I've been pulling out of some serious frontal brain probs, migraine, fatigue, and such. I've also been trying to tamp down the repercussions of a loud toilet lid slam downstairs, with other aggressions which keep it going. It is not a psychological thing, it is physical - physical anxiety, like PTSD. (I think "anxiety" spirals in the brain also explain, e.g., Schizophrenia, OCD, etc., as well. Basically, there are contesting centers of the brain, higher and lower, sending specific regions into spastic capillaries, where some pathogen exploits and perpetuates the failure. Local paralysis. Sex hormones are also involved, usually....
Anyway... Um... The aggression from below has stressed my dog. Consequently, he has become more reptilian, headstrong, and uncontrollable. Of course, the noise he makes ends up bothering the people downstairs, creating a spiral. I think I have settled him down, and then there is some aggressive noise from downstairs, and he is making all these licking noises, and it gets worse form there. Much worse. If I go out of the room, he becomes crazy for FOOOOoooooood.
My moral authority is easilly under question.
Yesterday, the otherwise quiet and amenable dog across the way was barking a LOT. The dog is older, too, so this means something. Later, when I took my dog out, the dog was barking at my dog, non-stop. This slightly riled my dog. Eventually, my dog stood and stared at the barking dog. As if by language, my dog turned around and jumped up and looked straight at the downstairs "people's" porch. He also sniffed the tracks trailing from their porch across the house, in front of my porch.
Then, my dog looked back up at the dog, and the dog stopped barking. Because... THAT dog was trying to tell hm something. And my dog got the message. So, then my dog wagged his tail. We went inside.
Too bad that I have been having to punish my dog for all his selfishness lately. Selfish like the world would end tomorrow. Too bad that my dog went into worry-about-food rather than KILL THE FUCKING NEIGHBOURS mode. But, since I am so civilised and discrete, I am mostly to blame for that. His natual dog mode is, pretty much, KILL THE FUCKING NEIGHBOURS. Here I am constantly pushing him back for wanting food, to survive, even though his survival is fucking FINE.
I hate how lower-order social animals think. Take my dog, please. He sees neighbours fucking with us, and I do not reponde by killing them. So, he assumes I am afraid. Then, when he sees them coming out, he wags his tail, and wants to be closer to them. What an idiot. Children and psychopaths act the same way, having no frontal cortex to speak of. Venerate the bully, just to live at least 15 minutes longer. Fuck long-range planning and civilisation-building.
Today, I went to look at a house, but got stood up. I spent a lot of time in the cold. Wasted much of the day, including crazy bus time. When I got home, my LL had called me back. She was ready to call the neighbours, but I said let's wait until aft the weekend, which was maybe a mistake, because they are SHUTTING UP now, because they have heard my phone ring 3-4 times today. THAT'S THE WAY THEY ARE. It's disgusting.
At least I feel comfortable in not retaliating this weekend, just recording the abuse in notes, for now. If it comes to too much abuse, and I call the cops, then that is also fine. My LL will hear about it.
Anyway, my LL has been on a trek through an area between Utah and Arizona, through various cliffs and dry channels. Great. It was nice to talk to her. But she was partly being nice because I had said that I was looking for other places, and also because I had said that the peeps down below were now committing a Federal crime, by being in CONSPIRACY with the Nethers, (which has evidence to support).
This is the kind of crap that has been going on in Northern Illinois for decades, until it has become an art of delusional PERFECTION. I am telling you. It is a mindset. It is now ruling the whole fucking planet. Let me tell you about Shitcago - in an upcoming post! Look out for it.
Be nice. Woops here come the thugs to force you to be nice. Should have been nice. FUCK NICE LETS JUST ALL BE THUGS!
I met Rahm Emmanuel. I met the people he was fighting. I see it all. I see the bullcrap. I see no future for it.
PS - btw - I had left my message for my LL around 2:30pm. Slightly later, I got a call, and it was an automatic thing about voice - mine, maybe some one else's....
When I got home around 6 or 6:30, I checked my email, and here was one from exactly that time: It was from my LL, quickly responding to my message about a FEDERAL CRIME, and it was one of the most bizarre things I have ever heard! (Maybe she heard me answering PLUS the voice-mail - IDK). BUT... she left a message which was full of clothing muffling the cellphone, partial sentences as if to someone off range, partial messages as if in Spanglish but without the Spanish part,... it was reeeely weird.... Like she was a quivering little fawn, so in contrast into her regular gung-ho personality. (Actually, this squares with my psycho analysis of her). But it was reeeeeeely weird. (She later called me back at about 5:40pm, non-business hours, extremely rare. SHE WAS SCARED.)