Heavy smoke would somehow fill up my bedroom, or come up the stairs, (with the cockroaches). The girl had OCD, and was constantly cleaning, or doing laundry, (which spread moisture, inviting the cockroaches in during the drought). Intense fumes from these cleaners, and unknown other sources, were always creeping up my front stairs, and so I referred to the area downstairs as a Nether Land. (This happened after I heard Dan Fogelberg's song on the radio, "Netherlands"). I then began referring to these neighbours, in my LJ, as the Nether People - N-Girl, N-Guy, and N-Dog.
Never-mind that all of this almost killed me, a few times, (due to my illness), a number of newer people on LJ dropped me, because they assumed that the, "N", referred to the N WORD. And that kinda betrays part of a big problem.
I tried to understand what kind of psychologies would be so hell-bent on passive-aggressively attacking me - in cowardice - and wrote many, many LJ posts analysing what was going on, and also trying to verify that I was not crazy. I came to the conclusion that the female showed signs of being a psychopath, and the male showed signs of being a narcissist. I felt sorry for the dog. Whenever I confronted them, they lied and said they made no noise, etc., and that I was crazy. Thus, they were trying to foster a sense of paranoia on my part, acting as if they did no wrong. And this was repugnant to me.
Finally, I ran out after the guy, who had slammed the door in the morning, and left with yet ANOTHER dog they had added to their lair. I caught up with him outside a convenience store, which also sells liquor. He was crouched over, talking to a female in a parked car. I then emphatically told him he needed to stop slamming the doors. He hit me in the throat. And, do you know what? This was exactly what I was looking for! I then said to the females in the car, "You saw that, right?! That was assault."
The guy shouted that there were no cameras around, etc. I told him I would get him and his dog thrown out, (as he was in violation of the N-Lease). Then, I managed to get the driver to agree to call the police for me, which she acted like she did - and probably didn't. (Meanwhile, the guy ran off). She also agreed to drop off the other female, to her job, and then come back to be my only witness. Ah - there is justice in the common people - NOT. She never came back. She was therefore supporting N-Guy.
I went inside the store, and discussed the issue with the nice folks there, who couldn't not understand why this N-Guy, whom they were friends with, would be producing all this passive aggression. "Don't they like you, or something?" They called the police again. And a cop eventually arrived. Meanwhile, the guy actually returned, boldly, knowing there was no witness. Possibly, he had received calls both from the driver, and from the people inside the store. How do you like that? But: Even though I had no witness, this was his major downfall! Why?
The cop then went inside the store, and talked to the guy. He also asked him for his information. N-Guy told the cop that he lived at the address downstairs from mine! What was so great about this? This stupid move? Now, my LL had an address for him, AND proof that he was in violation of the lease, and could proceed to get a police ban on the guy from the property! (She was previously not able to do this, since she had no address where the order could be served).
But, he kept showing up, trying to be quiet. Yet again, he got bolder and bolder, and louder and louder. THREE YEARS of second chances, he got, and yet he was still pulling the same crap. Idiots do not learn. So, I called the police one night, (after he had abused N-Girl, and told her, "Oh, he's not going to call the police!"). Hearing my call, through the hollow walls, this guy managed to slip away, before the police arrived.
Foiled again? No. Immediately, unbeknownst to me, N-Girl was talking to the LL, and was very angry. That shows you how 100% "right" they believed themselves to be, after unlimmitted abuse of me, with my illness, and my dog. The LL insisted that the guy had to stay away, (since he was never on the lease). N-Girl threatened to move, "Tomorrow!"
After thinking about reality a little bit, N-Girl later said she would move out by the end of November. Bit by bit, she eventually moved out, and N-Guy was apparently not around, lucky dog. In the process, she slammed a lot of doors, and apparently complained to one of the LL's painters, while he was working inside the apartment. This may or may not be so, but I am 100% sure that she passed along her gossip to the new, incoming tenants.
During her last visit to the apartment, while I was out with my dog, N-Girl heaved a dramatic SPIT in my direction, which I basically said was, "Really smart!" How do such persons learn that they are their own problem? How can they not see that starting from a premise of HATE, they will only lose in the end, except in a society which pays homage to bullyism?
BTW - most of their innumerable passive-aggressive attacks over the past 3 years were found to be correlated to a few things: Approaching storms or precipitation; moon phases, and national news about incidents concerning RACE, as in the Zimmerman/ Martin issue. It became clear that their behaviour towards me was racially based.
