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eek - oh noez

universe relieved of flesh-eating zombots

Posted on 2013.07.04 at 15:26
Moon-Sized Meteor Impacts Earth, Ball Games
One day after being declared an official terrorist, moon-sized Asteroid #666-CUlater slammed into the United States today, causing Wall Street to crash. Moments before impact, millions of people across the country were seen shouting at the meteor, "USA! USA! USA!," and were immediately vaporized. Climate-change-denier Republicans vacationing in the Cook Islands were heard to declare, "OK! OK! We can HAVE global warming!," just before they were swallowed up by a 100-mile-high wave of molten lava. Many billions of ants were projectiled into space and quickly set up little cafes on the many flying rocks, somehow learning to speak French, and exporting the very best of human civilization to far, far reaches of the galaxy. NASA was unavailable for comment.

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