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* - galaxy

Clap along with me! I feel so hap-py!

Posted on 2014.05.24 at 15:59
Tags: , ,


That song is everywhere. So HAP-PY! Meanwhile, there are crazy apocalypse songs. Can you say split brain experiment? We're onleh saventeen; we're onleh saventeen.

I composed a song in my sleep, sung by Robyn Hitchcock. I forgot the lyrics but remembered the main tune when I woke up. Then I went back to sleep and the whole song is lost to me. It was very good - I mean, I could have made money off it it I were the rock star of my dreams.

Huhhhh... So, thursday, I ended up going downtown dressed in an A shirt covered by a sleeveless little windbreaker vest. I also wore a baseball cap. My arms were exposed. Yesterday, there was a, "missed connections," ad in CL, for this town - a woman wanted to meet a guy whom she saw wearing a ball cap and a sleeveless shirt, on thursday.

I was thinking that this could have been meant for me - but I thought it wasn't someone who was really interested, it was probably someone who was hoping to mess with me. This town is the MOTHER of passive aggression - so I won't speculate who this person is - (if, of course, the hypothesis is true). I will be speaking of the bane of passive-aggression later - how it is defending STATUS quo, is destroying the country, and how it means to fester paranoia, and panic, causing the victim to become trapped, and then blamed.

(That's why governments plant disinformation, in the news, etc., such as about alien UFOs, e.g., in order to captivate observant independents, and right-wing wackoes, throw them off the track, and cause them to be widely derided as, "conspiracy theorists," which they tend to be, not necessarilly in a bad sense).

The ad said that "she" saw me(?) at "some event". That's vague. That could mean that this person saw me walking along, and assumed I was going to an event? (It could also mean that this person is trolling for ANY dufus guy - but the coincidences do suggest the ad may be for me).

Another vaguery: "I think we made eye contact." Now, that may be possible in real life - but the chances are very high that this is another ploy. If the person said, "we made eye contact," then the reader could say, "I didn't make eye contact with anyone, at an event!" By saying she THINKS they made eye contact, this person was hedging her bets, hoping that the guy actually DID make eye contact with who-knows-who.

" - But this girl THINKS we did - yippie!"

Whether or not its for me, it looks like the ad is insincere. But, not necessarilly, it could be completely legit. I am simply going on the "ME" hypothesis, because I like figuring out connections. I am not hoping this person wants meh. (Personally, I want to get the hell away from EVERYONE in this town).

Well, when did this person eye me, (hypothetically)? It wasn't until I left the Quicky Mart that took off a short sleeve shirt which was over my A shirt, and then put the sleeveless vest over that. It could only have happened at some point after the Quicky Mart! Da da da DAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Now, here's a reason why I am writing all this: Please be a bear with me:

The Quicky Mart is run by an Indian couple, who watch Bali-wood TV all day. By American standards, the guy is mega ugly, and so I am sure he gets lots of negativity every day. So, it has been hard making him warm up to me. But its fine. The woman is not cute, and is slightly overweight. She is quiet. I once asked her if she knew of any place where I might buy Indian spices - like turmeric. She said she would buy me some, the next time she and her husband went to the natural produce supermarket in Ye Olde City.

That's nice. She never did, but at least we were on a friendly basis. The problem is that it is the nature of their Quicky Mart that they get a lot of negativity, druggies, etc. So, they do not have the habit of being friendly. Like a lot of foreign transplants, running businesses here, in unsavoury conditions, they want to get the job done, and minimise the interaction.

Often, I make eye contact with her when I walk in, and I say hi. Same when I leave. Well, on Thursday, I said, "Thank You," while going for the eye contact, and she did this whole bobble-head thing with her eyes cowering this way and that - and I'm not SURE we made eye contact!

I THINK we did.

Then I went outside and stripped down in front of the window, and booked for Pepe's. She was the first to see me in my obscene armature.

Huh? Huh? How about that, huh?

Well, last night, I had a dream, and she was in it! It was SO weird. I was in the Quicky Mart. I was in there so long, I think I was eating stuff. She came out and said, "If I come back, and you are still here...."

Oh, oh! I thought she was going to say that she would call the police. Instead, she said,

"You will get a great big delicious recrydond!" (Actually, I just made up the word, "recrydond," here, because I forgot what her word was. But this was some kind of giant delicious thing).