But, even though I am a minority here, and did nothing racist towards anyone here, I was apparently assumed to be fair game, as some representative of white racism everywhere. They would immediately retaliate if they ever heard or saw me outside taking to some black neighbour, &c.
And, they would retaliate for no noises I made, just randomly, or to noises they ASSUMED I had made. They forever assumed that I was the one playing games with them. Irrational, massive, "pre-emptive retaliation." It didn't matter whether they might be wrong, they just went ahead w/ the attack, apparently assuming that I deserved it either way.
I sometimes had no recourse, in this trap, other than to retaliate, shutting them up for a few days.
It was disgusting.
Please note that I developed serious heart and dementia problems from this, in addition to worsened CFS health. I mainly lived, walking on eggshells, unable to clean, or go into my own living room. Well, with cognitive and stress difficulties, trying to make not a single noise ends up with little acidents here and there - little noises. No matter how hard I tried, they just got more and more retaliatory, for less and less noise.
There are several characteristics of psychopaths, including manipulation, lying, lack of empathy, etc. One telling sign is that psychopaths are "right" no matter what they do, or what happens in reality, even if they are constantly contradicting themselves, (and their lies). That was what was seen w/ N-Girl. And, as a psychopath would, she proceeded to try to manipulate society to sway others to believe that she was right, and that I was evil, through her gossip, (and other demonstrations). (Thus, she convinced the incoming tenants, most critically).
Psychopaths are basically animals, i.e., more animal-like than normal people. They want what they want, and everything revolves around this - because, to them, this is what, "right," means. Like my dog, or an immature child. But, they are craftier than dogs or children, and spend their lives learning the logics of lying, of manipulation, of (self)deception, etc. They become masters of seeking out apparent easy prey, and learn everything about them, which they then use against them. Thus, these two N-People learnt my sleep schedule, my dog-outside schedule, etc.
And, look at how N-Guy based all of his reasoning on whether or not he could get caught. To him, he was, "right," in the confrontation, (the assault), at the store, simply because there were no cameras, (or willing witnesses). On the scale of moral development, this mentality is somewhere down at the bottom, yes? But, it does fit in to a culture of stress and anger and fear. It fits into, as well, a culture of hedonism. Not just survival, but survival of EGO, of greed, of assumptions of rights which may be immoral or illegal.
N-Guy was "right" merely because he existed. Put this together with their racially based attacks, and this mentality can be seen as a strong manifestation of racism. The Nethers assumed they were right: because they were black. But, as I discussed concerning labelling, racists don't go around doing things to suit their racist labels of other people. Rather, they assume the opposite, that they are NOT being racist. Instead, the person annoying them must be pre-judged as being the initiator of racism. THEN the labels come.
This neighbourhood supports such mentality. And, as a psychopath, N-Girl, (and company), appointed herself as the critical hinge for social opinion, trying to convince others that I was the attacker, ergo, the racist. It was a forgone conclusion from day one, no matter what I did. I would go about my business, and they would be following me around, downstairs, tapping on the wall below me, or banging, or goading their dog to bark through their ceiling. They spent their days imitating me, my cough, my yawns, my small noises, EVEN MY COOKING! They would, more and more, cook as I had, convincing each other that they were proud, at home, right.
And, whenever they had any fissure in their dysfunctional relationship, they retaliated against me, as the "cause," somehow, using me as an enemy to solidify their group. But, they clearly sought every chance to do what they thought I was doing, by trying to draw a fissure between me and my dog. It was pathological.
Well, my dog, who is an animal, was additionally bothered by their constant attacks, which undercut my authority, in his eyes. He often became more unmanageable. This lead to more noise, and more attacks from below. He himself learnt to be passive aggressive, towards them, but also with me, when he lost confidence. So - there was a lot of difficulty here. I have been trying to unlearn this from him, but it will never completely disappear.
After N-Girl moved out, I was finally able to breath for a few days. I treated my dog to freedom and fun, but his bad habits took advantage of this. I have had times where I have had to yell at him, or hit him. But I have realised that the direction to take this was not towards reinforcing the past, but towards illustrating to him an alternative future, with kindness.
Unfortunately, the new tenants who moved in were convinced that the way to deal with me was to bang on the walls, etc., exactly as the Nethers have been instructing them to do. So, still dealing with the dog, but it looks like there is improvement in recent weeks. He did have a huge walk the other day, which was great. I am seldom able to walk him at all. I just have him run around in circles when he's on his long leash.
