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brb - IL

creepy crawlies

Posted on 2012.05.03 at 09:42
Tags: , , ,
The insects here are really stupid. They are really easy to catch or swat, or they end up in the can. You can even hover over a small fly and pick it off the wall with a piece of tissue paper. That's not like the insects from ye Olde City. Not at all. The insects there play games where they fly into your face, and come back and punish you at night after you've tried to kill them. Spiders expect you to share your pillow at night.

In ye Old City, once any mouse family was finally exterminated, a whole new batch would say, "Hey the mouse-Wilsons moved out! Let's move in!" And they move in and do acrobatics all night - they even squeak straight to your face telling you to back off, or they skirt around squeaking, trying to tease you or your dog. HERE, however, the mice, from what I've gathered, are small and timid - just like the dogs, who have evolved down because the monstrous people bark louder and the dogs just gave up. I don't know anything about squirrels here. But in Philly, (a dif city from ye Olde City), they were really aggressive in Washington Square. I mean SERIOUS aggressive. So were the pigeons. In ye Olde City, squirrels were bold but since they were all my friends they weren't a bother of any kind and they brought me saffron.

I figure the varmits here are lame mostly because it is a small town, and they are still linked to the farm areas. Maybe I was a happy child because I grew up near farms, and insects were never a constant aggravation. And mice were nothing a friendly cat couldn't deal with. Then I moved to ye Olde City, and life just seemed to get to be more and more of a pain in the ass. But at least ye Olde City was mostly libertarian+liberal, and the creatures had some respect for alternative lifestyles. Here, the insects are just as conservative as everyone else, even though they may CALL themselves Democrats. In Madison, ALL the insects were liberals and they would come in all high from some neighbour's Ganja but they also gave money to charity so they basically could only afford to dress like bums but that's fine. Some of my best friends were insects. No one else bothered to talk to me. They figured I was a racist because I kept the top of my collar buttoned.

I think I've figured out why people back-down so easilly here, in ye Pathetic New Town. It's because when someone starts yelling, they never stop. At the end of the night, they are still yelling and that's how they go to sleep. So, nobody wants to come up against THAT. This is unfortunate, because it means people back down from me only because they habitually expect that I might also launch into infinite yelling. But I don't want to yell. I don't even want to talk. I want to run around all day yanking on the boy's penises, wee hee. It will be sheer hell when I am finally exposed, for being a silent one, and life shall suck, and an insect I will be.

Comments:


cream_n_coffee
cream_n_coffee at 2012-05-04 06:43 (UTC) (Lien)
I think this is my favorite post you made...so far.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2012-05-05 03:09 (UTC) (Lien)
i appreciate that!
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