You will own nothing and you will be nothing. (madman101) wrote,
You will own nothing and you will be nothing.

On the wondrous tedium of incidental madness.

I had some good food earlier, and a nap. Slowly, I am pushing back this dementia relapse. Drinking 1 decaf-mocha per day no sugar, too. Took dog out tonight, dark, no more rain. He totally surprised me by suddenly running inside, just to make me happy. Usually I have to tug and prompt and wait etc. So, I quietly thanked him inside. But he was getting too bouncy so I had to quiet him down. I gave him a chicken-flavoured rawhide square but he had to be in the bedroom for this, for quietness. But, while I was getting the chew from inside an upper cabinet, a plastic bottle fell out on to the stove, and then bounced loudly on the floor. The dementia was secretly making things difficult all of the sudden. So, I put the bottle back up in the cabiet, and then it fell out AGAIN. Then I gave the dog the shew, and continued putting away cooled-food, etc. But, then the dog is out in the living room, so I have to tell him to go into the bedroom as I had told him - so he had to BOUNCE in all loudly. Sometimes I just want to scream, trying to keep things quiet and coordinated - esp. when I am so far behind in every damn part of life, including getting dog hair off much of the carpet. I checked my AM radio, and once again, it was buzzing loudly, so that it was impossible to listen to anything. This buzz comes from the Nether's porch or closet, and I sometimes wonder if they have learnt to do it to retaliate, having heard it affect my "Coast-to-Coast" or my "Thom Hartmann". But, more importantly, I wonder if the really bad electricity here does help make dementia worse at times. Maybe the fluorescent light went on downstairs, and suddenly I start misplacing and dropping things absent-mindedly, with a slight blockage-headache going on. Maybe that light, which is on much more in the colder darker days near winter time, is a big factor in my winter-spring crises. Who knows. Plus, there's all this WiFi everywhere - even the water meter - plus my own lap-top - which affects the blood-brain barrier. And all the buzzing on the lines gets worse in wet weather. And it's probably also affecting N-Girl and HER madness - along with all the gluten, sugar, caffeine and Mary Jane Iguana. And chain-smoking. But, try to even bring these things up and they attribute it to the EFFECT of all the illness and electrical dissonance - the dementia itself, which they only see as some kind of mad-scientist-retarded-Salem-witch kinda weirdness, not the inability to think in a straight line - just like in ADD. But, "World Cafe," rocks. I wish I could whistle or harmonocize to the Indie beat, in all the coolness of my glory days, but no I am living in a cultural straightjacket. Writing about my successes in catching mice. And frickin rawhide chews.

Now, I am feeling better, and - guess what? The light is out - the buzzing has stopped. My Pineal Gland can breath again.

I am maybe delaying buying my precious coconut oil, turmeric, garlic, onion, Aller-Aid - just to make an unexpected purchase I personally don't need and won't receive - so - who knows how bad things might get - all depending on whether N-Girl decides to hate me - and how much.

When the stars go blue..... Where did ANYTHING go?

Well, I apologised to my dog for not keeping up my chipperness and unconditional love - but these are the times... Not to mention the whole geomagnetic pole shift stuff... At least I'm not taking SSRI's, hearing voices, and playing shoot-em-up video games on actual human beings, I mean suddenly dead people..

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