where hypotheses come to die (madman101) wrote,
where hypotheses come to die
madman101

hilt

The people around here act extra-stupid. The females get all worried that my dog will attack them, and so, from a block away, they yell at me to restrain him. Because, you know, their fear is somehow my fault. I never have any trouble restraining my dog. When people approach, I get him out of their way, just as a courtesy. But, come on, a block away?! What do you own the entire universe or something?

But, when its warmer outside, my biceps are sometimes visible.

And, like, the boyfriend of the freaking-out girl will tell her to shut up. Shhhh! Because he sees I have biceps. Which is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of.

Listen, anybody who does not assume that the next jerkwad around here has a GUN is just plain AN IDIOT. OK. You should just make that assumption around here. So. What difference should it make, then, if I have biceps, when I might POSSIBLY have a gun? People are idiots.

"Oh, no. We don't wanna mess with that guy. No, we gotta respect him, cuz look at his arms!"

Dudes! I didn't get biceps from beating people up. I got them from chopping wood. Chopping down trees. Lifting weights. And then suffering for the next two weeks in bed from CFS relapses. Come on. Just leave me be - either way!

And the girls drool, like some monster movie. Get off! I don't want a girl who wants me for my biceps! I want to grow boobs and have a girl want me for my sexy bitch ass! ha ha. But seriously - I want a girl who understands more important things. If I took on a girl who mainly wanted me for my biceps, that would mean I would be doomed to a future of always thinking my biceps were important, as a show-and-tell commodity.

If anyone tries to make me live this way I will punch them out and put an end to it right away.

"Oh loo! He has ARMS!"

GET AWAY FROM ME. GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!
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