She also suggested that I go ahead and eat various pies and stuff lying around, since she just collected them and left them there for whatever. "That's what they're there for."

I have forgotten much of the dream, but at some point she brought in a hot girl who looked like she was part Inuit. This cute girl wanted me to smoke something from a somewhat long tobacco pipe. (Was my dream channelling some Native American past?) She got naked and had glorious nubile hooters. "Sure," I probably said, knowing me.

She gave me the pipe, and I imbibed, and instantly became high - a unique, aware high - but strong, too. So, she offered me another puff. Every time she offered me a puff, she would pull the pipe closer to her, so it was like I was almost going to breath her in too. At this point, she turned into the other, Indian lady.

I was supposed to breath in the Indian lady!

Maybe, in real life, she was performing some kind of black magic! Maybe I was on her mind, and this prompted my dream. MAYBE she placed the ad in CL.

There is a chance that she placed the ad, but I don't think so. Who knows. I just find this all kinda quirky.

Quirkiness at the Quicky Mart.

Well, then there was a part about me being way up on an outside wall, and something beneath me went away, so I started dropping down, but managed to bring myself back up a little. I see this as a reference to my current financial situation, seeing I have no erectile issues.

There were other dreams. The fact that I managed to compose a song meant that I really did get good rest last night, and I', in pretty good shape today. Yet, I had to sleep a LONG time, because I DID have heavy CFS fatigue whenever I would wake up.

When I took my dog out this morning, some of the little new retention cobblestones in front of the mulch by my path steps had been kicked away - again. Plus, there was dog urine on the stones on the other side. (Occurred between 9:pm and 5:30am). That suggests that it is N-Guy up to the same old crap.

Meanwhile, this morning, I heard a car start while I was out there. No one had gotten into a car. No one drove away. But N-Girl's car was parked, facing my direction. I didn't bother checking, but my guess is that N-Girl went outside even earlier - 5:am, and sat in her car, waiting to stare at me, watching for what terrible things I might do!!!!!!

This has been going on for 2.5 years, and they have been the ones pulling all the crap.

I am thinking that the recent work from the workmen might have indeed been a response to an unfair complaint by N-Girl, even though my LL completely denies that. More on this later, maybe. But, if I find out that the LL has been lying, then it is over - I'm done with this Sinkhole City! I came to this sentiment after seeing that EVEN the workmen had left a little passive aggression for me, when they painted some of my porch steps - TBC.

It irks me to no end that these people have no spines and play these counter-productive games. They act like they want the business so much, and that they are all friends in public, then they pull this worthless crap, like they don't need the business.

OK - I have two more tiny topics...

I just want to put in a word for the Origami Universe*, one of my dearest friends, even though it doesn't exist. I compare the Origami Universe to my little friend, the blue canary on the outlet by the light-switch.

Hey Origami!

Oh - OK - I remembered. (You can always tell when I am trying to remember something because I start writing silly).

My dad once ordered me not to be, "silly"!

And all my siblings agreed, with feigned sternness.

"What is silly?" I said!


Hey - here's more Really Still Life with MADMAN! -


"I swear to God, everybody's dressing in black today!"

"I'm a priest."



Ha ha ha...

Anyway... back-to-back to the Origami Universe...


I just wanted to give a little example.

Problem is, I forgot what it was. Sorry. Check back here and possibly I will have filled in this gaping hole.


HAPPY! - - -

But, the whole reason I went and wrote this trite post was because I can get online without much fear, at the moment!!

I just got my phone bill, and they have not been charging (yet) for the access number which I have been using. If they HAD, then I could have been billed up to an additional $100! This would have come at a terrible time, financially. Up until May 15, they have not been charging, (as well they shouldn't). I now cross my fingers and hope this is continuing NOW. However, there does seem to be a possible troll calling me, possibly trying to catch me again. The same thing happened before - a troll caller from the northwest.

Also, I received my latest water/etc. bill today. I was dreading that it might be huge, not only due to all the water I used, planting grass, but because the Nethers possibly let a lot of my water drain out, as more passive aggression. I don't know if the latter happened, but the water bill is definitely manageable.

