I am the person who will destroy China. (madman101) wrote,
I am the person who will destroy China.

18 for may!

1 - this is day 3 of relapse.

2 - when i use mostly no CAPS, it usually means some part of my brain is being eaten alive, and i must be forgiven for not commenting and for not making long boring posts.

3 - my dog eats better than i do. i have run out of fish oil but doggie is swimming in it.

4 - mortgage is between a man and a woman, and the new world order, the latter of whom are dressed up like the village people.

5 - when i think about phyla, etc., i don't know what "dominant species" means. insects have it ALL OVER mammals and ants are swarming ALL OVER ME and they are full of bacteria, so.

6 - to get ahead in this world you must have hollow breasts that play calypso music.

7 - ever since i started limiting HTTPS port 443, craigslist has given up trying to geo-locate me. for a while there, they were swinging me from Minneapolis to Sioux Falls to Chicago. it kind of reminded me of my exciting SW DXing days as a child.

8 - the purpose of this journal is to add people and get dropped by them until there is only one person hanging on. this will be the mate for me, male or female, whom i will marry on my death-bed, and we will both float up to heaven, the ultimate orgasm.

9 - i have been eating way too much of these tasty sunflower seeds, and am sure to run out MONTHS before i planned to. what i SHOULD do is run out to the supermarket. but these seeds are a great diet and i no longer have an abdomen, so now only the top part of me takes my dog out in the morning.

10- maybe i can teach my dog to feed the horses and chickens in the winter, if i move into my shot-gun shack, and i can just lay there completely still for years, saving up for indoor plumbing.

11- ringo star said that all he had was a photograph and now he says he can't even find that.

12- the 1/2 of my giant pseudo-hispanic cornbread started getting mouldy so i shaved the spots and cooked it more and now it taste better than the first half - all tough and chewy and corny! like a fine wine.

13- i apologise for all the emotional damage i have done to anyone by leading them to think that i am either ru paul or morrissey. i am in fact a hybrid of taco bell and leif erickson.

14- this decade will become known as the decade when chase bank and mh global took turns trying to figure out what happened to yet another $2 billion. it will all later be discovered beneath the foot of the Sphinx. and it stinks.

15- i searched and searched for ways to live right and not harm the planet & so i eventually became a buddhist monk. one day, after i had walked across a great seething vat of hot coals, another monk beat me with a candle-stick. "what was THAT for," i cried. and he said, "look! carbon footprint!"

16- then a bunch of amish guys ran up and cut off my beard, which is how circumcision first originated.

18- nothing on this list is allowed to fly.

ps -#17- when i was in HS, we had a giant tyrant principal. his son managed to be both a prick and an asshole at the same time. and all the pretty jocks knew they had to love him. me, i kept to my little gang of creative insane intelligencia. but the principals daugher started following us around, wanting to be with us. she was nice. we even sang to her. but i always thought she might be a spy. by accident. she just wanted OUT!!!!!!
Tags: +++, my anecdotes / aphorisms, my colourful posts, my funny posts - & see funny, my quotes / sayings

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