OK, so. What happened next, madman?
Well, I was told that a girl would be moving in soon. She planned to get a job, and go to classes at the community college. She moved in. So did two people, not on the lease. They all banged on the walls, took lots of showers at 3:am, etc., slammed doors, mocked me, and so forth. It was, in some ways, worse than before. I kept myself from retaliating, but they inevitably got worse and worse, until I had no choice. The most I would do this was once a week. But a month or two went by, first, before I ever retaliated.
They were, just like the Nethers, trying to draw me into their own crap, so they could target me as the enemy. I would get up at 10:pm, or etc., to change my radio broadcaster. But, one of them would conclude I was playing games, and so they would launch attacks for nothing, and would bugger me as I went about my own business. It started with their own paranoia, and the assumption that I played these games, and that they had a duty to play these games towards me. I have learnt that there is a wide assumption among many American blacks that, not only are whites afraid of them, but they MUST be afraid of them. It becomes a game to toy around with supposed white fear.
I was not afraid, I was very ill. This was abuse of the disabled.
I eventually learnt that the first girl was supposed to have moved out, with J-Girl taking over the lease. So, whereas J-Girl and J-Guy had been the illegal ones violating the lease, now it was the FIRST girl. This girl stayed there a whole month after she had said she would be gone. She finally went back to central Illinois, after slamming doors.
I was relieved, and gave J-Girl plenty of respect and benefit of the doubt. The slamming and banging - and stomp-walking - only got worse. The guy was still living there. The LL talked to her once or twice. I talked to the LL last week, and she said she would check it out - again. I said, "Let's wait til after the Memorial Day weekend." I had reasons.
Well, what happens? Instead of hiding quietly, punctuated by slamming doors at 4:am, etc., the J-Guy now started showing his face outside, defiantly. As predicted, he was trying to worm his way into the authority of the other neighbours. Sure enough, yesterday, he was out front, chumming up with a gathering of neighbours.
I knew that he, and J-Girl, would spread gossip, painting me as the problem, just as the Nethers had. So, here we have TWO couples claiming that I am trouble, (based on their own initial prejudice and harassment). I went out with my dog, at noon today, and there were two neighbour guys, just staring at me. So - right again. One of the guys was the tall man I have called, "Jack-Rabbit Lurch," in LJ in the past. He is Wavy-Girl's husband. When I first moved here, he would stand in the middle of their lawn, next door, and just stare at me. He seemed convinced that I was going to make some racist move of some sort. Because I am white.
After months of that, he finally stopped. I made a point of minding my own business, but I said "hi" to everyone. Well, I was regarded either as talking too much, or, as today, not talking enough. Catch-22 Vice.
Despite this little bit of intimidation, I am going to get the guy downstairs addressed, hopefully removed. It's like, I have done nothing wrong, and have received all this crap for no reason, and end up looking like the evil person. Yet this guy, and J-Girl, assume they have the right to bang and slam and stomp, whereas I cannot even clear my own throat.
The assumption that they are right, no matter what, is a dangerous problem. In so far as this mentality exists across the black community, it must be acknowledged & dealt with. Otherwise, it does not bode well for blacks or for whites in this country, only opening up races and groups to being played off against each other, just as the powers that be expect. Stupidly. I have tried so hard not to bring any of us down into this socio-economic trap, but my decency and confidence only gets me painted as someone, "trying to be something he ain't," whatever that is. Because I don't practice the same ways, and because I am white. It's tragic. I have never seen such close-minded people in my entire life.
Across the nation, there are blacks instigating problems, by assuming they own the turf. There are cops overreaching, as well. It is a tragic mess. There is no future in this.
I have written about societies locked in such dysfunction, most recently in part one of, "Behind the Mirror." The fear-desire driven mentality, a social sharing of the reptilian brain, ultimately comes down to no other future or investment than in trying to "OWN" physical things and territory. Everyone obsesses about lawn boundaries, and so forth. In this kind of narcissistic society, psychopaths are allowed to rise, and perpetuate the errant thinking, and even incite mob behaviour.
This is all very unfortunate. I just want to write - NOT about this - and nurse my illness and my dog. But, downstairs, there is a CNA female who, though she is in nursing, has an obsession to be passive-aggressive, privately, towards innocent, vulnerable people - and to exploit the glory. One wonders about stories of nurses strangling babies or elderly in their care. Well, here is a personality profile which may fit that bizarre type of behaviour.
The state of the nation only further declines.