this condition is associated with the Zika virus, in Northern Brazil. As you may have heard, this occurred in a region where, and/or near where, genetically engineered mosquitoes were released into the wild, purportedly to fight a DIFFERENT virus. This fact has faded into conspiracy theory, and the conspiracy theory has faded from mainline news and convo media. However, add this to a connection to a release of similarly altered mosquitoes in the SW Pacific, to which the condition may or may not be correlated, and there is very rich ground for some serious investigative and scientific research here. I hope one of you might want to follow up on this, as I have not been capable of it, due to incompetence and such.
The WHO has said that there is a strong possibility that the Zika virus does in fact cause the microcephaly. As a scientist, I am of course open to this. But I am also open to the theory mentioned above, i.e., that it was genetic manipulation which now caused the Zika virus to lead to the deformity - or even that the Zika virus itself may not be a middleman here. I think that there is a LOT of room for more demographic and epidemiological measurements and stats to be made here. So, there is also a third hypothesis, which is that the toxin released massively in the Gulf/Ocean, called CORREXIT, may be causing the deformity. Correxit is very interesting, in that it breaks up oil, like a super surfactant. Oil, or fat, is what comprising the most important tissues of the brain, nervous system, or the neural crest. So, this is worth keeping in mind. A fourth hypothesis is that the deformity is not related to any of these, and is a measurement or statistical fluke, which seems unlikely.
I can tell you that it is known that the microcephaly of these babies differ from common microcephaly, in that some regions of the brain are more affected than others, in comparison. That points towards this being a new or unique epidemic, of new or unique causation.
I can also tell you that the brains of these babies, in a way, eat or digest themselves during development. Their brains CALCIFY. (Calcification is what happens to our sacrosanct PINAEL GLANDS when they are bathed in fluoride and/or SSRIs, and lose their freshness and melatonin). Calcification also occurs during improper reactions to inflammation, as when your arteries plaque up. Presumably, such occurs during dementia, as well. So, I don't know how far calcification can take us in solving this puzzle, if it occurs in so many conditions. Along with microcephaly, these babies also suffer from CREUTZFELD_JACOBS disease, and dying-disease of the brain, where the need to sleep becomes insane, and the person basically dies from brain death and lack of sleep. This latter illness can be genetic, and it can also be caused by a prion. Prions cause other dementia diseases. So - again, calcification may be associated with CJD, (aka, Mad Cow Disease), as much as anything. Or - maybe the loss of myelin sheaths, etc., DUE TO CORREXIT???, leads to the brain calcification in this microcephaly. I would like to know if calcification ALSO occurs in previous, standard cases of microcephaly - my guess is probably. But - important to find this out.
I can also tell you that these babies CRY in a very different way! (Again, does this differ from standard cases of microcephaly???) It is soul-crushing to hear these babies cry! They don't have the multi-tonal embellishments like regular babies - it is all just one long, anguished, buzzing groan. Really tragic. But, I can hear the fatally desperate PAIN in these cries. They lack the higher, plaintiff frequencies, which evolution may have given normal babies, which might summon the sympathy of adults. Also, as these babies probably lack sufficient, if any, higher cortical, associative, fine-tuning function, then they probably have lost the ability to generate these higher frequencies. My guess is that they are mostly quashed or stuck in lower functions of the brain.
OK - I want research done on all I have said in the paragraph above. Now, this post is going to move more into the imagination, which, after all, is the basis for hypothesis-making...
So. I was thinking that, what if - what if genetic manipulation, or simply an aberrant virus, had altered the epigenetic or genetic material of these babies. What if, somehow, the DNA of mosquitos had actually supplanted that DNA, so that, to some small degree, mosquitoes were MERGING with human babies? - !
I told you to be prepared for this!
How could this possibly happen? Well. Possibly. I am saying it may not be 1000% IMpossible. But, possibly what could happen is this:
We share a shitload of genes with all other creatures in the animal and plant worlds. We may have latent genes - in fact I am sure we do - harkening back to those connections - or to those times our shared genes were more active. I am not saying that we were once mosquitoes. I am saying that we have a genetic potentiality within us which is related to all other creatures. Put in the right splicing agent, during development, and one set of these latent genes may be activated, over the activation of our more normally-human genes. Those harkening to a frog may be activated, or those harkening to a cockroach, (see F. Kafka), or those harkening to a mosquito - it would depend on the splicing agent or virus. Remember, this is just an imaginative conjecture.
I said that the babies' cries were like a buzz.
But, what really got me, at first, was the shape of their bodies. These babies now had very tiny heads. But their upper bodies were strangely overdeveloped. They had large-than normal shoulders and necks and chests. What does that body form look like? Kinda like a mosquito.
Remember me talking about the fly. And about merged Siamese Twins. My conjecture of years ago turned out to be true regarding the full-mergence of Siamese Twins. So, who knows. Maybe one day we will find out that something like this is occurring, and indeed always occurs to some degree in all evolution. Because. We are all related. And, this would not be out of sway with some ideas in my own philosophy, often referred to as, "Entropism."
I am not saying that these babies have been merged with mosquitoes. I am saying it is something to keep in mind. It may not be IMpossible that latent "mosquito" genes may be pulled out of humans into activation, en masse. And the result could be something like we are seeing.
However, I support stronger hypotheses, of course.
And. If genetic manipulation, and/or nefarious spraying, has occurred, I DO NOT KNOW, one way or the other, whether this had anything to do with any genocidal population control conspiracy. Just because weird things happen does not always mean that there are conspiracies behind them. But the odds are greater. And, let's say that this microcephaly epidemic is INSTEAD caused by CORREXIT. Well, take one good look at what happened during and after the BP oil disaster - it was just one conspiracy step after another, involving corporations and government/politicians. I don't think anyone can deny that there was conspiracy involved in the BP "cleanup" and cover-up - (maybe even in the explosion itself, who knows?) So, sometimes conspiracies inadvertently lead to other events or "co-incidental conspiracies", which further need to be covered up, due to the secrecy of the true causes.
Ever heard of the Angler Fish? It is a roundish fish that lurks around in the dark ocean. It has a little lure sticking out the front of it's head, like a fishing rod, with a little light on the end of it. Small fish are attracted to this lure. They swim up, and the Angler Fish scoops them up with her large mouth. Well.
Ironically, male Angler Fish are ALSO attracted to this fish, a female. So, they are hell bent on swimming up to her, and biting her. They sink their teeth into her flesh, and remain there forever. Like parasites. The bitten female takes up the sperm of these little male fishies. And. Then she dissolves away their brains. And their jaws. And their insides. And their bodies. They basically merge into her, all for the sake of their parasite sperm. Parasites driven by parasites. Just like parasitic prions driving infected ants to be eaten up by sheep.
Thus ends my double-whammy theme post on the entwining of bodies. Of course, we all know there is so much more material available in the Psychological literature concerning the entwining on personalities or identities: Codependency; envy; borderline personality disorder; the guy downstairs, etc. I have found that what takes place in the sociological sphere, and in the cognitive realm, ultimately has parallels, if not related physics, in physical reality - which includes genetics.
So. I was thinking, yesterday, how a girl I met may be just like the light on the lure of that Angler Fish. I swim towards her. I flirt. But pretty soon, I am eaten up by the gossip and jealousy and hate and competition and lust and spite, etc., which is the true, greater animal: CONSUMPTIVE SOCIETY.
Reposting: AUDIO - Letters from a human insect to Dr. Seuss - http://www.openculture.com/2014/02/kafkas-famous-character-gregor-samsa-meets-dr-seuss-in-a-great-radio-play.html - and TAS TRANSCRIPT: - http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/470/transcript