And my phone bill is in a CREDIT.

So, now all I have to worry about is the huge bite being taken out of the next two month, in my checking account, by the cessation of their, "cash advance," service.

I need to stop buying wine. It is adding up. Unless I get waylaid again, hopefully now I will move back into a mentality of MOVING. I was in this mentality this winter, but a variety of factors, mostly my controlling relative, sank that, and wine became a logical option - it really was appropriate.

Actually, medical mariijuana would be more appropriate.

OK - so, this means I will be online a little more!!

*friends run for the exits*

PS - I decided to rest and then take the dog out, before enjoying going online for a wee bit. In the mean time, I remembered the Origami example. I also witness ADDITIONAL passive aggression, presumably from the workers! On a SATURDAY!

Well - When we use "blithe denial", (as we generally do when we casually inflict passive aggression on people, acting like we are innocent, and unaware of our actions - or of the significance or immorality of our actions), what we do is use our upper brain to regulate or filter out meaningful information, like the truth. When we deny, or inflict passive aggression, we also are performing a violence upon ourselves. Needless to say, acts of SPITE so often do directly affect the perpetrator negatively, against his or her own best interests. This may also accumulate and affect the wider society and economy negatively. Passive aggression is a SECONDARY COST, sought to be foisted off surreptitiously on victims, which nevertheless tends to aggregate like entropy, and eventually come back to bite the perpetrator - or the corporation - in the ass.

Like injurious fight/flight, reptilian actions, it may only serve "evolution" transiently, then accumulate by habit towards decline of the species or group.

I heard somebody say that they would start getting some song stuck in their head. One day, this person began to realise that the lyrics of each song tended to express matters which this person was experiencing in his life. I found that out about myself a LONG time ago, as well. I learnt to be able to listen closer to this magic in me. And it also made me more aware of others, and their splitting brains or consciousness.

We are a collection of different consciousness - going all the way down to the consciousnesses of our cells. But our higher brain, and our auditory memory loop, regulates things so that we always believe we are one single being, experiencing one environment, in one time. (Our, "timeline"). But our cells know differently, and are tuning into a virtual infinity of times, possibilities, facts, truths, and psychic awarenesses. Then come our organs. Then our nervous systems. All the way up, to where our higher brain is regulating all this. When we blithely deny, we command that executive function towards selfish untruths or misdeeds. And mistakes, btw. We repress ourselves inappropriately.

All that infinity comprises our Id, then our unconscious, then our subconscious, then our ego, then the authorities of super-ego society which lord over us, and make us believe big lies, or deliver us from evil.

I had a song stuck in my head, after all this stupidity and stress, living here in this town. It was the classic rock song, "In The City." - "It's survival in the city. Nothing grows and things ain't very pretty. No-one there to catch you when you fall!" Actually, in THIS city, people are conspiring to MAKE you fall. Shows how much the times have changed.

Well - this song was something I KNEW was relevant to my situation, and yet I never thought about it at all, or selected it consciously! That is because the higher brain regulator was letting it through into my ego-consciousness. It was a TRUTH bubbling up from a general consensus of various organs, or what have you, and so it needed to be heard. I am luckilly one who likes to listen to the truth, within me and without me, as I'm floating downstream.

This is the opposite of denial, especially when I became consciously aware of it. However, other information may have been denied in order for it to gain prominence.

What does this have to do with the Origami Universe? A LOT. This is how we experience the magic of coincidence. Our bodies already know 99% of what is going on around us - and a great deal about what is going on across the universe. That is because we have a vastness of antennae, (DNA), and psychic-physical sensors. When your dog hears a sound that you don't, it is tempting to believe that the dog is psychic - just because you don't hear the sound. In fact, your dog just hears more. Well, our bodies are just like your dog.

Not only that, the deeper your dog goes, the more he picks up what is considered truly "PSYCHIC" information, which is not local to even him. But it's the same thing. Similarly, our bodies are picking up discrete, quantum information from across the universe. Even though we seldom register much of this ego-consciously, the reality is that there is SO MUCH OF THIS QUANTUM INFORMATION, that it is essentially overwhelming. It tends to be the greater mass or force or majority in our selves - in our feelings. It comes through as a massive wave and resets all our cells to its condition. Then, it helps us unconsciously calculate what is relevant or true - and then the higher brain no longer represses this, and some single message enters our consciousness. Some single message like: Look what a bizarre coincidence just happened!

So - through all beings, the Origami Universe is bubbling up, and it folds together meanings, and symbols, and memories, and coincidences, all through the agencies of our thinking, and our WILLFUL awareness!

That is how we have meaning and law - and even matter - in this world.

Another way of looking at the aggregation of salient moments or meanings, in the Origami Universe, is to take an external view, and talk about reactivity. An example is when my dog is lying in the back room, he only tends to get up and move around when someone is downstairs. At the very least, he is prodded into a, "here and now." Much of our life goes by meaninglessly. But when events or friends prod us into a here and now, this is what makes meaning, this is what we remember - even though all the other stuff is also impinging on us, through our cells, etc.

Annoyingly, even when my dog is sleeping, will tend to wait until there is someone directly downstairs, and THEN he will begin his crazy loud vocal nightmares! He has become habituated to the likelihood of more stress, via the Nethers.

The intrinsically IRONIC thing about this is that his noise then leads to the Nethers retaliating - against a poor sleeping dog - by banging on the walls, or making their dog bark, etc. Therefore, it happens that he - and so I - and the Nethers become sewn together in the little nodes of simultaneous incidence. We see these as too obviously connected to call them coincidences or superstition - although self-styled enemies of madman101 would declare that I am a paranoid conspiracy theorist with no life. This is only partly true. I am actually the conspiracy.

And so is my little friend, Origami HA! oyyyyyy oy oy oy oyyyyy! HA! HA! CHOP CHOP! HA! Woosh! Woosh! Kapow!

These nodes of incidence are, however, very related to coincidence and superstition - but I cannot discuss this major topic now.

So, my dog reacts to them, they react to the dog. My dog then feels the need to piss on his pissing post. This makes N-Girl angry for no reason, so she reacts, and so forth. In the external world, these linkages of reactivity are a way that the Origami Universe creates meaning, through our very observation, participation, and consciousness.

But, as I said, also bubbling up from below are an infinity of messages from our body, as well. These tend to collude into physical STRESS and anxiety, and so the natural reactive dynamic becomes more and more of a pathetic game or war, towards the game theory idea of, "tit-for-tat," or the mass, "tragedy of the commons." When this anxiety festers, without active resolution, as was accomplished by rx_freeyourmind, then it creates illness and abuse.

(You even get this corrupted Origami magic, (reactivity), when you look across and get eye contact with a crazy homeless guy, and so he feels connected, and he runs at you with a bottle of piss, (See This American Life" archives). Or, when you move in and the neighbours below feel connected and so they spend 2.5 years banging on the walls, calling you a fucker of mothers, and so forth).

The interesting thing, for me, is this: According to my thought, this reactivity is related to the formation of matter, (elements), in our physical universe. The same process(es) which is all about COGNITIONS and abstractions and words in our own heads, is the process which creates and sustains the matter and energy which we are able to observe, (even though both are only a tiny fraction of the scientifically measured universe - the rest being things we cannot observe - dark matter, and dark energy. Similar to what you cannot hear, in your reality-timeline, even though yur dog or body DOES hear, i.e., observe).

The degradation of reactivity, and associated salient meanings and thoughts, into elementary or "reptilian" contests, (involving energy, time and entropy, btw), veers away from more discrete, associational regulations by higher brains, and therefore moves society towards mistake and dysfunction, even as every member is lunging to protect their version of STATUS quo.

The question is: Will we allow our social mass to decay into fundamentalist, animal reactivity - a dark chaos which everyone denies and lies about - or are we going to make ways for us to use our social higher brains to TRANSCEND it, and so to make better meanings, and a workable future? It is within our power and will to at least attempt as much, as provided by a universe of astonishing power and magic. But only if we make it so.

These are the Voyages.

"..I'm crazy and obsessed with signs from the universe, and... seeing a grasshopper means that the universe is encouraging you to move forward in life.." - rx_freeyourmind.

* "Origami Universe" is a term probably not created by madman, but used relentlessly as if it had been. (The word, "zombot", however, is a madman101 creation. See previous post).

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